I had a headache that morning. There are a number of conventional ways to ruin one’s birthday: having to go to school, being woken up ten minutes before you’re supposed to be by your cell phone vibrating, and headaches all being good candidates.1
Then there are the less-broad, more-unique-to-me ways. The school you were going to could contain a history test you had not studied for, the text message that woke you up could just be some crap from your somewhat-insane best friend, and the headache in question could just be a result of you smashing your head when you slipped in the shower that morning.2
Needless to say, my birthday was not shaping up to be much of a ‘sweet sixteen’.3
“Here you go, Jake honey.”4
I lifted my forehead from the table, brushed away my bangs and grunted in thanks. Even without headaches, I was generally unable to speak in any other than single-syllable words before my morning coffee. Today, I was capable of speaking caveman, and nothing else.5
Mom smiled at me, and turned back to the stove to flip pancakes, pausing to drip a little batter on the ground for my Doberman, Augie, to lick up.6
As far as April mornings went, this one was pretty prime. The way the morning light cut cleanly through our kitchen window, casting my mother and dog into soft relief was the stuff of a painter. The song of the spring birds outside my window, juxtaposed with the gentle sounds of domestic bliss of the sizzling pancake, the stuff of musicians. Sadly, however, I was neither a painter nor a musician, and thus the only beautiful thing to me this particular morning was the cup of liquid energy before me.7
I tossed back a few gulps of the coffee, allowing the warmth to ooze into every corner of my being. Some would say drinking caffeine when your head felt like a split egg was a bad idea. Those people were clearly just jealous of the fact that caffeine was so much better of a person than them. I took a deep breath and gave myself over to the Brazilian brew. It was so peaceful.8
Then Mother started singing.9
This wasn’t abnormal behavior. In spite of having veritable corpses for a family before 7:30 AM, Mom broke the Keegan code by waking up every morning at 5:30 sharp. God only knew what she did before the rest of us could be drawn from our caves, but you could always hear her dancing about the house, spreading the joy of the pre-sunlight hours. We all hated her for it.10
“Mom…quiet…good thing,” I said.11
She turned and rolled her eyes at me. “It’s your birthday! Be happy!”12
“Leo woke me up with some stupid text. How can I be happy?”13
“It’s easy!” And thus, to accent her point, Mother continued singing.14
I groaned and averted my eyes. The cheeriness hurt me.15
What my eyes found entering the kitchen, however, was almost as terrifying.16
Karen Keegan. People said that she took after my mother, and that I took after my father, but neither of my parents had Karen’s gaze. Sure, my mom had the lanky build, brown hair, and light skin covered. The way Karen could make you feel naked just by glaring, however, was a trait unique to my fourteen-year-old sister.17
“Jake,” she breathed. “If Leo ever calls you that early again, I’ll tear his thumbs off.”18
“You heard my phone?”19
“I know! What setting do you have it on, jack-hammer?”20
She brushed some hair from her face and sighed. “Mom? Caffeine?”21
“Say you love me.”22
“I love you.”23
Mom chuckled and handed Karen a cup of tea.24
My sister blew on it, took a few drinks, and then sat down across the table from me. “And another thing. I don’t know why you feel the urge to have the shower set at ‘surface of the sun’, but please do remember that when you get out of the shower, the boiling oil is still in the pipes, waiting for me.”25
“Sorry about that,” I said lightly. “Forgot you were so thin-skinned.”26
“As if. You’re just a fire-proof mutant or something.”27
Mom spun around a bit too fast and almost sent the first round of pancakes flying. “Now Karen, stop berating your brother. It’s a big day for him.”28
Karen shrugged and reached into her pocket. “That reminds me, Jake. Here’s your present.” She tossed a box of red ballpoints across the table. Clearly, she had decided to continue the Keegan child tradition of crappy gift-giving.29
“You’re so thoughtful,” I said sweetly.30
“You’re so getting lint next holiday,” Karen returned, with equal sugar.31
“Honey…”32
All three of us looked to the source of the voice. Dad stood in the entryway to the kitchen. Under normal circumstances, my father and I looked very similar. Both of us had wavy red hair, cutting green eyes, and an averagely-tall averagely-built body. People said that I looked like a clone of him. I hoped this did not hold true this morning, because right now Dad looked like he had a dead animal atop his head, and his normally-tan skin was looking pasty.33
