Rain Plays Barefoot

Rain continued down the crowded hallway in flittering nervousness. She had her mallet bag ready, but she still couldn’t get over the fact that she was doing something just a bit taboo. 1

“Girls don’t play the drums.” Jacey had nagged at her this morning as they were in the bathroom at her house, applying their make-up as they got ready for the bus to come pick them up.2

“I don’t care, drums are just cool. I just can’t picture myself playing a clarinet or something.” 3

“Yeah, whatever Rain.” 4

Jacey had not sounded too convinced, and now Rain didn’t feel very convinced as she opened the wooden double doors into the large band room.5

Sixth grade was the time that those who wanted to strike for an instrument, would join the band class, learn a few things about musical theory, and then take an aptitude test to see how they scored. The student would get to choose, for the most part, but the more popular instruments would fill up quickly. 6

Fortunately Rain had scored extremely high, ranking a 100% on her test, thanks to three years of piano lessons, and so she was tied for first choice with three other students. She knew that even if all three of them went first and picked percussion too, she’d still be able to get in.7

One by one the three students were asked what they wanted and to Rain’s surprise none of them pick the coveted percussion position. 8

‘Trombone? Clarinet? What are these people thinking?’ 9

To Rain the choice seemed obvious. 10

When it was her turn she nervously stood at the sound of her name and answered, “Percussion.” which was answered by a quiet wave of whispers around the half circular room.11

She would be the first girl percussionist, in all of Chantelle Middle School history. She’d been talking to people, and knew there were a few others in adjacent schools, but it was a bit nerve racking to feel like she was being some kind of rebel.12

Rain was anxious to see the conductor’s response. To her surprise he seemed not to care, what she had chosen.13

“Alright, proceed to the cafeteria, the percussion section will meet daily in sectional and will be taught by Mrs. Clarkson.”14

‘Thank heavens!’ Rain tried to calm herself, ‘The worst is over.’15

Rain had always been confused by these kinds of reactions. As a child she’d always been tomboyish. Climbing trees, playing with trucks in the mud, and as she got older basketball, and soccer were her favorites. It seemed the older she got, the more of a freak she became. 16

‘What, just because I have a birthday, I’m supposed to dump all of my favorite hobbies? To play the girlie-girl game?’17

Rain didn’t like to think bad thoughts about anyone, but there were some disturbing trends at school that had begun to annoy her. Girls conglomerating in mass, heading to the bathroom, or setting up boundaries at the good lunch tables always talked about things of no interest to Rain. Conversations about the cuteness of boys, shaving their legs, piercing their ears, all just kind of made Rain feel strange. She’d begun to wear make-up just to not stand out, though she didn’t really like it.18

Rain had gone to the back of the band room where the instruments were kept. She picked out a school loaner drum case and quickly wrote her initials on the fresh tag. Then she made her way out to the cafeteria.19

She began setting up her drum stand as she'd seen in a demonstration, as she quietly observed who came in from the band room to join her. One by one they filed in. First a tall chunky one, then a short blonde haired one with freckles, then a couple more--- one with glasses the other who had a cast on his arm. They were all fairly different except for the fact that they were all male. 20

‘Am I the only girl in universe who wants to play the drums?’21

Rain had been busy, and had completed setting her drum up and realized at the last moment that she’d left her mallet bag in the band room. She went back in to get it and when she came out she looked down in embarrassment because the class had already commenced.22

“Oh hello Miss Styles,”23

“I’m sorry…”24

“Just please take your seat.”25

Feeling a bit dejected she made her way back to her drum and music stand, but when she was about to go find a chair to sit in, she looked up and saw a new boy who’d place his drum next to hers. 26

The funniest feeling washed over her. She thought maybe her face was turning red, but she couldn’t imagine why. 27

‘What the heck is wrong with me?’28

When she did finally succeed in getting a hold of herself, and a chair as well, she found it very hard to place her chair next to his. For some reason she just had this over powering urge to run far away from him. Inch by inch it seemed she moved back to her original spot, nearly shaking with every step.29

“Rain?”30

Rain was surprised and now embarrassed because she knew what Mrs. Clarkson was going to ask.31

