Steeling eyes

I won't bore you with the details of my everyday life. They don't matter. All you need to know about me is that I'm a therapist, a woman, and a New Yorker, maybe not even that much.1

Anyway, to get on with my story. I've always lived a fairly average life, but things, things have started happening to me. Most people who have episodes will tell you they don't know when or where they started. I can pinpoint the minute of the hour of the day that I was first hit.2

I was sitting in a coffee shop. I don't remember which shop and I don't remember what I was drinking. A women walked by. She looked at me. I felt her gaze pierce me and her eyes, oh god her eyes, they were deep and soulful, yet some of the coldest I'd ever seen. Her eyes seemed to speak to me, telling me of some horror. She looked away and walked by. That's when the trouble started. I can't remember anything after that. It's completely gone until about three hours after I had sat down in that coffee shop.3

Of course I was terribly freaked out. I made a doctors appointment that day. Well that didn't make much difference. He just told me I was probably too stressed and to take a few days off. 4

I did. Afterward I thought things were going great, but then, about a month later I had another episode. This time in a grocery store. Another woman, another pair of soulful, cold eyes. This time I awoke a day later. I don't know what happened to the groceries I had in my cart, but they didn't end up in my fridge.5

So back I went, to my doctor. I was really scared, god only know what could be wrong with me, hell, I could have had a tumor! He ordered a CAT scan. There was nothing wrong with my head, at least not structurally. Damn, no answer.6

They didn't stop, and their severity increased. Sometimes I'd miss days, sometimes weeks. I saw so many doctors, but never got any answers. The trigger, it was always a woman with piercing, deep, cold eyes.7

I don't know why this is happening to me. Perhaps it's some sort of cosmic joke. Maybe the therapist is going crazy? Funny, but I don't feel like laughing. I don't know what is to become of me. My time is slipping away. I have more and more episodes. How long until I completely lose my lucidity? I feel that the only way I can combat this is by shutting myself off from human contact, but I couldn't bare to do that. So it would seem that I am doomed.8

So I wait, tick tock, tick tock, waiting like a caged tiger, until I completely lose myself.