“Let me guess,” my mom said tiredly. “You’re sick?”34
She sighed and crossed the room to my father and felt his forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”35
“But look! I’m all clammy-looking!”36
“That’s sunscreen. Honestly, Sam, it’s like I have three children instead of just two.” She gave him a disapproving look, but was smiling slightly as she walked back to the stove.37
My Dad puffed out his cheeks in defeat, and finished rubbing in his pallor. He stepped over to the table. “Happy birthday, Son. How are you feeling?”38
“Fine. So what’s my present?” I asked.39
“You already got it. The new cell phone, remember?” 40
I knew this. I just figured it was worth asking.41
My gaze rose from my father to where the clock stood above the refrigerator. I realized, with a slight shock, I would be sixteen in less than a minute.42
Karen must have followed my gaze. “What time were you born, anyway?”43
Mom answered. “Seven thirty-six and twenty-two seconds. You father glanced at his watch.”44
I really did not want to know how they had defined my birth to the second.45
“Five,” Dad said.46
“Four,” Mom followed up.47
“Three.” Karen caught on.48
“Two.” My headache was gone, so I might as well play along.49
“One.”50
My right hand split with pain. I yelled out, the back of my fist feeling as though it had been branded. I instinctively clutched at it, aggravated it even more, and immediately drew back to just shaking my hand up-and-down. I knocked the whipped-cream for the pancakes flying, and flinched so severely I forced Augie to jump from where he had been laying behind my chair.51
“Jake?” Karen was holding the whipped-cream can, having managed to catch it. “Are you okay?”52
I brought my hand to my face. The back of it was red, and throbs of agony shot through it every few seconds. The entire arm felt hot, as though in a hot shower. I gingerly touched the burn, was promptly reprimanded for angering the wound, and winced.53
“What just happened?” I asked, letting out a pained breath. “God, that hurt.”54
I looked to my parents for some reaction, but they were too busy staring at each other nervously.55
“What do you know?” Karen asked immediately. They shouldn’t have raised us to be so observant.56
Dad glanced at her. “What?”57
“The way you’re staring like that.”58
“You’re going to be late for school, Karen,” Mom said absent-mindedly.59
“You do know something.”60
“You and Jake should start walking, we’ll explain this afternoon,” Dad said.61
Karen frowned. “I have a lab with my biology class at the beach.”62
“Then I’ll drive you.” Mom waved her hand.63
“Why are you guys hiding something?” I demanded. “I just lit on fire! Shouldn’t you be taking me to the hospital?”64
“Jake, you’re fine.” Dad said firmly. “Go about today like normal, for now.”65
“How-”66
“Don’t worry, Jake,” Mom said quickly. “Just don’t worry.” How the hell was I supposed to not worry when she was quite clearly worried?67
The kitchen went quiet. I glanced at Karen, who was looking annoyed with the secrecy, and then at my parents, who avoided my gaze. My hand throbbed again.68
“Fine,” I conceded. “But I better not seize or anything in fourth period.”69
“You’re fine, Jake,” Dad said again. “Really, everything’s going to be okay.”70
We ate breakfast in silence, with only forced normal conversation to fill in the blanks. I petted Augie with my good hand, and would every-now-and-again glance at my bad one to see if anything was happening. The skin was beginning to blister and shine.71
“I’ll clean up,” Dad said. “Jake, why don’t you walk to school? Karen and your mom can drive to the beach.”72
“Can’t I drive?” I asked. “I need to practice.” I also needed to get a parent alone for some more interrogation time.73
“Do you want to wait for me to clean?” Dad asked.74
I sighed. He knew I’d be late if I took that option. My bio teacher made life miserable for those who were late.75
I went upstairs and entered my room. It was just how I left it. Bed unmade, curtains closed, posters covering every conceivable surface. Leo’s weird little text, the only birthday text he had ever sent in my years of knowing him, was even still on my new cell’s screen: Sixteen candles. 76
I pocketed the phone, grabbed my backpack, and went back down to the kitchen.77
“I’m off to purgatory,” I said. “Just in case, you know, anyone wants to tell me what’s going on.”78
Mom and Dad said nothing. Only Karen spoke to say. “Purgatory is too good for George Washington High. Don’t you mean hell?”79
I gave my parents one final, annoyed look, and then started down the path to hell.80
Author notes
Hello reader! Welcome to my novel. This was my first work, so it's easily the worst, feel free to crush me in the comments. Element is probably the one series I hold close to my heart (this being book one of Element) so I transitively care the most about this work's quality.