‘Why aren’t you going to sit next to that boy? What is wrong with you? Don’t you realize this is mushy girlie stuff, you know, love-at-first sight? Better be careful or he’s going to figure it out, don’t sit too close, don’t look in his direction, and if he talks to you you’d better not say something stupid.’32

“What?” Rain clicked the scary imaginary teacher out of her head.33

“Have a seat please.”34

“Oh, sorry.”35

Rain gulped and sat down, she turned and shyly eyed the boy and new that was a huge mistake because he was looking at her too. 36

‘Oh great he knows, or at least he thinks I’m a freak or something.’37

So the class began, and Mrs. Clarkson proved to actually be extremely nice. Most of the other boys were too caught up in the novelty of their new drums, and sticks to notice that Rain was even there. 38

Jacey caught up with Rain while they were waiting for the bus again.39

“So what did you think of the cute boy?”40

“What?” Rain was certainly not comfortable with where this conversation was headed.41

“You know the one with the dark hair and dreamy green eyes.”42

“I’m sorry I must not have met him before.”43

“Whatever Rain, he’s in your percussion class.”44

Yes, of course Rain knew who she was talking about, how could she not. It was a complete mystery to her. Rain had played with boys all of her life, had been friends, had been close, but never had she felt like that about any boy before. It seemed so very weird, like she wasn’t hardly even in control of herself anymore. She couldn’t stop worrying about what he thought about her. She couldn’t stop playing the miserable scene over and over in her head. She couldn’t help but feel insanely jealous when the other girls fawned over him. It was literally tearing her up, and this was only day one.45

‘How the heck do people do this all of the time?’46

“Rain! You aren’t listening to a word I’m saying.”47

“Oh sorry, what?”48

“Did you get a good look at him?”49

“Not really.” This was pretty much true, she’d only been able to look at him twice.50

“You really are always in the clouds aren’t you?”51

“I dunno, I guess so.”52

“Ok well, I know you won’t want to come, but we are going to get together tonight at my house.”53

“What are you going to do?”54

“Oh, just listen to music.”55

“I think I’d rather play ball with James.”56

“Well see ya tomorrow, that's my bus.”57

The weeks went by in percussion class pretty flawlessly. Rain was actually extremely good at the snare drum and bells. She even excelled at the tympani which was her favorite out of all the percussion instruments. She was glad to be doing so well at the music, but for some strange reason that wasn’t really her priority anymore. 58

On one particular day Mrs. Clarkson had to take a call, and left them in the room to practice silently on the floor while she was gone. Rain went through the patterns steadily, and even began working ahead in her book a bit, until she started hearing some whispering behind her.59

She turned to see three of the boys huddled behind her peeking over at her from time to time.60

‘This is it.’ she thought, ‘This is when they do something horrible to me for being a girl, and being good. They’re going to pull a prank or something.’61

Finally one of them stepped forward; the blonde freckled one that she knew now was Simon.62

“Hey Rain,” as he spoke the tanned boy name Paul ran out of the room, “Paul wants to know... if you like him.”63

Rain stopped in utter astonishment. Her eyes widened, and her faced burned. 64

‘Paul, likes me? No way? Surely not. I bet this is a trick to make me look dumb. But I don’t want to hurt his feelings if he really does like me.’ then Rain’s thoughts countered, ‘Rain since when does any boy like you? No it would just be a joke for any boy to like you. If they are going to like someone, they are going to like a girl who straightens her hair, and wears nail polish. Besides he hasn’t even so much as noticed you.’ 65

Rain had to admit even if he had, she probably wouldn’t have noticed him because she had been too busy noticing Noah. 66

All of these thoughts flurried through her brain in a matter of seconds leaving her somewhat confused when she answered, “I don’t really know Paul, so I guess I can’t answer your question.”67

“Paul,… you know the guy that just left.”68

“Yes, I mean,” and Rain tried to explain, “Well, he seems nice, but,”69

“You just like him as a friend?”70

“Yeah.” 71

Rain was relieved that he understood.72

All of the boys seemed to drop their shoulders in disappointment cringing for when they’d have to break the news, and Rain decided to make this easier.73

