the Rabbit Hole (the Doormouse part 2)

To sleep is divine relief from the scary waking world.1

To be in Wonderland is to abandon the waking world.2

To sleep in Wonderland is divine relief in abandonment, and that was Jake's life for what seemed like a very long time.3

He didn't dream when he slept, because his life as Doormouse was a dream, and he couldn't think of anything else to dream about.4

Sometimes, he saw things that he thought might be a dream, but they were actually little bits of the real world seeping into his sleep, and they'd be cut-off and forgotten by these words:5

"Go to sleep. It will be ok."6

It sure did feel like it was ok, until, one day, it wasn't. Doormouse couldn't quite understand what felt so different, but, suddenly, he couldn't sleep. The air was too cold, his place on the table too hard, and when he tried to crawl into his teapot, he found he couldn't fit. 7

The Hatter and the Hare, who were his friends, were eating breakfast.8

"Why are you awake?" asked the Hare, who was really just a big bunny.9

"I don't know," said the Doormouse, "something feels funny. And I'm bigger."10

"Wow," said the Hatter. "Not only that, you're less small. What are you trying to pull?" He crammed a bagel into his nose.11

"Nothing," said the Doormouse. "I'm sorry."12

"That's ok," said the bunny. "You be good and stop trying to be big. I'll get a nice cauldron or something for you to sleep in."13

"No, don't do that," said the Doormouse. "I don't want to sleep."14

His friends both ignored him.15

That was when he had a dream.16

It's weird to dream when you're not even asleep, and even weirder when you realize that your dream isn't a dream at all, but real life, and that your real life is actually a dream. The Doormouse had realized this several times while he was asleep, but there'd always been someone there to tell him:17

"It's alright. Go to sleep."18

This time, that voice had something different to say.19

"There you are. The climate is better... Be of me."20

The Doormouse felt something happening, then, that should have been familiar, but wasn't. "I'm being Stolen," he thought, though he was not sure what that meant. 21

The next he knew, the Doormouse was Jake, and he was trapped in the Doormouse, watching what happened happen. "I ate them," he thought. "I hurt my friends, just like mom, and just like dad."22

And when he died, it felt good. It was cold, and it was empty, and it was black. 23

When he died, it felt like sleep.24

"Wake up, now."25

Jake opened his eyes to the yellow incandescence of the Shadow Man's stare.26

"Did you like that story?" he asked.27

Jake cried. "No," he said. He sat up and looked around, realizing that he was back in his bedroom, just a boy again in green and blue pajamas.28

"Well, it isn't over yet. This is the ending: your mom and dad are ok. And your friends are ok. And you are ok." The Shadow Man smiled. Even his teeth were black. "Do you still want to be a monster?" he asked.29

Jake dried his eyes. "No, I don't," he said. "I want to be a good boy."30

The Shadow Man extended one long, sharp, shadowy finger and brushed a lock of hair out of Jake's eyes. "You ARE a good boy," he said.31

"I know," said Jake, "everyone says that."32

"Now go to sleep," said the Shadow Man. "Tomorrow your mom will wake you up and your dad will make you breakfast. It will be ok."33

And it was.34