For those of you who aren't really inclined toward fantasy, thanks for reading, but I humbly suggest you run away screaming. Things get a lot more magical from here. For those of you who like magic and liked this, then welcome aboard! I do hope you have fun.
Most sincerely, Mirror RorriM
edited 8/12/09 for typos - special thanks to Forgotten Anomaly for the nit-picking 
Next time, on The Timekeeper's Tree:
You know, it's amazing the type of people we hang out with. My best friend's an egotistical smart-ass with a penchant for messing with my head. I still love him though...
Chapter Two: Crossroads
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Oh, good, fantasy!
When I started reading I was like, 'Nooooooooo, reality!!!' Though you did a very good job making reality seem more interesting 
The family was very endearing, and their characters were realistic. Nyeh, I have no crushing to do here-- you make good use of your vocabulary though the word 'juxtapose' annoys the hell out of me for reasons I can't explain, lol, and the story develops smoothly. Yayyyyyy 8D
I shall return!
Eph
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Oh, look, you again!. Thanks for the kind words again, and hope you enjoy this one if you choose to return.
Sincerely,
-Mirror
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Not many novels on SW catch my interest. I'm a short story person on here. Yet, I liked this a lot!
For one thing, I couldn't catch a single grammar tiff with my SPaG hawk vision. And that is seriously the biggest relief. For another, you clearly know where you're going with this, so that is a added bonus.
Just a little query: assuming the 'rents were expecting this weird incident to occur, I'd think that, given that they clearly are not good actors, they'd be kinda weird on that morning. Maybe inject a bit of suspicious behavior on their parts to suit the fact that they don't know how to hide stuff, since later on, they get caught giving each other implied stares.
Keep on writing.
- HT
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Hey, cool! I'm glad I grabbed your interest! But, let me formally apologize on behalf of the Charest Cooperation; if you continue reading you will find this, my first book, becomes dreadfully juvenile. The later books in the series are my best but this, alas, is probably the worse. But! But but but! If you read it I'll be forced to summon the energy within myself and plunge the dark depths, so don't let my doom prophecy drive you away! If you make to the end of this novel, you will win my Golden Star! Only one other person has ever won the golden star...
Haha, sorry I'm so bizarre
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Hey, we're writers, we have to be loony. o__o And if I do stop reading, I'll give reasons why.
- HT
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Good morning/evening/crack of noon! It is I, your fellow Ess-dubbelyooian, Valkyrie! I find myself replete from completing a project today and am winding down by reading your stuff. Brace yourself.
typo alert:
p44 your father
It's a good beginning. A little too much tell and not enough show on the narrative. p56's "observant" line being an example. A bit too simplistic in the parents' area, as well. There wasn't any foreshadowing of the countdown to 16, so the parents' worry after the fact seems odd. The parents themselves felt a little shadowy here, not fully formed, so I don't feel I know them very well, or care that much about their worry.
Otherwise, hilarity ensued as usual, in your scintillating style, and I laughed often at the family dialogue. Well done here.
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Oh God, you found it. Dear Teacher, why would you ever subject yourself to this horror when there is a perfectly good chapter of Anada at your disposal?
Thank you for the edits, though, as I always your readership is undyingly appreciated.
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This was a really nice chapter! The family scene was truly believable and it gives the reader a look into how Jake's family functions. I liked how they all counted down to the time of his birth; it was a neat touch, for me anyway.
I was totally expecting the burn on his hand to form some sort of seal or symbol. I assume it will later? If I were him, I would have refused to go to school until I got some answers. I mean, he could have burned his hand on the stove, but his parents were all freaked, but not over the burn itself. They were definitely hiding something...Can't wait to see what happens next!
~sberendt
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Up until the whole hand-bursting-into-flames bit, it sounded exactly like a normal family situation, which was excellent. The conversations were very realistic, younger sisters are exactly like that! I warmed to all of the characters through their conversation; I especially liked Karen - she's very funny.
You handled the fire-hand thing well, though at first I though he'd just been careless and burnt his hand on the oven or something. You may want to make the parent's uneasiness more obvoius before Karen points it out. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading this. It was very well written and not too complicated. I couldn't see any grammar/spelling errors. The narrative was very good - it sounded as though it was coming from a real teenager (I see that you are 17 ~MirrorIrorriM, so you definately know how to write as a teenager. Top marks for that.
