1
I had a dream. In the dream, I was walking through the woods. My name is Drake. I am sixteen years old. I have pale white skin and my eyes are nearly as dark as my black hair. I had this dream three years ago. Anyway, while I was walking through the woods, I saw a kitten. I don't know why a small little kitten was wandering around in the woods but the moment I laid eyes on him I just knew I had to pick him up and help him find his way home. He was white with brown stripes and he was so small and cute and fluffy... so I walked over to the kitten and just as I was about to pick him up, flames spread all around him. I was confused for a minute until I realised the flames were coming from me. The heat I felt spreading from my fingertips, bubbling under my skin and seeping slowly through my body, was so real even though I was dreaming. It was horrific. Flames spread all around me and soon the whole forest was alight, but I did not leave. I needed to save the helpless little kitten. But what could I do? I could not touch him for my skin would burn him and he would die. I could not make some sort of trail for everything was on fire except the small circle around the kitten. I could not really do anything. I started to panic. I didn't know what to do. My brain knew this was a dream but I didn't care. I fell to my knees as the small circle was engulfed in flames. I felt like crying but the tears just evaporated off my skin in an instant so I just sobbed tearlessly. Then all of a sudden the flames withdrew. I felt a coolness come over me. Tears poured down my cheeks. I looked to see if the kitten was okay. Luckily he was rolling around happily. I smiled and reached over but a hand came in front of me and picked up the kitten. I looked up confused. A girl about the same age as me stood with the kitten in her hand. She had long brown straight hair and brown eyes. She was wearing Indian sort of clothes, she was also very very beautiful.23
"Her name is Tammy," she said to me.45
"I..er...thought it was a boy," I said looking down. 67
"Oh I think if she knew that it would hurt her feelings," she said. 89
I kept my eyes cast down for a few seconds and looked up, I was preparing to speak but the girl was already walking away in the distance. 1011
"Hey, wait!" I called, but she was already gone.1213
1415
I woke up that day and smiled but it went away just as quick. My whole house had burnt down. I was just lying in a pile of dirt. I looked around but couldn't see anything. I didn't know where my mother and father were. Even my dog was gone. Then I heard sirens. 16
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
When you write about having a dream, the nice thing is things don't really have to make sense. Dreams don't usually make sense. But when in your story you awaken and it's no longer a dream, it does need to make sense. And sleeping through your house burning down around you is just not believable.
Maybe your protaganist wakes up AS the house is burning around her? -
woah!
interesting and very original
-
Well.
It's sort of interesting. How exactly, though, does one sleep through of fire? What is the meaning of the kitten and the girl? Is it supposed to be symbolic? It's rather confusing at best. Keep writing, though!beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 2, ending: 2, dialog: 2, characters: 2.
-
a dream? well you can't wake up alive from a fire. descriptive, i like that, though you should break up the whole chunk, makes it friendlier to my eyes(:
-
Wow... That was an amazing story. I like how you discribed the characters from you and the girl, to the kitten. At first I thought it was a dream too, but......
1 - 5 of 5



