I don't know what to do.

I sit at the computer desk crying and smiling at the same time. I'm talking to Allie and HIM. We get into a conversation and then I tell him "You know, whenever your sad, I'm ALWAYS sad, when your happy, I'm ALWAYS happy." He's like "kk, =]" Then he was happy. For him just to be happy because of me, means a lot. He means so much to me, and this night I trusted him, feeling so protected by him. Earlier he got really mad when I told him people were saying I shouldn't breathe and stuff. I was texting him, he cared so much. He got very tense, yes I could tell through the text and he said "I want to know who is being like that to you." I giggle, and say to myself "You do care." I reply "Its my battle, I can take it, I always do" or something like that. My heart flutters. This time, he was very caring, I loved it. By this time, I was scared, very scared. I kept telling myself, being the pessimist I am (ALLIE -_-") "He doesn't mean it. He's just getting to you. He wants to hurt you, I know it." I cry harder, as these thoughts run through my mind. I tell Allie about this, and she calls me a pessimist. -_-" She says I need to enjoy the moment while it lasts. I then describe the dreams I always have about her and HIM. They kill me, all the time. She repeatedly says/goes "!!!!!!!!!!!!" I was like "You guys suck." The thoughts of these dreams make it harder for me to breathe. Meanwhile, me and HIM are having a normal conversation. I just want to explode. I feel like I'm going to snap.(ALLIE) I didn't tell anyone about this feeling. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a damn pessimist. I'm very upset and happy at the same time. He then IM'ed me on Myspace IM instead of AIM, like he was before. His "O"'s were hearts. We both laughed at that. We talked until he said that he needed sleep for his job, that started tomorrow. We stayed up the night before texting each other constantly, seeing who could stay up longer. He won. I only stayed up until 2. He stayed up the whole time. He was very tired. So was I. He got offline, and then I got even more sad. He said he would text me the next day, so I was happy. I told Allie that she should get on Myspace IM and talk to me there. She got on, but never talked to me. -_-" Why was that Allie? She went to bed, and I was mad. I continued talking to Kirsten B. and Bethany. I eventually went to sleep, thinking about OUR conversation. 1