I wanted to light up a cigarette. To see flames dancing just above my fingertips, licking the air with their tongues. I felt an arm around my waist.1
"It's okay" he cooed gently into my ear.2
I shrugged him off and sat down at the edge of the mountain, my legs almost collapsing underneath me.3
"I wrote this poem today."4
"Did you?" He surveyed the view, pretending not to ignore me.5
A sigh escaped my throat. He giggled a bit, in a sort of helpless way. Some lines from an old Robbie Williams song began to circle in my head.6
"I do care, you know."7
All I could think to say was: 'you think that I'm strong, you're wrong, you're wrong'.8
"And I read your poems. They're good. You're a good writer."9
I studied my fingernails.10
"Thank you." I tucked a loose piece of skirt back under my legs.11
A ham sandwich with pickle was produced with a flourish. I imagined the process of making bread: small granules tightly pounded together, then crushed and flattened into something soft, smooth and wholesome. They probably don't make bread like that, but I'd been to a mill once. I was allowed to have an imagination then.12
"This is nice isn't it?" He coughed nervously. "Away from it all."13
What he really meant was he was glad his friends couldn't see us. It was an eccentricity, a weakness, to give a girl like me attention. Unless, of course, you were angling for something else entirely in return.14
All I could have prayed for was that he actually did care about me in the same way that I cared about him. At times I almost believed he did. Even on a deserted mountain he was too embarrassed to say anything remotely beautiful to me. An arm gently shrugged from my waist was the closest we'd ever get to kissing.15
The perfection of the scene wasn't quite as overwhelming as I thought it would be. I glanced down at my fingertips and considered how delightful it would be to watch it all burn.16
Author notes
I meant to write something entirely different so bugger off. Editing.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow LOL this is a awsome read. You did a wonderful job on this story. Wonderful flow of words and the detail excellent. It was a pleasure to read.
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Lol, thanks. It is, isn't it? Barbie. Xx
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well this nade me think love is just so annoying. really beautiful delicate write
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Why thank you.
Barbie. Xx
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How did I miss this, it is Ms Barbie at her best, wow. Thank you. (let me see - Barbie grows her feelings, with class)
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P.S. I like cazaleena - it has a certain ring to it.
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Heh, why thank you my Sophie fairy.
I am deeply flattered and very very happy that you are commenting on me again. *Bows down at your greatness.* Love ya. Caz. Xx
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hey cazaleena,
I love the ending to this. The short-stories on here always seem to end so abruptly but yours has a point and ties back to the beginning perfectly.
nice work
much love
~Sophie -
Lol, thanks. Barbie. Xx
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this is really good. I like how she's not into the guy, and how she doesn't pay attention and stuff. This is really great
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Heh, that's quite a compliment. I don't think it's up to that standard but thanks for likening my short story to 'Rebecca'. Yes, I sometimes get much more interested in the little intricacies and forget what the story was about. That's why I generally can't ever finish a story. Anyhow, thank you. Barbie. Xx
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wow.
wow...this would be a really great start to a story but alone, it will do great as well. your writing style- it reminds me of another book that i just read, rebecca by daphne du maurier. you go into little intricacies that bring a personal touch to the story. wonderful and keep up the good work!
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