As Boer and his close companion soared higher and higher, the air started to chill. When he turned back to scan for the enemy who made that enormous horn sound he could see them as only tiny blotches of colour against the dull earth. He could feel his heart beating, as well as his dragons. But he felt secure enough, as the threat was moving at what seemed to be a very fast pace, northward; the other direction.1
"What happened?" Queried his dragon; folding her wings and shaking her head vigorously, trying to avoid the dew on her whiskers from freezing, as they settled camp. 2
"I ran into Rozak again. He must have been waiting from me. I wasn’t ready..."3
"You should always be ready, little one, you are a Rider. You are one of the most powerful things in this land. Though, you are still very young, you are expected to be strong."4
"Me very young? What about you? You are but months old. How is it dragons can grow so massive and wise! When you are yet to reach even childhood!" 5
"You are forgetting something, little one…" the large dragon nudged Boer with her nose… "Dragons are very different to you humans. We bare different powers. As you were once told, dragons are very powerful creatures. We can not afford to be small, nor unwise." 6
"I suppose you are right" admitted Boer, resting his head on the dragon’s beautiful green scales.7
"Goodnight, Jade, I love you."8
"As I you, little one."9
The next morning Boer awoke to Jade purring loudly as she feasted on a large bird. Obviously she has already been out hunting. Her dark green scales reflected the light making it uneasy on Boer’s eyes to look right at Jade. Boer was content she was happy and so he grabbed his bow and turned into the woods.10
Boer had grown up in these woods. He knew every last bit of it like the feel of his bow. When he was in them, he felt alive. Even better when on the back of Jade, flying through the trees. As he weaved around various plants, bushes and trees, he breathed deeply, letting in the fresh morning air. He blocked all noise out, and just walked; reminiscing on the events from the day before.11
By the time Boer got back to where Jade and he had camped up, an hour had passed and Jade was sitting patiently waiting for him. Eyes wide, Jade followed a small bug fluttering quickly past. 12
The day was slowly wandering past when Boer and Jade quickly and swiftly stood to attention when they both heard a distant horn. Covering the fire with dirt; to restrict smoke, Boer hastily collected his things. 13
"Find where that horn is coming from!" shouted Boer to Jade and she lept from the ground into flight.14
Author notes
I hope this doesn't confuse you too much. My head isn't really here at the moment. Please don't go too harsh on me. I'm tired, and I know it's not very good.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is turning out to be fully sick! Meri write the next one!!! I like the idea of a dragon riding archer! Archers are wicked!
good story bub!! keep it going!!
Ryan
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Ummm right Red... Anyway Meri, this was great. I enjoyed it heaps... I will wait somewhat unpatiently for the next installment.
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hell yeah
i liked the bit with Michael Jackson -
this was good, but havent you changed the title of the story-thats confused me, nuthing else. the green writing on black background makes it easy to read which is good.
overall i really enjoyed it.
MoniX -
No, I think it's good, Meri! The reader is a little confused because we haven't gained much information, yet, about Boer and the other Rider and the horn, but this section was rather clear. Granted, the part about Boer wandering around may have been a bit superfluous, but I can tell that this story hasn't even started to get going yet. We're at the very beginning, and we have to wait for you to feed us more information.
There were a couple of places where you misused some words. In the sentence "We bare different powers." the word "bare" should be "bear". Also, in the sentence "...trying to avoid the due on her whiskers from freezing, as they settled camp." the word "due" should be "dew", and I think instead of "settled camp" it should be "made camp". And in the sentence "Boer was contempt she was happy..." the word "contempt" should be "content".
In the sentence "Obviously she has already been out hunting." you switched from past tense to present tense. "Has" should be "had". In the sentence "He blocked all noise out, and just walked..." there should be no comma after "out".
To prevent the sentence "Even better when on the back of Jade, flying through the trees." from being a fragment, you should make it "He felt even better when on the back of Jade, flying through the trees."
Aside from these few minor errors, great story! I'm looking forward to the next part(s)!
Kyla, your big sis!
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