short story

A very long time ago, there was a little girl named Annabel. She was a blonde, blue eyed beauty, and somehow, was never happy. She was rich and although she had many siblings and toys, she had no friends. She tried to make friends but they despised her for having so much money. Her only confidante was her nanny. The nanny was a frail old woman with long silver hair always in a braid and thick glasses. Her name was Gilda. Gilda had helped raise Annabel from since she was born and cared for the girl very much. It pained her to see the poor girl so unhappy. Annabel told Gilda many things like how she wanted to fly or how she was lonely, or even her first crush on a boy. Soon, Annabel turned fourteen and was to marry a strange old man. Gilda could only see one way to prevent the horrible marriage: burn down the home and see to it that Annabel become a regular girl. That night, a fire occurred that not only rid everyone of their money, but made them homeless. Gilda then stole away Annabel and told her to wear a maid's clothing and head for the village. Annabel dressed in a plain cotton dress with a white apron and ran. the only thing she took from her old life was a simple sapphire ring that was her grandmother's. once she reached the village, she told the first person she came across, her crush. His name was Daniel, a green eyed, brown haired, muscular boy of sixteen. Daniel told the village elders, who dealt with the fire. Annabel spent many months in the village undiscovered, making friends and forming a special bond with Daniel. One day, she was wearing her ring when a stranger came up to her and said that her parents were looking for her. she denied everything but it turned out that the stranger was her betrothed, and he had been looking for her. The lady that Annabel had been staying with came outside and looked at her ring. She recognized and proved the strange man's words to be true. Annabel was returned to the world of ballroom dances, money,and in her case, unhappiness. On the day of the wedding, she told Gilda that she was in love with someone else but Gilda could see no way to change the future, so Annabel walked down the aisle with tears streaming down her face. Just then, the church doors swung open and her love ran through the church. Annabel was overjoyed and ran to his arms. Annabel's parents soon realized the horrible mistake and canceled the marriage. Then, Annabel and Daniel were married and because of her upper class and his lower class, they settled into a comfortable middle class life and had many children. The sapphire ring was passed on through the generations,until finally, it once again rests on a young girl's finger. The End.

Author notes

i might turn it into a novel

can you help me think of a title? thx.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

  • xXMe17xX
    July 11

    Edit | Reply
    told u i promised ill be backso i read this and i think this is a great plot, but you cold make it even longer, this could be the plot but write 10 chapters..you know..great story thught


  • Barmiddo
    June 16
    Edit | Reply
    This story is a good start but you could definitely work on it. The plot is interesting and almost like a fairy tale if you develop it more. Separate your ideas into paragraphs and add more descriptions of the scenery and characters. Also don't gloss over key points of the plot. Why did Annabel's parents only now "realize the horrible mistake"? Why was a fire the only way to get Annabel out?

    • also, would you mind reading my other story? i need some advice on that one as well.

    • thank you. i just wrote this and will definitely come back to it with your comments in mind.