The Journeys of Michael

My name is Michael. I am 43 years old. I look like your everyday, average, working-class male. I am not. I am a traveler. I have traveled the world. I have traveled many worlds actually. You might not believe that, but you yourself have seen many of these worlds, for you come from one with Tele-vision. Not only that, you come from one that touches upon all others, though most of you scarce know it. You'll see what I mean soon.1

I used to live a fairly normal life. I woke up, showered, ate breakfast and went to work. I worked from 9-5 selling cars at a used-car dealership.2

Not fun. I went home, ate, showered again, read a book or something similar and went to bed. Next day I did it all again. 3

Like any man would, I got bored of my job, and soon bored of my life. So I decided what the hell, what do I have to lose? I packed a few necessities, bought some extra supplies and left it all behind. I suppose they're still wondering where I went. Probably marked as dead by now. 4

I traveled my whole world over. Asia, Australia, South America, North America, Africa, Europe. Screw Antarctica, I dislike snow and I hate penguins. I saw all the usual tourist attractions. Had a few brushes with death even. Still bored though. So I just kept moving looking for whatever it was that I had set out looking for. Then, one day, I found a door. I was hoping to find a better life for me on the other side. What I found was ME, living a different life.5

I was younger, wearing some stupid cut off shirt (I must admit I looked extremely gay, but I had a cute girlfriend who lived across the street, so I suppose I wasn't) and I was watching what, at that time, looked like a glowing box. Later I would find that half the worlds I went to had these Tele-visions. The ME of that world never saw me. They never do, I don't know if it's that they can't see me, or if I've stepped into something that already happened and must take the course it has already taken. But I saw me, and I saw what happened to me. I won't say what it was, save to say that there would have been much more preferable ways to die. I hope that girl across the street had a better night. 6

Watching yourself die is not something that encourages you to stick around in a place. So I looked for the next door. And, of course, I found it. And also, of course, I found another me.7

I was a writer in this one, much closer to my own age. I lived alone because my wife was a cheating bitch. I was pretty fucking crazy to tell the truth. Eventually that story had an unpleasant end as well. For the wife and her lover this time. I will never eat corn again.8

Now I had seen myself die, and had watched myself kill 2 people. Yet another place I did not dare stick around. So I found the next door and, you guessed it, found the next ME.9

I could go on all day, perhaps all week, telling you of all the different worlds and different ME's  I have found.  I could tell you of the time I was a pirate. The time I went after a vicious killer who happened to have no head. The time I almost caught history's most well known killer (probably would have if I hadn't been a drug addict). I was an astronaut once. An undercover cop. A killer in Mexico. In one world I suspect I was slightly retarded. I know my girlfriend was. Have you seen that one? 10

I think this world is my favorite so far, however. It seems that here I am one of the world's most famous actors of all times. It's funny though. Every film I've seen, I know more than you ever will. I have actually been there. There's some magic at work in your world, no doubt about it. That this place Holly Wood should capture all my other worlds on film. That a man who is just another me from a different place should act out all these other lives. All the alternate self's of his without knowing it. And that it all can fit on tiny, shiny plates. DVDs. You are lucky, yours is one of only 4 or 5 worlds I've been to so far that has these. Most don't even have what you call Video. But, unfortunately, I have just watched the last one of myself and have seen nothing new, so I will search on. I will walk through the next door (which incidentally is right beside me) and walk through the next world. Perhaps I will be a pirate again... but I think not. Pirates didn't have chocolate did they? I smell chocolate. I LOVE chocolate!!11

Until you see me next! for I doubt I shall see you again,12

Michael.13

June 3, 200414