Typically, the first day of summer is a blast, one huge party. This year was a bit different than others, though. We all had the same bittersweet feeling eating away at us this year. Hopelessness and heartbreak gnawed away at the elating feeling of summer that was also inside each of us. That first day of summer was also our first day as high-schoolers, the day we graduated.1
I woke up late for the first time in a long while. I rapidly blinked the sleep from my eyes. My clock finally came into focus and I found that it was ten o’clock. I expected my heart to leap at the thought of my first day of summer. First day of freedom, of yellow sunshine beating down on my back and drying it after a fun swim with my friends, the first of many. I tried my best to tell my self these things, and had to try even harder to make myself beleive them. Apparently, I wasn't trying hard enough because a depressing thought wouldn't cease to run through my mind. There were some people that I'd see tonight that I'd never, ever see again. Sure, it was only a middle school graduation, but I would still genuinely miss those who were going to different high schools as me. Of course summer is great, but "life at best is bittersweet".2
The day passed in a second and the next thing I knew, I was walking into Glen Landing Middle School for the last time. I greeted everyone with a hug and watched as everyong, including myself, tried their very best to hold back tears. I kept a straight face through the ceremony, focusing on the words that were being said in the front of the room.3
When the graduation was over all of the new freshman headed outside. Now, their were tear streamed faces and watery eyes not around me, I knew it would be impossible for my to stay happy, so, I let it happen. I let the bittersweet feeling inside of me swollow the summer happiness and let tears begin to roll down my face. I squeezed my friends tightly, not ever wanting to let go. I looked at each face that I would miss and try to memorize it's features so that I would remember it forever.4
I got home that night and bawled myself to sleep, thinking of the amazing people that I'd never see again and, the last moment I saw my crush of to years. We waved goodbye from across the parking lot. I'd turned around and didn't look back, I thought of the teachers, the classrooms, the memories, each new thing I thought of that I'd miss made me cry a bit harder.5
The golden, dazzling sunlight streaming through my window woke me the next morning. A bird flew by and chirped in greeting. I heard a splash, most likely made by a few early risers jumping into a pool. After the night of crying, I was completely ready for summer. I welcomed it with open arms. I was now filled with happiness by the late nights, beautiful beaches, scorching sun, rippling waters, star gazing, best friends, and pure freedom that is summertime.6
Author notes
"Life at best is bittersweet" quote by Jack Kirby
A contest entry
- Summer (For Writers 14 and Under) by Kevan.
150 points, ended July 24, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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amazing
i relate to this, even though i didn't have a middle school graduation at my school. my middle school was small, and the HS is too, so everyone knows everyone. lots and lots of crying. well written.beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I found it hard to believe how someone could get so emotional when they come to end of a stage int heir educational part of life. I guess it's more my personal experience that means I find it hard to sympathise with the character in this story.
But it is well written. The mistakes have already been mentioned by others and yes, corrections and rewrites will improve this. The idea is good but it can be fleshed out with more detailed memories and descriptions.beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, characters: 2.
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Wow.
Despite the fact it was completely opposite of my middle school graduation (I couldn't wait to get out of there!) I sympathized with the main character and genuinely loved the different approach you tried in order to make your story unique.
The only thing that could change would be this sentence:
"Now, their were tear streamed faces and watery eyes not around me, I knew it would be impossible for my to stay happy, so, I let it happen." (para 4)
A couple things to be editted here. First, "their" should become "there" (this got me confused until my mom, the english teacher, slapped it into my head
). Add and s to "tear" and you're there. There are a few other things but those are things that the author controls, depending on how s/he wants it to be read, so the rest is fine.
The rest of the sentences didn't need editting because this piece was amazing and made my jaw drop.
I rarely give clappies but you get them for amazingness.
GC
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I can really relate to this, I mean sometimes summer's not what you always expect. The last sentence was very beautiful. Hope the rest of your summer is great!
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Emotive
As I read, my own past bittersweet moments called back to me. Your story made a connection with me. I particularly liked your final welcome of summer -- you had grieved your loss, but walked on in welcome. Keep writing. You are very good.
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Very beautiful. I loved the fact that you wrote about Summer sadness where most would write about happiness. You're only fourteen and you wrote a piece with such complex emotions... I congratulate you
Thank you for the entry, best of luck in the contest and have a great Summer!
Kevan.
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