“Listen, Paul is great, but I just can’t date people. My dad says I’m too young.”74

“Oh, ok.” Simon seemed to take this better, “Alright then.”75

It nearly seemed as if a cloud of mist had lift in the room, and suddenly things became easier. It was like now she could just be one of the guys. Rain started to feel almost back to normal, and turned in her seat just at the right time catch Noah’s hard gaze. 76

He look so serious, like he was trying to communicate something, and Rain certainly did not get the message. The muscles in her neck tightened, she stopped breathing, and she could feel her blood pressure rising. 77

Just when he looked away and got himself up to go to wherever these strange boys were going when they left the room, Rain began to wonder, ‘Could it be possible that on that first day Noah, had felt something too? Could he have been just as shy as me? Why on Earth would he ever like me?’78

Just as she came to know the possibilities, she began to understand the damage that she just had done. With just a few short sentences she’d ruined the only chance she’d ever have with Noah.79

The school year barreled on with force. It seemed that these dilemmas happen, and at the time they seem so painful, but eventually the wounds heal, you bare yourself up, and move on. And so it was with Rain. It had been many months since that disastrous interlude, and the meaningful gaze. She had tried her best to ignore Noah, and all of the circulating comments going around the school about who he was dating, or who he taking to this or that dance. He seemed to be a rising star within the middle school walls, and Rain too timid to really make that many friends remained content with her simple life.80

She practiced hard, and made first chair. She was too delighted to realize that this made a few of the boys uncomfortable, being beaten by a girl and all. Besides the Noah event, she couldn’t be more pleased with the outcome, of the rumor about her father. She was glad to be rid of uncomfortable situations with boys. 81

Everything was going smoothly, until the parade. Their first parade was the terror of their sixth grade lives. They’d have to march with the drums strapped to their stomachs and march in step and on rhythm for at least two miles. 82

They met up in front of the Methodist church, so that Mrs. Clarkson and the other directors could fit them into formation. They’d practiced many weeks, but many still struggled with the most basic marching movements.83

Rain found the drum line, and being first chair and a fairly good marcher, was designated as the right guide a position of destinction. 84

As they were standing out in the hot May sun, and Rain began to feel a bit funny. Her drum all of the sudden seemed to be an enormous weight and she felt like she was going to be sick. She brought herself back to reality to discover that she was lying on the pavement, and her head was bleeding.85

Apparently she was dehydrated, and possibly had a concussion. She was sent back into the church to stay until her mother could get through the crowd to pick her up. 86

Rain was so embarrassed. Waves of shame rippled over her as she watched Jeff, the second chair take her position. She saw all of her peers, shining in their sharply creased uniforms, and brand new flashing helmets, and felt a tinge of envy. The drum line, her drum line started up the cadence and row by row they were gone.87

She sadly made her way into the bench seating of the church, hoping her mother would make it there soon. It was embarrassing enough to be here alone, much less all dressed in uniform. She pressed her hand against the cut on her head to help her keep back the tears.88

She had been sitting this way for awhile when she heard another step on the cold tile floor behind her.89

She turned to look, and to her astonishment it was Noah.90

He was holding his right arm firmly against his chest.91

“Noah! What happened?” Rain let out in concern.92

“Oh, I tripped, and I think I might have dislocated my shoulder.”93

Rain’s eyes widened.94

“My dad is coming to take me to the emergency room, but really it’s not that bad.”95

“Not that bad?” Rain wasn’t convinced.96

“It’s happened before.”97

Rain was simply astonished.98

“I used to play hockey.”99

“Oh.” As if that made it okay.100

Now that the immediate emergency was over for the present, a strange stall caused them to both feel the awkward silence that followed.101

Rain eventually jumped in, trying to be congenial, “So I hear you’re going out with Brandy Moss.”102

“Oh well…”103

“I mean I think that’s great.” Rain tried to flush out her inner growling, “I really do.”104

“Well I mean…” he started, “I was going out with her, kind of, but I guess she just wasn’t my type.”105

“Oh.” Rain was pleased, but then that only meant she’d have to get used to him going out with some new person. Every time he flopped she always hoped, and then felt crushed all over again. Why couldn’t she just kill those hopes forever, so they wouldn’t keep hurting.106

