Within these four walls, there is nothing
I search every corner and there is no escape
I yell at the door, screaming all day long that I am sane1
They don’t understand, I keep muttering to myself
I pace back and forth, trying to understand why they don’t get it
They are the insane ones2
They do not see the people in this room
It’s so crowded in here that I can barely move
They do not hear their screams for desperate help
I feel like I’m going deaf with all the noise3
I’m the sane person held hostage by insane people
I hear them talking outside the door right now
They say I’m crazy and need to be put down
I laughed so hard. They are confused, you see?4
They talk about me as though I am an animal
Being put down? Tears of laughter turned to tears of terror5
I screamed when I saw them open the door
I tried to run away from them
but all the people in the room were holding me down
I see the needle in their gloved hand
This is murder6
I’m sane, I screamed repeatedly
I tried to raise my hands but the pretty, white jacket with black buckles
That they gave me was too tight
They told me it was the new fashion
Having your arms held tightly against your body7
I believed them
That was before I knew they were insane
More of those scary lab-coated people came through the door8
Two of them held me down. Useless really.
They couldn’t see the people that I saw holding me down
The guys started whispering evil things to me9
You are a disease. You are infecting everyone with your craziness
I wanted to yell but they covered my mouth10
They stabbed me in the stomach and injected the evil poison
My vision bleared and I saw a white light
But before I went through it, I heard them asking,11
"Where did all these people come from?"
Author notes
This is my usual twisted, strange, and confusing poems. I find regular poems boring. So of course I like to add some spice to it and make you think.
It's working isn't it? lol, most of my poems stand out from all the others. Thanks to Edgar Allan Poe, he inspired me to go darker in my poems.
Category: Poem for contest
In a list
- The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by Unice the geek.
160 points, ended June 24, 59 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poems - Join! by Unice the geek.
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• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want your best...POEMS!!! by Le Masquerade.
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Honorable mention
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Comments
1 - 55 of 55
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Hmmm...so they are crazy as well...Interesting, yeah i loved this verrry much lol don't know why i haven't read it before
Your work is so so SO cool lol
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Hm, I love it. I really love the ending. Thank you for submitting this wonderful and sadistic poem, lol.
Very weird. Not gruesome, but cruel. I always thought that the people were insane, not the ones locked up. Well, they are insane, but putting them in a safe enviroment room is going to make them even more crazier.
Lol, thanks for entering and I hope to see more of your peoms very soon!
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lol, i read this one too! I found my aunty from the asylum! (sw aunty) lol i luuuuuurve this! hehehe
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Big OOPS!! lol I need to pay more attention who has read what.
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ooooo...my aunty escaped from the asylum jks...haha awesome write tho!
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Thanks. ^_^ glad you enjoyed it and thanks for hosting the contest.
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Very dark and sinister! >:0
The descriptive and sadistic pain the reader, me, has to read makes me happy... XD
I like it. -
I thought this poem was just the right amount of dark. It's dismal and really gives you the feeling of being trapped within a padded room. You feel claustrophobic due to the room and the "people" that fill it.
The descriptions were well done, adding a sense of paranoia and futility. And I liked the ending, it made you wonder if the doctors had become "infected" by the insanity. I liked how you made it a disease, not a mental state. A great poem, and another great work from you.
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Thanks for reading.
this one took me longer to write than usual. Orginally this poem was a lot longer but it didn't have the right feeling so I cut it down. I think it actually looks a lot better.
I actually did visited an asylum. Of course the people don't kill the patience or anything (that's just my own twisted mind) bit it really got me thinking. Some of the patients didn't even look insane and some of them didn't even act it. It was bizarre. So it kind of inspired me to wrote this. -
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That sounds like a disturbing experience. And I understand how that would inspire you. It would make me wonder if some of the people in there really need to be there.
If you want to read up about a real asylum that is disturbing and terrifying, look up Danvers State Hospital. I read about in a book I have called Weird US. -
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Oh thank you. I'll definitely check that out.
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Of boy I think this is one of my favorite poems of yours. So in the very end the people are starting to see the "people" that the insane woman was seeing? So that would mean they are turning insane like they caught the disease. Just like you said. Wow extremely cool and wicked.
Love you.
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Lol. I'm glad you caught on smart one. This one is one of my tricker poems. More twists in this. Glad you got to read it.
love you too.
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hehehe! Cool idea. I think everyone must have been slightly insane in this poem...I mean when is a straigh jacket ever in fashion? hehehe
Thank you for entering my competition
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Love it!
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Again, great story but the POETRY section was REMOVED! Five people entered it. Try to enter another story.
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Hmm...
This is very dark. I enjoyed it though. It makes me think, yes. But it also confuses me. Why was she in the insane asylum? Was she really insane? Or was she just a regular person? How can anyone judge if she was really insane or not? She asked so many questions. She screamed that she was sane. Why did she think that they were insane? Whey did they think that she was insane? Why where they asking where they came from? How do you know what goes on in an insane asylum? Have you ever been in one? Other than those questions, I thought it was rather good.
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Glad it made you think and have questions. This poem was in the point of view of an insane person. You know how sane people don't think they are insane and watch other people and judge if other people are sane or insane? Take it from an insane person's point of view. I don't think an insane person would think that they were insane. She would think the people holding her where insane for holding a "sane" person in the asylum.
The people thought she was insane because she was hearing voices and were seeing people in the room that weren't actually there.
I actually have been in an asylum once My grandfather worked in one. This poem isn't really accurate in that perspective. They don't kill their patience. (that was just
for my twisted poem). I have seen with my own eyes how insane people acted.
