He watched an old woman in a black dress carefully navigating the cobblestone path and wondered if the loves he had known in his younger, more careless days would remember him with fondness when they too had grown old, or if he would be just one more disappointment in their memory; one more painful ending.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Oh, isnt this yet another sad story of our lives? you said in so well, deep and full of thought. I hope as we grow older, the memory will be happy ones, but life is such, we have to take what it gives us.
how have you been doing Mark, hope all is well with you? Take care and hope to hear from you soon.
Love and light
Lencio -
this is good and now that u said that im wondering
will anybody remeber me for who i was or just as a disipointmen to the world or atleast to the people i know and love thank u for making me think about the future rather than only focusing on the present and the past -
the voice of hindsight?
Old loves have their own lessons, some of which take a lifetime to learn, but always it is the love we carry in the now that works to make a difference. Holding the past beyond it's worth can be a painful taskmaster.
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Um, you really should change the colours - it's like shooting doves in a room full of white, fluffy, flying tanks. Or something. This is obviously part of a comp.? It is very goood. This is the second thing of yours I've read and both have dealt masterfully with age and death. This feels like it could be inserted in a great novel in the vein of Garcia Marquez and not be too out of place. Very sad, very hopeful, full of the small and tremendous mysteries of life.
Well Done.
K. F.
P. S. Perhaps it could use some full stops, it runs a long a little too fast for my taste.
beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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congrats on your HM
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Perfect~
As I am at the halfway mark this poem made me stop and think and in 55 words no less... full of rich vivid imagery & I hope at least one of his loves is a fond memory and not such lingering disappointment....
Excellent poem hun & this should have a trophy no doubt
I got up a new one too and do hope ya come visit me
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Wow, you said so much in just 55 words..This was very deep Mark..I had to read it couple times to get the idea because I got little confused ..this was fantastic as your usual work..This should be winner
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Fine write. Succinct, yet full of depth.... with a rich voice... and feel to it.
Nice work, friend.
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And interesting question. When all is said and done, do we remember the good... or do we remember the bad? I hope it's the good.
Well done.
-Ceilinh -
Goodness, How in the world can you do that with fifty five words?! Thats insane! Liek I said before, if I had half of your talent and writing ability I'd have no doubt to be a great author like you. You better win a trophy for this or your niece is gonna... no, just kidding... way too much in the anger mode
... I really love the story though... 55 words... 55 WORDS ... I cannot get over that, I hardly think I could come up with a beginning much less a meaning portion or story! But i guess that just goes to show how talented you are ... Love you! 
Sara
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exactly 55 words
As this started I was thinking the man was her former love and then I began to realize it was a younger man looking forward.
looking at the picture it made me think maybe of a man who loved a woman who became a nun (she looks sort of nunnish huh?).
this is very poignant and makes a person really stop and think.
I have to say because of the fact there is room for interpretation and a bit more of an essence of a story this is my favorite of your two entries, I am glad you entered it second.
Thank you and Good luck
Susan -
Gave me a lot to think about. I can imagine how getting older can get those awful feelings. Well written, touching too. So? you're up another trophy eh? Whatever, I truly loved this piece Mark! Leaving now to the Municipality for some work, and will be back soon.Catch you if you'd still be on.
Love and light,
Mark -
Awwww! Sometimes old seems so hollow. I hope an old woman would remember the loves in her life. This reminds me that age takes its toll on everything. Even memories. I like the poignancy of this for both the speaker and the old woman.
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