I. NIGHTMARES AND "DREAMSCAPES"

I Wrote:2

            I guess you could say I'm worried. I mean, wouldn't everybody be. Going to a new school is harsh; it's scary, it's . . .  Well, you know where I'm getting at. But something was different about this time. I wasn't completely scared. I was excited to meet new people - for a change - and I actually started imagining how my first day would be like. I thought I was going to be treated like a new king - unknowing of his duties. The girls wouldn't really talk to me. The guys would all jump to talk to me to see which of their little groups I would join. It's highly unlikely that the whole guy and their groups thing would be true - seeing how not all the schools I went to had the little guy cliques - but it's not completely unlikely. 3

     I am so happy to get a fresh start: No drama, hopefully better grades, new faces, and a chance for me to learn from my mistakes I made at that previous hell of a school I just transferred from. Some like: no throwing chairs at your 4^th grade teacher, never touch a girl's butt - even if she asks you to wipe her off after you've politely picked her up when she has fallen - and most important, fighting is a big no!4

     Oh, my first day will be beautiful so I have absolutely nothing to worry about! Good night journal!5

9/1/20086

10:29 p.m.7

            I slammed my journal closed and smiled. I jumped up and slammed my light off. I wasn't one to waste energy. On my quick journey back to my bed, I noticed that my next door neighbor's motion censored light came on again. 8

            "What is that?" I said in a stern annoyed voice. 9

That light cuts on and off throughout the night and honestly, it's weird. My neighbor has an orange and white dog that strays around the block. It's cool though; it never messes with anyone or even barks. It is weird though. I've always been suspicious about my new neighbor. Personally, I think he's the devil. All signs point to it. For one, his address is six-six-six, two, the house it just really old and nasty. It looked as if it was once white but the dust and dirt that accumulated on it - over the many years of neglect - made the house seem a light gray. Third, the porch literally looks like if I were to step a foot on it, it would instantly collapse. Fourth, and foremost, the man looks and acts like a murderer. He only comes outside on rainy days - even though I've only had two rainy days out here, and the two times that I did actually look at him, he wouldn't speak; just stare us down with a frown on his face. I mean, the rest of this happy neighbor greeted us and welcomed us to this neighborhood, why was he so angry and scary.10

            "I swear," and the light turned off, "the next time that light comes on . . ." I trailed off. Then, mockingly, the light came back on.11

            I ran over to the window to see what was moving around that was causing the light to constantly come on and I looked out to find... nothing. That happens every time I look to see what is turning the light on - nothing is ever there! 12

            "Whatever! But, I will go over there. I hope in the future that light doesn't interrupt my dreams or wake me or something. I better not have a nightmare about this stupid light!" I talked out loud to myself settling down into my semi-new bed. I had a reputation for talking to myself. My mom does it and my dad started doing it. My sister and brother think it's weird but who cares what they think. Sometimes you just need to get it out.13

            "Well, good night, me," I slid my journal back into my secret spot. No one can read my journal.14

            When I closed my eyes to sleep, something felt different. My stomach began hurting. It was a sharp pain that I've never felt before, like knives were slowly moving through my digestive system. It started at the top and began to slowly creep down. Then, I abruptly opened my eyes . . . and it stopped. I sat up and looked around dazed because the pain made me nauseated. I didn't speak because I was too afraid to. I thought any unnecessary movement of my torso might trigger that odd pain again. I barely breathed. Slowly, I lay back down. Nothing . . .  I closed my eyes and there it was again, worse than before. This time I couldn't resist. I screamed as loud as I could.15

            What was this? Was I just supposed to accept this? Why is it that I've never had this pain before?16

            I sat up for about another five minutes wondering and hurt. "I would like to get to sleep you know." I spoke to my stomach squeezing it to test the waters. "Okay, now I'm going to sleep." I slowly lay back down . . . again. I slowly closed my eyes and it didn't come back.17

            I could feel my body taking over. First, my arms, then, my legs, then, my hands, then, my feet, then, my fingers, then, my toes . . .  My mind began wondering about a lot of things. What might my new school be like? What might the teachers look like? What might . . .  But I drifted off into a deep confusing dreamscape.18

 19

            I call them dreamscapes; they are my dreams, but they are more than that. They are my sanctuary, my second home, and my life. In other words, without them I would die; unless death is like a never-ending dreamscape; I would die easily for that. And these dreams are the most extraordinary dreams you would have ever dreamed. Each one by itself is a best-selling novel. 20

            Last night's was crazy. It was like one I have never had - both a nightmare and a dream. Usually, my dreamscapes evolve beautiful scenery. Once, I was on top of tree overlooking a valley of emerald green treetops. Another time, I had a dream that I was a part of nature. I ran with the lions, I sang with the birds, I hunted with the bears. It may sound evil, but I felt free. 21

Now, this dreamscape from last night...I could feel that I wanted to wake up, but something within the dream made me stay sleep.22

            My mom, Jaharia Short - married to my dad, Calvin Short - said that I was talking in my sleep. She said it sounded like I was speaking another language. I have never spoken in my sleep before so why is it tonight - the night I have both a nightmare and dreamscape - that I decide to talk in my sleep. 23

            I remember it like it was a movie I wrote... or at least one where I wrote the middle and end of.24

            The beginning I can hardly remember but my memory starts somewhere in there... 25

I sat up in a dark room surrounded by black nothing. I was scared and of course I instantly asked, "What? Where am I?"26

