4:15:30 PM1
I stood, glaring at the lone bolt. The sunlight glinted malevolently off its dull grey surface - reminding me very much of a camshaft pulley bolt. I tightened my grip on the socket and shaft, while bringing the hammer up in my right hand.2
‘It’s time for you to die,’ I growled. Then, with a primal roar - sounding very much like a strangled duck, I leapt at the bolt. Smashing away at it with my hammer, wrenching it with my socket and shaft and screaming at it. After an age of effort, I slumped onto the grass, exhausted - the bolt remained firm. 3
I looked at my watch, expecting to see hours gone by. 4
4:16:57 PM5
I groaned. I seriously needed to get fit. Doing that bolt took a lot out of me. 6
Round one, Bolt: 1, Me: 07
Getting to my feet I returned to glaring at the bolt. I needed more leverage, the shaft was too short. I needed an extension. Stalking off to the back of the house I proceeded to rummage through our metal selection to find something longer and firmer to take to the bolt. 8
Finding a nice long bar I headed back to my car. This would do it, 1.5 metres of bar to bust that bolt free. 9
Getting everything in place I pushed the bar up. Straining and grunting I pushed. 10
To no avail. 11
The bolt was still stuck solid. 12
I glowered at the bolt, why was it being so stubborn? Couldn’t it see that I was doing this for the good of the car? All I wanted was to change the timing belt - keep it from blowing up. Why was it being so hard! 13
I pondered. Something more was needed here. There was just too much bounce in it when I smacked it. The pulley needed to be held still. But there wasn’t enough time left today, it was getting cold and dark. I’d have to return tomorrow to finish it off. 14
Round two, Bolt: 2, Me: 015
**To be continued**
Author notes
Well, true story... What can I say, I must live a boring life if I'm telling the story of a bolt... 
A contest entry
- Open a story by gerifitzsimmons.
600 points, ended July 1, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING GOES! LETS SEE HOW MANY ENTRIES WE CAN GET!!! by Marisalyn13.
100 points, ended November 15, 117 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Is my non-fiction (life) as entertaining as my fiction?
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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haha it's okay, bolts are terrible things, and if you don't tell their wretched story than who will?
I loved this, btw
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You did it really well! It is a quite funny piece! Keep writting
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OMG that's hilarious! The clock-check made me cackle out loud! (COL?)
Real-life situations, told from a humorous angle, are always the best, because people relate to them. I can't wait to read what the bolt tried on you next!
p8 s/b "an extension"
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Hehe. Glad you enjoyed. The next part is up now.
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Hahahahahahahahahahaha. xD Don't you just hate it when inanimate objects are out to get you? xD Wondeful write. Made me laugh out loud and get stared at. hahahaha. xD I Hope you eventually win that battle!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Ohhhh yes... Thanks for reading. The next part is up now.
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Good job!!! I liked the title, it reminds me of the story i read 2 days ago ... The Lightning Theif ... good job
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Well, you had to grab my interest and keep me reading--you did do that
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Hehe. Glad you enjoyed and got a giggle out of it.
And thanks for the bronze.
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I really enjoyed this! Great description!!! PLEASE KEEP WRITING!
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LMAO!! You poor guy! Geeeez! I'm sorry to laugh at your pain, but you did write quite an amusing story!
I only have one editing suggestion:
PARA 8 -- I needed and extension.
-- should this read: I needed an extension ?
Anyhow....this was really great...Can't wait to see which of you wins. Good luck!
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Well, I wrote it for people to laugh, so...
The next part is up now. So you can find out the conclusion.
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It's good! Sounds like one of my friends in metal shop... Oh well. By number 2, I would have grabbed a saw.
Can't wait for the next one. Good job and keep writing!
Lithron
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Next part is up.
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Saw won't get in there.
Plus I can't get a replacement bolt, rung a dozen wreckers and no one has one. So I can't damage it. Or I'd have to make a replacement myself.
thanks for reading.
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It's a pretty good opening
I know it's supposed to be a beginning, but I want to know who won? If it's me, the bolt always wins.
