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Once upon a time there was a girl who had too much. She swam on air, her head was diamonds. She spoke in Spanish, although she couldn't remember much. Her eyes had no color describable, because they resembled her heart.2
She got up slowly, floating eyes on the clock, which had stopped ticking. Her mind took gradually to the subject of not having time at all. "I imagine it's very nice," she said aloud. No one heard.3
A shark watched her from the other side of the room, admiring her eyes. "Such beautiful non-existence," he thought to himself. "Such radiant vacancy." He approached her.4
The crashing of a guitar in it's erotic first chord awoke her from a heart-focused coma. Contemplatively, she lingered on her shark. He was next to her now, smiling with too many teeth. "You have too many teeth," she informed him.5
"Is that bad?" he grinned. She wandered away in her head. He was too eager to please.6
"I had too much and I have too much," she replied. She resolved not to cry for him, or herself. The lights were suddenly much too bright, and all at once, she was asleep.7
Author notes
This makes not much sense, I admit that. But I like it. It's a piece of a night and a life, stretched and fictionized.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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didnt make sense? personally, it made absolutley PERFECT sense to me... but then again, i write stuff like this... i loved it. but still.. why a shark, i wonder? other than that question, i see absolutley nothing wrong.. masterfully done, and short... which is good, seeing as i have no attention span.. keep it up!
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I can't see anything I would like altered. The repetition of 'you have too many teeth' is just priceless and I guess we all have our sharks (and too much) at times. This is very well written. Barbie. Xx
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I like it, seems very natural. like a dream or a memory...beautiful
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