The door slid shut behind me as I entered the room and took a step to the right. I wasn't feeling well and my vision was hazy.1
Matt sat in the corner.2
"Come, sit down," he called. “The chair’s comfortable enough.”3
"Thanks."4
"Of course. So tell me, how have you been?"5
I plopped down. It wasn’t that comfortable. "I've been alright."6
"Alright’s good." Matt grinned and added, "It's not great though. What have you been up to these last few days?"7
"You should know,” I said, leaning my head to the side.8
"How would I know? I hardly see you."9
"You should still know."10
Matt scratched his throat as he looked around, noticing dim hanging lights and a caribou head to the right of us on the wall. "I'm sorry, it’s so smoky and dark in here,” he said. “I want to get out. Can we do that? Go someplace else?"11
I shook my head.12
"How come?"13
"Because we have to talk here."14
"Can we at least go outside?”15
"No." I looked towards a window across the room, unable to see out. "We have to talk here. Ask me why you don't know what's been going on with me again."16
"Okay, fine then.” Matt chuckled uneasily. “Why don’t I know what's been going on with you?"17
"Because you don't know."18
"That's not an answer." He smiled at a girl who brought him a drink.19
I smiled at her too, and watched her ignore me as she walked back through the doors. "The answer works for you though, doesn't it?" I asked Matt.20
"It doesn't,” he took a sip. “I don't know. This isn’t the right drink.” He struggled as he tried to move his feet to stand up.21
"Stay seated. It does work for you, right?"22
"Yeah, strangely... What are you trying to get out of this? Why did we have to meet here?"23
"You picked it. You brought us here, remember?"24
Matt blinked. "That's right, I did. But you weren't here when I came in. You came in late, and I don't remember you being in—" He bit his bottom lip. "You weren't in the car. Were you following me?"25
"I didn’t follow you."26
"Then how did you get here?"27
"The same way as you."28
"What do you mean?"29
"Ask me again how I am," I said.30
"How the hell are you?"31
"I'm alright." I took a breath. "I am just alright. And you should know why I’m
not great."32
"But I don't. How would I?"33
I pressed my knuckles into the edge of the table, grinding them. "Have you spent any time with me lately?” I asked. “Have you talked to me in these past weeks as much as you are now?”34
Matt only sat there, rubbing cracked hands, and I continued.35
"Had you been talking to me, you would know exactly how I got here. Furthermore, we wouldn't be here in this two-bit, shitty place with a pocked table and smoke in my eyes. We’d be safely at home. Probably chatting by a fire about our last ordeal, but you chose to ignore me."36
"I'm sorry."37
"No you're not. You tried your best to do so. You tried your best to shut me
up and turn me down, to wear out my voice—the only reminder that tells you what to do and how to get ready for it. The only thing that helps you to do all the crap you’ve been doing."38
"I've done nothing wrong." He began to rock in his chair.39
"Matt, you've murdered people, but now you're taking drugs. You brought us here to this room even if you don't remember it." I pointed. "Look at that dark window. You think the people there don't see you leaping up and bounding around? Fact is that you can't see them laughing at you."40
"No, they're not. And I'm not the one moving, you are." Matt tried to grip the bottom of the seat but found he couldn't. His arms were bound to the table, his elbows struggling against the bands tying them down.41
I scoffed. "Yes you are. And yes, they are. You're an experiment—an idiotic test-subject to see whether they can tear best friends apart."42
"You're not my best friend."43
"Oh come off yourself. You know I am. You know why I'm here."44
"No I don’t," he shouted. "Don’t you get that? I’ve no clue what the hell you’re talking about. Why am I strapped down? What happened to this place?” His head darted around. “Where’d the deer head go?”45
“Shut up—hold your breath. I’m talking.”46
Matt bit his lip and locked his chin against his chest. The corners of his mouth twitched like someone who can either not sustain a smile or is trying to keep from crying.47
I stared down at him, exhaled, and pushed a hand through my hair before resting it on my neck. I glanced at the window. I was exhausted and had no idea what they were doing back there. “Damn, man,” I said, standing up and walking behind my chair. “Your drug sucks, you know that?”48
“What drug?” He stopped rocking.49
“I don’t know its name. You really don’t remember anything?”50
Matt replied softly after taking another sip from his drink with a straw. “I haven’t murdered anyone.”51
“Why would I lie to you?”52
“Because you’re not my best friend.”53
“Who else am I, then?”54
“You’re a hindrance.”55
“Do you believe that, Matt?”56
“Yes. I want to go.”57
“You can’t go.”58
Matt rocked faster than before, the legs of the metal chair scraping against the floor, scratching the cement, reverberating in the now small room. He pressed his hands together, each finger matching with its opposite. The veins stood out on his forearms.59
“You can’t leave me, idiot.”60
“I want to go,” he screamed.61
“Shut up.”62
“It’s your fault.”63
“Shut up,” I said.64
