In the Loss of Lynne

Joseph just didn't care anymore. His heart worn by what life had brought to him. He missed everything/everyone that he loved so much-though he realized he couldn't change a thing. Or at least he let himself think. 1

He got himself off the street. It's been quite a few years since he was in that route. He really only missed the freedom that that life posed itself to be. He was using the money from his grandfathers will. no matter how much evil he thought his blood held, he had no loss in using them. It was his way of pissing on his grandfather- which whom he had no respect for. 2

He took the $500 a month, and transformed it from the bitterness of his memories- to a restaurant that he always dreamed of. He opened his 'KAYWUD'S'! To him it was nothing like anything before. It was a limiting menu like most restaurants. he learned that from his time in owning and operating McDonald's and Burger Kings! Though he turned over his franchises to those who employed the places. It was a radical move on his part. he just asked them to continue to give back to their community, and continue to build it up. He built a swimming pool, free to the residents. He operated a gym also in the restaurants themselves. He mandated nothing, except in the actions of what he did. Everyone thought Joseph was crazy, though he was on his own solid path.3

Though no matter what he did, he just was never satisfied. Though it was never in Joseph to be ever satisfied. If he became satisfied, he always considered that a death. He would never give in to such mundanes and dullen fractured thoughts- which only left him bitter.4

He made those in his old franchise sign an agreement. he was still the owner- by paper. Though he didn't profit any. They all got $14 an hour. In the profits they made(because they had 10 stores in a radius of 100 miles) they would give back to the community. The area of the inner streets of Cleveland, have been left to rot- for more then fifty years. Though Josephs life had been birthed in Cleveland. So he felt the need to give back. 5

He chose not to be a business man like his grandfather, He saw it only as emptiness. He wanted more then some false riches for himself. He has felt an uneasiness with the limitations and greed of the monetary system of capitalism. His ultimate goal was to destroy money. Though he himself was as limited as the rest of the clowns that dwelled with in it. Though he did what he could to piss on the chains to set himself free from the grip of money.6

He always kept on eye on his franchises. So that way they would continue to run smoothly- and it gave him the capital to start Kaywud- and a few other things. Kaywud was his dream come true. It was a place for all. He was going to reduce caviar to paper plates, and dogg food to golden plates. Though he knew everyone who come to his place would enjoy it. There would be something in the atmosphere that they all would enjoy and love. 7

The backbone of kaywud was that he would bring all the classes together. though with the beauty of his food, the entire class system would be destroyed with each bite. There would be the poorest of the poor sitting next to the elite of the elite. So on and so forth. Though in the enjoyment of the pleasant and freeing of the surroundings, they wouldn't even know. In some cases, they sit and talk- and so many wouldn't even notice their own class. No one would be able to throw up their noses, or even look down upon someone. It would be a stage that would guarantee the truth of humanity, in all it's spectacular beauty-beyond our present pity and disgust(of each other, and our limiting self's!)8

Joseph would play with their taste buds, as they would be startled to began to illuminate their minds and souls- beyond the cages of their barren hearts. He would use all the 'fancy' names that the elite are so drawn to. Though in most cases it would only be dog/cat food on a golden plate. He worked with in the menu, to fit into a family's budget. He understood that it might be their only all week to sit as a family- laugh and joke. He also remembered what it was to be homeless and poor. What it took just to get a few dollars by the end of the day. He knew it was his duty to accommodate to every ones palate and pocket.9

There would be books and art laying across the wall. One whole with an canvas- that he have to change everyday. He left it blank at opening, and let people-whomever- just fill it in with what ever they wanted. Some would add, and some would take away. There is no limit to the imagination. For all hold unimaginable gifts- beyond what is given by their situations. 10

Anyone could sit anywhere. That was the idea of his vision. It was also the illusion. Just as people paid to get into see the show in one of the rooms, others would be able to sit and listen to it for free. It would probably have angered a few who noticed, but they themselves could have sat there themselves. 11

With whatever food was being wasted. It was all thrown into a garbage can- all together. For every time it was almost filled, it was placed into the freezer or fridge. It was a very simple and stringent rule of Joseph. Sometimes it would be placed into a soup and given back out to the public-though most times it just went out as a stew to feed the poor.12

Joseph has the innate feel of the common wealth towards the streets. He knows that most preachers lie, and only do their 'good' out of the snobbering of their pity. Though he gets most of his workers from the shelters. He knows he'll at least get some hard workers- for the homeless are the most hard working group of people Joseph has ever met. 13

Everyone from the dishwashers downtown the manager gets the same wage. He knows at a point they would start to talk, and converse about their wage. No matter what is given in check, it will never be enough to a worker. Though without a worker their would never be a business, no matter whatever the idea inhaled/entailed. That is the limit to all of the business world. The ultimate selfishness of greed. Of which he Joseph revokes, never wanting to be in his grandfathers shadow. 14

Even in the moments when a manager might revolt(because it is only Joseph who can though the books. Only he knows what each person gets. Just as only Joseph takes out the trash after everyone has gone. He knows all the mind sets a worker can have. He was once a worker himself. He dreamt of better things, as he drudged lbs boxes of meat patties across the highway to his home on Fairfield- off of west Th. He knew what each person was capable of, and he didn't want what he did to be done to him.) he let them have their raise, though just give it to everyone. In every ones complaint they wouldn't even notice, when they were buying that extra CD or able to actually pay rent on time. 15

though in all this all just stemmed from Joseph's misery without Lynne. He missed her everyday of his waking and sleeping hours. He just withdrew within himself, and the misery he kept-even within his smile. He vomited it all in his writing, films,art and restaurants. Though just really sitting and waiting for death to free him from his personal enslavement. Though to him 'kaywud' would always be his greatest creation. It was his love for Lynne that dragged it out of him. Even in her silence, she still held Joseph to his best. That is his love- for love does not have to be only physical. Two people can enjoy each other even when they lay so far apart. Love is not limited by flesh alone- though that is the limitation of our human ego and selfish self centeredness. 16

'You know how they say once you've hit you're lowest place to go there's no where left to go but up? That's a lie, sure you can't go down but you can remain stationary, never going any where in life. That's where I am right now.' Joseph would always say as he stares at his cherished fathers day card from his daughter Marie. 'No matter what, that's how it will always be.'17