Prologue1
A young girl stood by the window staring with hopeful eyes, waiting eyes. She closed them listening to the sound of the rain patter against the windowsill. She could smell the moss embracing the moisture from outside.2
"Embers?"3
She lifted her reddish black eyes towards the reflection in the window, behind her stood a beautiful woman with dark hair like hers though longer and less wispy. She walked over to Embers stroking back her hair.4
"Mephma?"5
"Yes?" asked Nynaura.6
Nynaura let in a breath, the girl looked more and more like the Demon Prince everyday. 7
Embers turned to face the only Mother she knew.8
"She isn't coming back is she?"9
"What?"10
"The Demon Prince...she's not coming back for me is she?" Ember's eyes filled with tears she collapsed onto her knees rumpling her light dress.11
Nynaura was silent for a while and then she spoke. "No...not for a real long time." She bent down beside Embers wrapping an arm around her shoulder supportively.12
"Why? Was it something I did? What did I do?"13
"Nothing...you did nothing wrong."14
"Then why doesn't she want me?"15
Nynaura sucked in her breath, how could she tell her daughter that she had betrayed her birth mother. That the Demon Prince had come back had begun to fall in love with her. She struggled against the tears and then she kissed Embers forehead and lifted those dark eyes towards her own.16
"She wanted you."17
"So much she gave me away?"18
Nynaura didn't want to lie to the girl, she didn't want to lie and say that if The Demon Prince weren't enslaved by Angrilm that she would come for Embers, but at the same time Nynaura had seen love in her eyes for the girl just before...19
"Mom?"20
"I don't know." Nynaura finally spoke honestly. "The Demon Prince has felt so much pain...I just don't know."21
Embers buried her head into Nynaura's waist against her eggshell coloured sweater, she held her tightly. "You are the only Mother." her voice was sorrowful and strong.22
"No..." Nynaura breathed.23
"You mean you don't want me either then?"24
"Of course I want you!" Nynaura cried lifting Embers chin. "Of course I want you, I want you so much that you are here with me...I just wish..."25
Nynaura didn't finish what she was going to say, she sighed, but Embers knew. "You just wish that my birth mother...that she wanted me too?"26
"She can't love you right now."27
Embers heart ached she held her Mother tighter, when another young girl slightly younger than Embers walked towards the door.28
"I'm sorry I made you invisible in the picture." Willow lowered her eyes shamefully.29
Embers turned towards her four year old sister she wiped her eyes. "Willow." she gave a remorseful canine grin. "I'm sorry I crumbled your crayon."30
Nynaura opened her arms and Willow's eyes lit up, she ran over to them wrapping her arms around both her sister and her Mother.31
"I love you Embers..." Willow sat back pushing her long white braids out of her face.32
Nynaura kissed them both on the head. "I've got to get the bread out of the oven." she withdrew from them and walked out of the room leaving the girls alone.33
"Do you really want to go away with The Demon Prince?"34
Embers slumped down. "She isn't coming back for me Willow."35
"But...do you really want to go away...to leave me and mother?"36
"No..." Embers blushed then shrugged her shoulders again. "Who would want to? Besides, if she did come back for me I wouldn't get to have any friends or siblings...I'd probably sit in an empty dark room with no light and little love..."37
Embers felt tears come down her cheeks again, if her Mother did come back...that was all the love she needed. She took in a breath lifting her eyes towards her sister. Staring at her, she realized she had all the love she needed right there. She didn't need the cold love from her Birth Mother's eyes...she had the warmth from her Mother's eyes, the warmth from her little sisters eyes.38
"Bread is ready!"39
Embers and Willow jumped up in unison. "I'll race ya!" Willow cried out. Embers chased Willows as they ran down the banister. As usual Embers reached the table before Willow, Willow tumbling in shortly after.40
"Woahhh! I thought I heard a stampede coming!" Nynaura placed two hot slices of bread before the two. The girl's bit down, Embers chewed slowly feeling the crunch of the apple spiders that rested nestled in the hot bread.41
She closed her eyes as the love from her Mother's bread hit her nose, her muscles relaxed she chewed more slowly. Opening her eyes she looked around her, at her sister happily eating with one hand and reaching for the glass of blue milk Nynaura handed her with the other. She turned her eyes towards her Mother, her beautiful Mother. She nodded firmly. She didn't need The Demon Prince. She would never need her again. All she needed was right here, the ache in her heart began to dull but the wound in her soul remained slow to heal.42
Author notes
The Demon Prince is an androgynous demon who is referred to as female. But who holds the title Prince. (Revealed further on in rest of novel).
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Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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It was very good. I was a bit confused toward the middle with how the Demon Prince was her mother, but the Authors Note helped.
Great description. I had a good picture of what Embers looked like.
I really liked the last lines of the prologue, the part "All she needed was right here, the ache in her heart began to dull but the wound in her soul remained slow to heal."
Great job with the prologue I liked it. -
Ah, that explanation in your A/N was very much needed! After the "she" part happened a few times, I knew it was not a mistake. XD
I have one question, though. The Demon Prince is Ember's mother, right? Then why is "she" falling in love with her? That makes it a romantic thing starting, and that is very weird, ya' know, with Ember being "her" daughter! If I misunderstood, please let me know, and if I'm right in what I pointed out, you might want to tweak that! *rolf*
The was a nice prologue, I do want to read the ther chapters you have posted.
~sberendt
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*laughs* sorry yeah I know "The Demon Prince" throws people off, I just thought that for this particular character "The Demon Princess" just sounded too corny
. I was worried at first how people would take that, but then the characters themselves are just genderless/most of them choose one and are granted a title specific to their nature.
The Demon Prince 'is' Ember's 'biological' mother yes. The thing is her mother abandoned her with her aunt (Nynaura) when she was very young. And Ember's is always yearning for her to the point where after she reaches a certain age she gives up on that dream and realizes that the person who has been her real Mother who sacrificed everything for her was Nynaura. Most of the story then circles around bitter feelings towards her biological Mother. At the same time the main Character is The Demon Prince and people who are involved with her.
Still! What you said held me at great interest. I couldn't understand at first what I had said to make anyone think about 'falling in love' and then! I reread and realized how that could be mistaken. What I meant by that was that The Demon Prince had returned once when the girl was much younger. She was getting to a point where her heart was healing enough to love her daughter, but because of what Nynaura had done they would never know if she would have returned for her or not.
I hope that makes more sense? I used the word love because that is the only word I could think of to describe what I felt wrestling my own emotions and thought it fit. Do you think that would confuse others? What other words are just as powerful that cane be replaced with that you think? Or maybe do you think I should not replace the word just rephrase? (Sorry about all the questions at the end!) -
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I think just rephrasing it would be fine!
And about the whole genderless deal, maybe you could subtly put an "explanation" within the story that makes that clear.
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Good...
I like the way you describe, you can really make readers feel inside the story.
The inocence of a girl always mixes good with some dark theme somehow.
It is a good plot, interesting, it makes me want to know what else happens, it makes me want to want more, haha.
Good argument, I liked it.
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