“It’s your fault. It’s because of you that I’m here. You brought me here. You led me to be imprisoned by them. It’s because of you.”65
"You know you love me," I murmured.66
"Get out."67
"Not after what I've done for you. Not after how I’ve helped you. You know
you love me."68
“Get out.”69
“No.”70
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD."71
72
~0~73
74
I breathed heavily, panting with every exhalation. I tried to take another swallow from my drink but found it dry.75
The girl entered the room with another cup, and I looked up to her with sweat running down my face, dripping down my cheeks like tears from my eyes. 76
“Here’s some clean water,” she said.77
She saw the question I held.78
“He’s gone for now, Matthew.”79
Author notes
That was fun.
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Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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It's a really good story, especially the end! I enjoined reading it
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I'm not saying anything.
At all. Because I usually make useful comments. Or slightlu harsh comments. Or something. And now I can't point out anything. And I can't be harsh. So there. -
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Then why comment?
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In case you didn't get it, I'm being ~nice~, ~extremely nice~ when it comes to me.
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That confused me the entire time I was reading. I liked it though. Shows how weak the mind can be sometimes. Aside from the confusion, it was pretty good.
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yes! I love psychological stories, and there are not enough good ones around. Well done sir, well done.
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I was confused pretty much the whole time but I think that's what you meant for. It was easy to get into and fun to read. I liked how it was mainly dialouge, a nice change from the major descriptions I read around here. Nice job!
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You gave just enough detail and info. It was great. an awsome second chapter. I'm really looking forward to the third. keep up the writting. I know some of my comments maybe sounding the same, but its just so hard to find the words to give you the props you deserve for your great writting. I love reading all your stories. They have great plots. Great detail. Great amount of info. there all so perfect and you still they are so awsome. You have telent my good canadian friend. great great talent. Keep it up and it will take you places. Or so I have heard. I'm only 13 so I wouldn;t know. I still look forward for the rest of the chaters. You shoudl keep it up.!
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Enjoyed it
I enjoyed your story.
You successfully build a tension through the dialog and I found myself anticipating a meaty conclusion. I was just a little disappointed on how it ended. I'm guessing the story is about about a man battling psychosis. If that's true, I think one or two more sentences that nudged me there would have helped.
In paragraph 17, I might have used the contraction don't instead of saying Why do I not know; just a thought -
That was very dramatical. I loves it. I was confused at first about what was going on really. But it was very easy to get into. I hope you intend to write more of this. I am sure it would turn nicely into a short story. I loved you detail and imagination it was very intense and emotional at the same time. Very creative. I did not spot any errors but I was to enthrawled in the story to notice much lol.
Again very nice.beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Thumbs up!
In my stories,I avoid dialogue as much as possible, but you my friend...You can churn up some serious talk. Kept me interested all the way, but as others have mentioned, it is a little bit confusing at the end. -
Shoot. I have no idea what just happened. Hold on...
Okay, I reread it and it makes sense now
that was really interesting, and I found myself getting confused just like the main character with the "best friend" playing all those dumb mind games lmao those were good 
I really liked this; a cool plot with some mystique and animosity... Great write! 
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This was what I was looking for - it is quite good and demonstrates an effective use of both dialogue and narrative. The twist at the end makes this piece both intriguing and interesting.
Thank you for your entry in this contest.
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Hm, I read this before and it was different. Odd. Although, admittedly I like this one better. It makes use of both dialogue and description to tell the stair. Love the concept by the way! The climax rises to a huge pop!
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Yeah, it's probably been edited since you read it last. Thanks for the comment
Is there anything wrong in it though? I feel as if there's something calling out, but I don't know where or when...
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Thast really cool Awesome idea
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