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Very creepy...
...as it almost instills a sense of hopelessness. I've always thought that when a person loses hope it was the scariest thing of all.
Great warped sense of perception, from the twisted view of the protagonist. This really made me blink and look harder, as it drew me in.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Wow...that was twisted...and dark. It really gives the reader a whole new perspective on people that are considered insane. Certainly gives me a new perspective on what it means to be sane.
You're descriptions were done really well. I loved the language you used. It was hard and visceral. It really made me feel like I was right there in that room.
Great poem here. It really made me think.
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I have always wondered what the insane person's point of view would be. It makes you wonder how many of them think that they are normal and we are the insane ones. How can anyone judge who's sane and who's not?
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I could very much relate to everything in this poem. I liked how it was in the point of view of the insane one. It makes things more interesting that way.
Great job. -
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Thank you, thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. ^_^
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You did fairly well on this, good luck in the competition! This was a very good story. i hope to see more of your work very soon.
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Thanks. ^_^
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Very good. i could really relate to the character because i was locked up in St. mercy mental Hospital.
Jk. Great story!!!
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Lol, really? I wonder how you got out.
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Nice, good idea to put the POV inside the head of a crazy person. Isn't that how we all see the world? I'm not the crazy one, everyone else is.
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Good Job
Nicly done, so the guy inside the cell thinks the doctors who work in the asylum are crazy and then they eventuly kill him.
am i getting that right? -
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Yup I do believe you got that right. I thought it would make an interesting poem if it was in the insane person's point of view on things.
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Woah! This is really crazy. Very nicely done! You really get the emotions through to the reader very strongly. The only thing I suggest would be to change "They do not hear their screams for desperate help" in paragraph 3 to "They do not hear their desperate screams for help". But, it's your poem, so you don't ave to listen to anything that anyone else may tell you. They're your feelings.
Anyway, I love it. Great job!
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wow!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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Thanks! ^_^ I love it when people love it
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Excellent !
It was Excellent and and very interesting ..
Very Good depth and imagination =)
1000 thumbs up ..
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Sweet!! I get 1000 thumbs up!! Alright that is totally better than 999 thumbs up. Most thumbs up I have ever gotten in my life. I feel like I won a trophy. I don't know what to say. I'm so shocked to my core. Wow, thank you.
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Great stuff!!!
Strong narrative, rhythm & flow with great imagery & depth that made for a compelling read & enthralled throughout...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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Thank you for your lovely compliments. I try really hard not to write anything that
totally sucks. I think I'm doing pretty good
so far.
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lol, now look what you´re doing, you´re making me read poems ... and actually like them. that´s quite a feat.
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Haha. My poems are not the normal mushy, gooshy, sappy, make you fall asleep kind of poems. Those difinitely bore my to tears. I prefer horror, insane people, a little action, a pinch of drama, and some little twist and turns to it. Now that's what I call an interesting poem.
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Well, I normally never read poetry. So I´d call yours quite a success in the interesting department.
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sweet! Im in the interesting department. I was afraid I would be in the next department right next to it, The boring poems trying to be interesting department. *wipes forehead in relief* dodge that bullet. lol
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This was well written and I thought you described this to a capital T.
Don't do use the jackets anymore but when I was working there they did and well they still tackle the person and inject them with medicine , and well the walls are four like you said and now they inject in the arm area but you brought back memories and you did this well, almost like being there and feeling things from the other-side. Eerie.
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Thanks. I hope it wasn't bad memories that I brought back for you. That wouldn't be too good, I don't think. This poem has been bouncing around and bugging me for a while now do I wanted to finish and be done with it. It makes me wonder how many of those "insane" people are actually sane and are just misunderstood. I think that was the main reason I wrote this poem.
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this is good.
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Really good reminded me of the saying "A sick man in a sick society is sane." Really well written. All the ppl who are in the room are not real there just in the narrators head. Great job never stop writeing I expecially like the lines
tried to raise my hands but the pretty, white jacket with black buckles
That they gave me was too tight
They told me it was the new fashion
Having your arms held tightly against your body7
I believed them
agian good job
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*bows* thank you humble reader. I think I would have believed them too if they said the strait jacket was the new fashion.
Lol, actually i think strait jackets are pretty neat. Yeah the people were all in her head except the lab-coated people. lol, thought it would make a good poem/really short story. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Not a problem zak
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Wow this is weird but good!! It's realy sad though, it must be yuck having sum1 lyk that pushing you dwn when they inject you with stuff lol. Hahaha i lyk it
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yeah i don't think she was all that thrilled to be held down by the people she 'saw' in the room and also being held down by the lab-coated guys. lol
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Hahaha it reminds me of being at tha authordontist lol
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lol. Now that you mention that i can perfectly picture myself being held down on a chair screaming, "Stay away from me before I poke you in the eye with one of your tools." Funny, I actually have a dental appoinment next week. I better keep a close eye on them.
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hahahaha poor u :-( I went last week but luckily she didn't spend that much time in my mouth :-) Yea, threatin them with their own drills lol
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I'm sure if you watch the six o'clock news sometime next week, you'll see me holding their drills in my hand and screaming, "I'm sane! Stay away from my mouth you crazy mouth-killers." Then the SWAT team will come in and shoot me in the ass with a dart.
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lol yea i'll look out for it :-) I'm so gonna think of that tha nxt tyme I'm at tha dentist hahaha
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lol, yeah this poem and conversation will definitley be playing through my head as they attempt drill into my teeth.
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