The Air-Boat

“And what about the flower? So perfect, so austere. Beautiful and yet forbidding, unwilling to let anyone in to share its beauty, unwilling to bend yet doing so at the slightest breeze. Are you not like this flower?”1

The woman huffed and turned away.2

“Fine,” said the man. “I will sail my boat to the land beyond the sunset, and I will stop in the Field of Morning to gather all the beautiful flowers that I can find—flowers that give off the most beautiful of scents, that let people in to their beauty. And I will come back here, wrapped in scent, and perhaps then you will have me.”3

And he did. But still the woman turned a cold shoulder.4

“Fine,” he said. “My air boat will take me anywhere. I shall sail it to the land before the sunset, and there bathe in the new fresh dew, and ask that it purify me of all that you do not like in me, so all that remains will be pleasing to you.”5

And she turned at this and said, “No, don’t.”6

But his course was set. He sailed to the land before the sunset, and bathed in the new fresh dew, and canted and asked that he be purified of all that was undesirable to the cold woman. And he was.7

He came back, and he was a skeleton, lacking of flesh and of soul. And she was obliged to love him through her tears for all eternity.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    September 14
    Edit | Reply
    Very good. It kept my attention. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest!


  • lesbian-in-love
    August 23
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting write. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • FreakshowAkaChristy
    August 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. More goosebumps! This idea is so... powerful. It's like I truly cannot take sides. To say who was in the wrong and who was in the right. They were both wrong, in a sense. Then at the same time, it is not her fault for not loving. And she tried to stop him. And was it so wrong for him to simply want to please the woman his heart longed for? Very interesting concept. I know this story will be on my mind all day now, lol. Thank you so much for sharing it with me by posting.

    • Minorchar
      August 7
      Edit | Reply
      Again, thanks very much. I do try for ambiguity, and sometimes it works.


  • amanda vampiress silver member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, what a very wicked ending! This was rather interesting. I thought you did well to choose such a concept. I liked that your story contained well rounded characters and a touch -if not more- of poetic prose. This piece also had very clear and elaborate descriptions. Good work! Thank you for following the rules and for entering my contest!

1 - 5 of 5