One little thing that is a bit strange: your hand bursts into flame and you can wait until after school to get an explanation. I would be very worried if that happened to me. It's obvious that the parent's know something about what is going on, and this makes me want to read on.
And so I shall. I'm gonna take a look at Chapter 2 now!
Great stuff!
~Horanzu xxx
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Wow, thank you for an awesome comment. I'm glad you found the first chapter interesting - I've always been somewhat twitchy about how dull it is in a fantasy setting. I agree with you whole-heartedly about the "Oh dearie me, I've spontaneously combusted...oh well." The only consideration I've made is to have him be in a situation where it seems like he could have accidentally burned himself at the stove - like he were standing near it or something. It'd be fairly easy to do - thoughts?
I hope you continue reading - you're clearly a reader who actually thinks to improve. Thanks a billion.
-Mirror -
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It was a pleasure reading and commenting!
But now I get it. The whole spontaneously combusting thing seemed like it could have been an accident on purpose. I was probably just being thick as a reader!
I'm gonna try to read Chapter 4 asap, but it may not be for a couple of days. Can't wait though!
~Horanzu xxx
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Hey Mirror,
Nice family scene here. Interactions by the members seemed pretty natural and the dialogue sounded believable. The touches of humor helped to make this more realistic. I see that most of the boo-boos have been pointed out, so I wont list them again. I thought the piece was pretty well written
and will check out more of your story
Steve
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I liked the beginning, it captured my interest. I could certainly empathise with his early morning problems! The description was good creating amazing imagery. The dialogue was also really good and I found it entertaining. This story really got me intrigued and I am keen to read more. I loved it and I am glad to hear it gets more magical as I am a big fantasy fan.
Well written well done!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Oh! I liked this, very much! I haven't read a good story in awhile, this was awesome! Very descriptive and I could picture everything in my head, clearly. I really like the characters, as well. Well done.
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I entirely see my boyfreind in Jake. It's exactly what he's like at that time of the morning. I am very curious to see where you're going, for obvious reasons. You keep the momentum going nicely, taking every opportunity to enhance the characters. There are some minor spelling/grammatical errors, but nothing that you won't notice with a quick readthrough.
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wow. seeing how much this has improved since the very first junior high edition makes me so happy. and reading the comments is kinda making me happy too. it's so interesting to see how people respond to it for the first time. I must say it makes me kind of sad, these characters being all exposed to the world. Like...my territory is being breached, haha. I'll stop commenting just to be all nostalgic now.
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What a wonderful birthday... That sentence, complete with the tone of sarcasm, marks my first response to this chapter. And then I read toward the end of it, the famed burn, and wondered, "Okay, what just happened?"
And the excitement began.
Your sis,
Dream.Live.Love
Suteki Banshou
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P.2: result 'of fromwhere you had smashed' the wording needs to be fixed.
P.8: did you mean to refure to coffee as a person?
P.10: You say everymorning twice, before and after 5:30.
P.25: Boiling oil 'is' still in the pipes.
P.33: Should it be 'an' averagely... not a?
p.77: 'what' the hell is going on.
Interesting. I read the prologue, typed a comment, than my computer decided it didn't like me and I'm not retyping it right now so I moved on.
There are a lot of errors in this for you. Is this an older write or something? Anyhow, This is on a whole different track than History I think, it seems that their are two different realities judging by the prologue but otherwise it seems vastly different.
I'm gussing he's the elament of fire as well, to agree with Surreal Rhapsody below me, due to him getting burned and his liking of really hot showers.
Alright, off to read chapter two.
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I read this earlier and didn't get the oppurtunity to comment. So, here is my comment now.
I am going to guess that Jake has the ability to control fire, or has something to do with the element. Very cool. I suspected it when his sister was talking about his taking really hot showers.
I liked this chapter. The mom made me laugh. She was so cheerful! Niether of the kids seemed to have ingerited that, both of them seem a little grumpy, but that could be because they just woke up.
Leo interests me a bit, the comment on his weirdness made me smile. Is he part of the story at all?
Oh, I don't think boring is the word to describe Jake. I like him, however I would have freaked out just a little bot more if my hand started buring like that. I wouldn't go to school, I'd go to the hospital. I wonder what the doctors would think if that.
Very good first chapter. I like this one. Its easier to understand than History because I can relate to the enviorment they are in better. (that does not suggest any favortism between your babies, I promise). Wonderful post, thank you for sharing it with me. Get e next chapter up soon!
-Savannah
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