“So, James tells me that you’re one mean ball player.”107

“I guess I’m good for a girl.”108

He chuckled, “No I believe him, I mean you seem to be good at everything else.”109

Rain blushed. After she had recovered from the compliment she tried to continue, “I’m not good at everything.”110

“I think so, I mean first chair against me and Jeff…now that’s some stiff competition.” They both laughed.111

Rain started to hope that her mother never got the call to come get her.112

“So,” Noah changed his voice tone meaning a stark change in subject, “are you good at dancing too?”113

Despite herself Rain couldn’t help but snicker at the very though of her trying to stumble around in heels and a skirt.114

“What’s so funny?”115

When she calmed down, “I think you might have just stumbled across one of my many flaws.”116

“Oh, come on, have you ever tried it?”117

“Well, no.”118

“Well, knowing you, I’m pretty sure you’d be good at it if you tried.”119

Rain looked at him in a smile willing to concede. “Maybe you are right.”120

“I know I am.”121

She took a breath and nodded her head. She didn’t know quite what to say. She had no idea how this kind of thing was normally done, or if maybe she was just hearing what she wanted to and that he was only trying to make polite conversation.122

After another uncomfortable pause this time Noah chimed in, “So, are you planning on going?”123

“Me? To the dance?” she paused in thought, “Well, no…” she didn’t want him to think she didn’t want to go, “do you think I should go?”124

Just then Rain’s mom burst in the doors, almost racing across the room making quite a theatrical show of motherly concern, “Rain! They told me what happened are you alright?”125

“I’m fine mom.”126

“Now don’t tell me that when I know you just fainted, just like that with no warning at all!”127

“Mom, I’m fine.” Rain would normally have been quite annoyed with her mother, but she couldn’t take her eyes away from Noah, and her mother didn’t even seem to notice that her daughter had been talking to someone else. Between the ramblings of her hysterical mother, Noah stood up.128

“I probably should go check to see if my Dad is here somewhere. Nice talking to you, Rain. And as he bent down to pick up his helmet, he mumbled to Rain under his breath.129

“I think you should.”130

He then gave her a meaningful look and left the room. Rain was in a daze. Somewhere between smelling his musty hair and hearing him say that he wanted her to go to the dance, prevented Rain from hearing anything anyone said for the rest of the day. 131

The dance was in the evening, a continuation of Homecoming weekend which permiated the whole town. The parade was just the beginning of festivities which included a fair, a football game, and dances on and off during the weekend at the various schools. Though celebrated most rigorously in the highschool, the intermediate highs and middle schools were incouraged to chime in as well. 132

St. Clair Springs was a town full of life and pride today, and the nightime festivities would be no exception, and Rain had not prepared for this at all. She'd never dreamed she'd even consider going out. For some insane reason it was a formal occasion at her school, so Rain threw on the only Sunday dress she owned. It was black and fit slightly to her curves and ended at knee length. Its color was convenient as it worked for church, weddings, and funerals, and now it would work for the most important event of her short life. She borrowed a pair of her sister’s shoes, as Mandy already had plans to go the mall with friends, and sometimes Mandy could be nice, when she wanted to be.133

Rain primped like she never had before. She actually used a curling iron to straighten out her red waves, and used some makeup tips she got from a Bop magazine on how to accentuate blue eyes. She felt so girlish, it seemed almost criminal. 134

‘Man I would just die if James and the guys saw me right now. They’d never look at me the same again.’135

She rode to the dance with Jacey who was completely astounded that Rain was even going at all.136

“Something’s up.”137

Rain coyly replied, “Nothing’s up.”138

“What is wrong with you?”139

“I thought you’d be proud of me. You used to think there was something wrong with me because I never did this kind of stuff.”140

Jacey knodded her head in agreement, and quickly changed the subject, “Nice hair.”141

“Thanks.”142

When they got inside Rain felt extremely nervous. She didn’t know what to do with herself. 143

‘What if I misinterpreted what he said? What if I’m going to look stupid?’144

She broke off from Jacey to go get a coke from the vending machine, which just happened to be the farthest away from the dance she could get where the lights were on.145

