Picture, if you will, a winding country road. Two lanes, no passing, because this road dips and curves around rugged stone outcroppings. The stone has made the building of this road a monumental feat in itself. Looking past the concrete barricades that make their regular appearance on the roadside nearest the drop off, you are rewarded with a view that stops the breath in your chest. 1
The rock wall drops, almost vertically, down and down and down into a raging ribbon of white water far below you. Up close, this is a large river, savagely eating away at the stone with encloses and guides its fury. From the vantage point of the road, it appears as wide as that yellow line bisecting the asphalt beneath your feet. Even in this regal and harsh environment, plants manage to survive. Tough gnarled pine trees have wedged their roots into cracks in the great grey mountainside, and they grow, stunted and twisted by the elemental power that surrounds them. 2
Looking to the other side of the road, and up, there is more of the implacable grey stone, and then, far above your head, there is green. The mountain is flat topped, and grasses wave flauntingly with the breeze, beneath the massive fir trees that guard the lip of the gorge like sentries, their massive curling roots seeming to caress the canyon edge like a lover. Nothing can be heard, except the faint roar of the river beneath you, and the whispering of branches and grasses in the fitful breeze. It is a rugged, infinitely wild landscape, and yet it is somehow calming. The sun is near the zenith of it's daily journey, hanging in the air, a golden disk against the intense blue of the sky. A golden eagle appears, gliding silently, like a ghost through the canyon, upon the thermals rising from both blacktop and stone that fuel his majestic flight. He emits a shrieking call, to thrill you, and your heart shrills in your chest at the sound of that haunting cry, and then he continues on his way, floating effortlessly on down the gorge.3
Suddenly, another sound is heard, not entirely unlike the chilling call of the eagle. Similar, but different, this is the sound of soft rubber tires loosing their grip and skipping across the tarmac. The squealing grows louder, and you realize with sudden shock that the sound is coming from around the hairpin corner that lies to your left. As you turn and prepare to run, the out of control car appears, and for a moment you are held immobile by the terrible power and brutal beauty of the runaway automobile. It is a sleek, black lotus sports car. The details of this vehicle are etched into your memory, and time seems to slow down as the menacing black behemoth races towards you. The curves and lines of the beautiful car, the sounds of the screaming high performance engine and the skidding tires, the smell of the rubber on the tarmac are all burned into your memory in the tiny section of time between when you first see the car, and when it careens headlong into the barricade. 4
The curvaceous car is then ripped apart, mutilated beyond recognition. The fiberglass body is shattered on impact, fenders and hood splintering. As the front end of the car rides up on the barricade, the sound of the front axle snapping is like breaking bone. The car then rolls off the concrete and steel barricade, where it leaves smears of black paint and powdered fiberglass, and somehow comes to rest on its roof in the ditch on the opposite side of the road, leaving a trail of broken glass and smeared black paint in its wake. This has all occurred in seconds, and you find yourself trembling as the effect of what you have just seen sinks in fully.5
Everything is quiet now, the only evidence of the chaos that occurred only moments before is in a wheel, bent at an odd angle from the broken front axle, that is still spinning. It creaks slightly, and spins with all the force that the car's now dead engine could provide, just like your mind as the events you have witnessed crystallize within it.6
Author notes
I was trying to sleep a few nights back, but my mind was racing with all these different thoughts following each other around like carousel horses. For some reason I got a picture in my head of the spinning wheel on the broken axel, and the rest kinda went from there. Who says being worried about someone can't cause creativity?
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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hmmmmm me thinks you're crazy...it's still really good, tho. I finally wrote a story, but this thing really confuses me, I figured it'd be the same as writing a poem but it makes you go to some other weird...thing...yeah.
beginning: 5, overall: 9, ending: 5.
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Another well written piece. Great imagery.
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A life is a poem.
It is really a great description of the thoughts which requires a great poet skill to knitt them so beautifully,.. bringing them a sense of curiosity through and through is an another area of its achievements. The thoughts are witnessing the unforgetable momments of life too. The intenisty level is just machless to highlight its worth. The flow of the write is really impressive. I really appreciate this work..prabhudayal khattar -
Loved the imagery you put forth with your words
bravo to you for holding my thoughts
FrozenTears -
all i can say is that i complimented it keep up the great work
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Beautiful imagery. It reminded me of what I think the Irish country side would look like. But I must say, for the first half of this, I was wonder if there would be some sort of plot-ish-ness to this. It was very different than I expected. Great write.
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ahh wow
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Bravo!
A picture is worth a thousand words one could write. Very interesting with the metaphors in this story. Surprising but a good ending. Take care, Lissa -
Sorry the E on my key board seems to be a bit sticky, please mentally add Es to all word that need them!!!
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A very vivid scene emerges as you read this piece, well done you paint th picture wll, it is almost like watching it on film.
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very amazing imagery...the use of words play with your mind...excellent metaphors... wonderful comparisons... and the bit about the eagle added a perfect touch to it, in my opinion. i love the details...i can actually believe that im witnessing the whole thing. it is so real... very excellent work. definately among the best in my book!! keep up the great work!!!
~Kariime~ -
I definitely thought I was going somewhere else with the very graphic descriptions, but the change made it all the better - it caught me by surprise. This is a good piece, you have written it well.
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Very visual, a breathe taking ride. Odd how the other charactes don't come into play as would be expected, but the expected sucks, always surprise the reader any way possible
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18 old applause