Trish
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Well, you can find out now, the next part is up, and on my page.
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Have you thought of using a special Doozer Zap Gun?
This is one funny story, not for you, but for the rest of us who don't have to do the work.
Thanks for sharing.
Lawrie
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Oh and by the way I just read your comment to abstract muse... Sometime it is impossible to get the belt around right...
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
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Well, it's all changed now. The next part is up, so you can read how. xD
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Shush. It shall all go smoothly once I get the bolt off. *Glares at the car behinds its back* It WILL go smoothly.
Glad you enjoyed it.
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AWESOME
Loved this story, really. My husband builds engines on the side and fixes cars. How many times I have watched exactly what you have written. And Laughed just as hard... Just remember cars have a personality all their own... stroke their ego and eventully you Will win... It may be hours later.
Can't wait to read more... Good Luck.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Dude. I have so been there. The timing belt? Hate to tell ya, but that bolt is the least of your worries. But then you probably know that by now. *laughs*
Not to add to your misery, ..well, ..yeah, ..to add to the misery. In p8, 'I needed and extension.' should be 'an' extension.
Hey! I'm just trying to help here.
With the story, not the car.
You're on your own with that. *laughs*
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Actually, that bolt is the last of my worries. Changing the belt will be easy next to that, I already have the complete manual for the car so I know exactly what to do, and working things like that out is easy enough, but when it comes to brute strength... there is only so much I can do. >.<
Ahh, thanks for pointing that out. I have a nasty habit of sticking that d there...
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Awesome!
Oh I get it! lol! I love the story! Very descriptive, amazing! -
Hmm, I don't understand it, yet
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Nice, very nice story/
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well people categorize "guys" under such things but i guess everyone in this world is distinct and different.....
nice effort...keep it up!!
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oh my gosh, I'm cracking up here, very odd story, something that I can see happening, lol ,I do it all the time
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HAHA i love it! such a boring topic but you make it so humerous! yes i agrea with the others, this is a guy story...but i really did enjoy this. it put a smile on my face. x
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Lol
True guy story, lol. If you were trying to be funny, I'm laughing really hard and if not, then I'll totally be serious. *folding hands and placing them on desk, looking expectantly* -
Definitely a "guys talk" kind of story, entertaining, and a little funny. I think you could use some light cursing, and the bolt should definitely have some kind of personality, maybe "talk" to you, you know when you are really mad at some inanimate object that you have the feeling its mocking you? That would surely make the story funnier... God Job so far, I want to read more when you continue it..
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Thanks for reading. I'm not a huge fan of cursing myself, so what's in there is pretty much what I use. Unless under extreme stress, in which case it'll be worse, but I don't record that.
Next part is up now.
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If you were going for humor it is funny. Such a guy story--no offense. I may come back and read the continuation just because.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Definitely
In reality it would've been pretty boring to watch, but you totally made it sound good. LOL!!! That is one hell of a stubborn bolt. -
LOL!!! Oh, geez, the horrors of dealing with rusty bolts on cars. And to change the timing belt, no less. You'd think the bolt might be at least a teeny bit grateful.
I love the humor with which you approach this situation.
Great story so far! I can definately relate. Last summer someone broke into my truck and stole only two things: the key to my locking lug nuts, and the key to my locking trailer hitch. You can guess what I get to do the next time I want to rotate my tires. -
Haha, that bolt still haunting your every thought? I have to admit, that's one hell of a stubborn bolt. It really likes its place. Sorry my Da didn't have any more suggestions. =(
As for the story, it made me laugh here and there. I think the best way to extend the story without making it boring is to add lots of humour. And slowly build up the frustration. Maybe instead of jumping right in to the story, start a little earlier. Have a light-hearted thingy going on with the success of the rest of the bolt's removal, and how you totally don't expect that one bolt to cause a problem.
Well, that's my advice.
Much love,
~Nika
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This is better than the Armageddon journals.
*gets some popcorn*
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Lets see how much I can pack the story out without getting boring.
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