The sea wraps itself around her ankles: a beautiful invitation to the solace it can provide, an escape from the pain and the emptiness- a journey to Heaven. She hasn’t gone on a journey in a long time. The obliviousness of the world outside her door is always far too overwhelming. The kindness of strangers has long since faded from her recollection, along with memories of charity and hope.1
The sea sings her a captivating song. Not a song of peace or love. A song of death and release. A song to free a beautiful soul from a rusted and wretched cage. Personification of what the world has become. Famine, disease and many other sicknesses now plague a home that had once been like a child, learning, growing and loving with time. She knows this. As a friend of forever she has seen it all. 2
The sea slides past her hips as she dances to its song, her body swaying to the sadness, swallowing her whole. 3
The sea gently captures her tears as they slide down her cheeks. They took her love too. The only thing that had kept her in this wretched world. She remembers the words that made him go out that day.4
– When the time comes and the world becomes nothing more than a shadow of itself, bury me in the sea. I know it will forever welcome me. –5
The sea slithers past her neck and seeks her mouth, smothering the sad words she was about to cry: her lover…gone. He had gone out in search of a good deed, something small and beautiful he could bring home to her. He didn’t come home at all. A bullet pierced her lover’s heart as he sheltered a child’s body with his.6
The sea savagely caresses her body as the waves wrap her in an eternity long forgotten. She bids no farewells, she has just arrived home.7
Author notes
This is about the obliviousness in todays world.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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heh i wrote something frighteningly similar.. i like this, alot.
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this is a fabulous lament to the sea.Thanks for sharing such an inspirational tale.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
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Beautiful
Amazing job! I really enjoyed this. Keep up the good work. And, good luck in the contest! -
Wow the beauty in your words is so amazing. Such a terrific, poetic write. Beautifully done. Good luck and thanks for entering.
Cassie
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Aww, this is so sad. It's beautiful, though. I think you did a wonderful job at portraying her sorrows, the beauty of the ocean and an even wonderful job at combining the two!! Wonderful job!
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I love ur imagery and ur vocabulary here, I was really really feeling it. The way you portrayed the ocean, and her saddness, and wow i'm rambling! They shouldnt let ppl like me host contests ;-) Thanks for entering.
Jake -
Great
Nice write. You made the sea come alive with emotion and feeling. What a sad piece though with a somewhat "happy" ending. I mean really, her lover died in an act of unselfish courage and he pays for it with his life. Sad. She decided to kill herself. Sad. She will be with him for eternity. "happy".
My favorite lines are,
" The sea sings her a captivating song. Not a song of peace or love. A song of death and release. A song to free a beautiful soul from a rusted and wretched cage."
I take it the wrecked and rusted cage is her body. Good metaphor considering what she has gone through. Write On. Fly -
Good job my dear! Your talent never disappoints.
M -
I would like you to compare this write with a poem I wrote some time ago ...
Hope you enjoy it.
allpoetry.com/Poem/77871
GD Sammy
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The sea savagely caresses her body as the waves wrap her in an eternity long forgotten. She bids no farewells, she has just arrived home.
A perfect ending for this wonderful piece.
Thank you for sharing your talent with us, Lisa.
Take every care,
Sammy
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I really like this story, it would've made a fine poem, too. Full of outstanding wording and it flowed exceptionally well. I'm anxious to read more of your prose.
Thanks!
- Giovanni -
wow! this is great! you have such good word choices in this! like the sea wripping around her ankles and the sea slithering. its like the sea is a snake. its sad too but its really good. i like it! youre right, the world really is oblivious
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wow even your stories are so poetic its almost scary... truely amazing... luv it ~av~ -xoxo-
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