As she began to slip the bill into the slot, she heard voices, and when the machine rejected her dollar, she resigned to eaves dropping, especially when she knew she recognized one of the voices as being his.146

“I'm telling you, Jess is a way better choice. You'd better act now before someone else does."147

“Look I’ve got other plans.”148

“What better plans could you have.”149

“I don’t like her, okay?”150

“Every guy likes her.”151

“Why?”152

“Because she's pretty loose if you know what I mean.” 153

“Why do you care who I'm with anyway?”154

“Who is it, Noah?"155

“What are you talking about?”156

“Who is the girl that’s holding you back.”157

“No one.”158

“I’m not stupid.”159

There was a long deliberating pause.160

“Ok, Rain Styles."161

“Shhh…are you kidding!”162

“Yeah, so.”163

“Well, I mean man she’s hot, quite the thing, but you’re dreaming. She ain’t gonna give nothing up, she's too prude man.”164

“How do you know?”165

“Take it from me, Jess is a way better bet.”166

“Not as pretty.”167

“No not as pretty, but a sure thing.”168

"Maybe you are right. Rain might still come though."169

"Eh, just play dumb, like you barely know her, she'll get the hint quick enough."170


Rain suddenly realized that she was standing there, in this ridiculous dress, in this over done make-up looking like she was begging for a boyfriend.171

‘Who the heck do they think I am anyway? They’re right, I’m not a slinky Jess Tambridge, I’m Rain Styles!" 172

She quietly stepped into the girl’s bathroom, and sat on the floor for a good half hour thinking through what she’d heard.173

‘I’m pretty?’174

That had simply never occurred to her. She felt such a strange mixture of anger and pleasure. She hate him for being so fake, for giving up on her on the whiff of someone more likely to be usable; for not really returning her sincere feelings. This was just a game for him.175

She also felt pleasure unspeakable, that anyone could think that about her. The pleasure she felt made her feel even more angry at being so predictable, so easily manipulated, that now, even after she knew what he was, she still fell for it.176

She tightened her wrists, willing the tears back that might smear her wretched mascara.177

‘How is that possible, I feel so clumsy all of the time. All of those girls have some kind of secret code; they are so graceful, and feminine.’178

Rain got up and peered at herself in the mirror. She began to take off some of the makeup around her eyes. When she finished and looked at what was left, she thought she was looking at someone else.179

‘I guess, I don’t look too bad, at least with my hair straight like this.’180

She felt like she’d been in here too long by now so she made her way back to the parking lot. She knew that soon her friends would come find her. 181

She could just say that she’d changed her mind, and Jacey would understand.182

She was perched on a cement bench when a red pickup dropped off a familiar passenger. James Richie slid out and waved his dad off. He started to make his way in, and just as Rain was praying he wouldn’t look her way, he said, “Rain Styles, is that you?”183

She winced; this was going to be hard to explain, “Yeah.”184

“Look at you!”185

He came over to her bench and sat down.186

“Please, stop, this is hard enough already.”187

James grinned from ear to ear at her, “I love it.”188

“Shut up.”189

“You look great.”190

“Thanks.”191

Rain felt kind of strange. Like they weren’t just normal friends, they were now girl with dress on, guy with funny expression.192

“Ok you want honesty, here’s an honest question…” Rain was beginning to scare herself, she didn’t want to do this, how would she ever recover her image… “Am I pretty?”193

“What?” James was confused.194

“Do you think I’m pretty?”195

He shrugged, “Yes.”196

“Is it the dress or…”197

“No, I’ve always thought that.”198

“Oh.”199

They sat still, it was a pretty awkward pause. Rain seemed to be having a lot of these lately.200

‘All of these random guys seem to have liked me, and I just couldn’t ever believe it. Is it possible that James…no surely not, he’s my best friend. He’d never betray me so cruelly by having a crush on me, would he?’201

James broke the silent in a sudden burst of excitement, “You know what? I think this dance is getting old.”202

“You just got here.”203

“Yeah, I know. Hey do you think you can kick trash, in high heels?”204

“No.”205

Rain looked down in thought, and then rose to the challenge.206

“but I can play barefoot.”207