Let Him Burn

Now;1

Sitting across from your heartless body made me feel… triumphant. You slouch in your chair, eyes white in fear. Your skin is blackened, dark as night. Your life isn’t the same anymore after what I’ve done to you, nor will it ever be. But, it isn’t like I had anything against you. I just have the devil’s doing on my hands now. 2

Then;3

Hallways lead left and right and straight, your heart pounding in your chest. Your blood racing through your veins, screaming at you to run, run. You found yourself frozen, though. Your head was calm, cold in your skull. You were feeling a mixture of emotions; fear, anxiety, warmth, and relaxation. 4

I called down to you, in a sing-songy voice, beaconing you to come to me. You seemed to fear my words, but welcome them completely. You came to me with a terrified face, for it twisted around in the site of me again. A smug smile was pulled onto my face, though I felt no happiness. What I felt was indescribable. This feeling was put into my body by someone with a greater power than I. 5

Now;6

I was leaving now, setting a note by you. I now pull my coat around myself and pull my eyes away from you, regretfully. I felt remorse now that I was leaving you. But, I knew I had to leave you behind or the devil’s unforgiveable heart would take me with you. I step away from the table, taking a last look at your bruised and brunt body. 7

Then; 8

You lay at my feet, dying. I closed my eyes, trying not to watch in torture of this poor boy. Screams were more than this body could take, I turned away now. Then, I saw what I was being defined by. It was a monster, now. It was horrid. It was the devil’s pure breed. 9

It’s mouth was a shade of blue, a bruised face and arms, and tangled hair. Its clothes were torn and dirty, browned and blackened. I turned away from the mirror that hung, hanging my head. I had become what I had feared the most. 10

Now; 11

The rain drizzles around my head, and washes the dirt from my pale skin. I stand at the curb, and stare into a puddle at my reflection. “What have you become?” I whisper, wishing the monster would go away. I have become what you were; an abuser.12

Then; 13

I didn’t want it to end this way, truly. I only wish you had known why of my doings of my ways. I couldn’t take your abuse anymore, you had pushed me to my limits. I stared down at you, breathing as the smell of you drifted towards me slowly. 14

The devil spoke to me, then, telling me I had returned his favor. He had be wanting this death all along. You deserved it. My head believed the devil’s words, nodding to his done deed. But my heart longed to bring you back. 15

Now; 16

Tears began to roll down my cheeks, mixing with the fallen rain. I heard footsteps, whispers, and snickers around me. Not just one person, but millions. And they all mocked me, the way I look, the way I smell, and the way I now must live. The devil’s voice came to me again, whispering to me softly, “Let him burn.” 17

Author notes

This is, by far, the strangest thing I have ever written. Please tell me what you think.

For contest, "Hatred and Revenge", I picked hte following categories...
~Hatred
~Anger
~Revenge
~Pain(both physical and mental)
~Descent into madness
Hope I gave you what you were looking for!

My favorite song is "Beautiful Day" by U2

Fate tells you never to play with fire.

"I am a Chicken."

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • Schnitzel
    September 28

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry but I got kinda lost, I just don't think this is my type of story the wording, and plot seems to be good though!!!

    Thank you for entering my contest, Schnitzel


  • seasonsoflove
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is awesome!!

    Plot: 4
    Language: 3
    Theme: 3
    Brownie Points: 2 (for desperation)

    Total: 12

    Good work here. Love the alternating between then and now. Keep up the amazing work!!


  • BrokenOnyxMoonlight
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Good job, and i would like to see more of your works in the near future, so well done and good luck


  • EverRose
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    Sa-weet!!!!! This actually was VERY strange, and freaked me out a ton! But that's good...because that's one of the things I was looking for! It was so sad! It made me want to bring tears to my eyes! Poor boy..and I really like your writing style. Super dee duper unique, and I very much like this! It was scary..but really awesome. Keep writing.

    Great entry and thanks for entering my contest!
    -Rose


  • Asfand
    July 28
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, now this was a unique entry. I like your style! Nice!

    Anyway, thanks for entering!

    Great job, this certainly was very nice!

    Good luck!

    Asfand


  • Izark
    July 26
    Edit | Reply
    wow all of what you have wrote, i did not stop reading until the end(smile)


  • Andiness
    July 24

    Edit | Reply
    You write very well you know that? I could really feel this one and I read the last paragraph twice actually. I love how you did the "Now" "Then" sort of thing, that really did add to the overall effect of the story

    Andi


    • VioletConcept
      July 24
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading! I was suprized how weird this actually turned out, and it scared me a bit to know I did write this. O.o I think I've gone crazy, maybe. Thankies for reading, again...

      -Vio

  • Kismet Krazy
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    This was very interesting. I liked the concept. Its like the fight between good and evil inside a person. Great job with this. amazing discription and beleiveable emotions. wonderful. Keep it up.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Kagamine Rin
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    A nice read and very descriptive, emotional as well. I like this, VC. :3


  • andhearts. ox
    July 9
    Edit | Reply
    Well done. A good read.


  • Dual.Of.Fireflies
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Good job! This was a really good story! I enjoyed it very much at parts, but some parts kinda... Bored me. So sorry! Good story, though!


  • Marisalyn13
    July 2
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting story. Good job, good luck, and thanks for entering!


  • PeriwinkleTheory
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    I love this and its very interesting. I didn't kno you had this kind of thing in you lol kudos!!


  • Le Masquerade silver member
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    That was quite an interesting story and I enjoyed it. I was even a little scared by the end so you did a good job thanx for entering my competiton.


  • Dual.Of.Fireflies
    June 24
    Edit | Reply


  • welshsparky77
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    Very strange, but very good also.
    Good imagery and an interesting way of telling the story.
    Well done.


  • colinlinder
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    Definitely original. I don't think I have read anything quite like this before and that is a good thing to be able to say
    Thanks for entering my contest


  • AnotherGranted..
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! I didnt know you could write this kind of stuff! This was creepy in a very good way! I love it! One of your greatest works, Kyn! Good luck in the contests!

    -Linds


  • Dual.Of.Fireflies
    June 21
    Edit | Reply
    I WANT MORE! GOOD!!!


  • Intoxica
    June 21
    Edit | Reply
    An interestig structure. Good work!


  • DylanBranson
    June 20
    Edit | Reply
    This was pretty interesting. It reminds me a bit of Faulkner's style of writing. Good job!


  • Juniper Cran
    June 20
    Edit | Reply

    One Word...

    CHEERS!
    That was great! Interestingly written but very well done at it.


    • VioletConcept
      June 20
      Edit | Reply
      Wow, thanks. I wasn't sure about this one. Thanks a lot for reading!

      -Vio


  • LilyFate
    June 20

    Edit | Reply

    I love it.

    ahhh sorry clicked enter, But its very well writen. And yeah... Great Job chickey... unless you are a guy then great job.... Boy chickey? Idk. But Good luck in my contest!




    -LilyFate

1 - 26 of 26