             ...27

            Nothing... 28

            "Hello? Anybody?" 29

            ...30

            Nothing again. 31

So I laid back and closed my eyes hoping when I opened them again, I would be in a more familiar place. But when I opened them nothing had changed. Now, look - when you feel lost and alone there are few things you try that you would never do. So, I closed my eyes and tapped my shoes three times while saying, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There is no place like home." Embarrassing, yes! Ridiculous, yes! Smart, well, maybe not, but it was worth a try. 32

            So now I'm sitting here looking stupid; I'm confused and alone. Then, out of the lonely pitch-black darkness sounds a voice. 33

"You follow me." It said so commanding.34

            "What? Who . . .  no, where are you?"35

            ...36

            Yet again, that spine tingling nothingness... 37

            "I can't follow you if you give me nothing to work with. Please! Tell me what you mean!" 38

            "Follow me...the sound of my voice." It said again in an increasingly aggravating tone. 39

            When I sat up, I lacked even the slightest clue on where I was, and what to do. The only visible thing was a white sheeted bed that looked and felt quite similar to mine; I was laying down on it - that's all things visible. The rest of the world around me was black and empty. 40

            "So what do I do now?" I said with tears in my eyes because everything felt so real. I felt so alone, so helpless.  41

            "Follow me." 42

            "What! What am I supposed to step on?! It's dark and scary and . . ." I couldn't speak because I was afraid that if I continued to yell as loud as I was, I might find myself in way more trouble. 43

            "Follow . . ." 44

            "Ok, ok, whatever I'm following you!" I said interrupting it, completely and utterly aggravated. "Here I go!" I said in a calmer tone. I jumped . . . 45

            And where my feet landed, lights turned on. 46

            "Perfect!" I whispered to myself. Out of nowhere in a burst of excitement, I began to run all over the room, turning lights on all over the place. Then finally, from where I was standing, on the opposite side of the newly known, giant room, was a man in a black coast with his head down. He reminded me of how we depicted death.47

            "I told you to follow me! Now, I'm angry! If you can't follow simple directions, you might not be able to go through with this!" He said that louder than I've ever heard him; although this had been one of my few times hearing him. I could tell he was ready to kill me right now.48

             Sorry! Someone has an attitude. If you don't want me here then just wake me up. I thought. 49

            "I heard that!" 50

            "What? How did you.... Wait... Why am I here and how did you know what I was thinking?"51

             "Many questions young one, but listen, this is your time. So listen close and follow every direction I give you even if it's a small direction." He said in a deep guttural tone. It was quite frightening to listen to, but I guess I should do what he said. 52

            "First, come here!" 53

            "Ok." And I walked over to him taking my time with each step I took. 54

            "No, go back!" He said angrily.55

             "Come here now!" 56

            And I broke out in a sprint. 57

            "No, go back! Let me show you what I mean." And before I could turn around from walking back to my corner, he was there waiting on me. 58

            "What! How . . ." I was speechless. It took him no time to get to me but I don't know how.  59

            "You see? Not too hard is it?" He said lifting his head revealing a much unknown inviting face. I hadn't seen anything like it. It was . . .  dead. But I was mesmerized. 60

            "Oh . . .  I . . .  wait. What?" Words wouldn't fixate behind my teeth. 61

His face was scary yet very loving. It was pale and looked cold. He reminded me so much of a vampire, but a dead vampire. His cheek bones were very visible; they were chiseled and very "out there." And although he had that rough bone structure his skin was very wrinkly as if he had been living life for eighty years or something. It was odd. In all the books I've read, vampire skin was always taut and smooth. His eyes were very white. They were all white - no black or brown center, just pure white. 62

            How does he see? I thought to myself. 63

            "I see with my mind. I need no eyes." He said knowingly. I reached up - curious - to grab his face but he ran even faster away than he did the first time. 64

            "Now, enough talk, you try!" 65

            But I failed again. I ran even slower than I had all the other times around. 66

            "Listen, if you can't succeed, I shall pick someone else who is willing to try harder. You are so lucky. You get the chance to be one in a million, and you are acting as if you don't care. So here we go again. Run to me!" 67

            "I can't! I can't! I don't know how you did it!" 68

            "Yes, you can. Trust me!" 69

            "No, I can't! I can't!" And I let out the loudest scream I have ever heard. But before I knew it, I was on the other side of the room.70

            I did it! I finally did it, but how? 71

            "You learn fast."72

            Then he slowly began to disappear and I began to get drowsy. I fell to knees trying to get my breath. He was walking to a side of the room, but it didn't have any doors. Well, none of the room had a door. I was beginning to lean back unintentionally. I was trying to reach out for him, or at least get him to stop moving so swift to the other end of the room. "Wait . . .  how did I . . ." 73

            And I woke. 74

            "What was that? Was that real? It couldn't have been more real. But that's impossible. People don't have powers." I was talking out loud.75

            ...76

            Silent...77

             "I hate when that happens!"78

            It wasn't early enough to get ready for my new school, so I laid back down and slammed my pillow over my head with the knowledge that I might just be going insane. I guess that annoying light was getting to me.79

            "Wait a minute." And I got up and snuck a peak through my window. The sun was just beginning to rise. Then, I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers. The devil's light had just turned on as I opened my eyes. "Wow! That light is going to be the twilight of my life." And I slammed my pillow back over my head and walked through a dreamless sleep.80

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