I'm your typical 19 year old girl; at least, that’s what I lead people to believe. I don't have the perfect life, nor do I even know what the perfect life would be. I don't really like going into detail about my life, I mean after all, it’s not all that interesting. I was born after doctors told my mom that she couldn’t have anymore children, my older brother was already 8 years old. Doctors are stupid, my mom had three more kids after me, but that’s a whole different story. I was born on July 26th 1986 in Youngstown, Ohio. Shortly after my parents moved to California, but that move is what started to make our family fall apart. I was a pretty smart kid, I mean; it’s what was expected of me. I hate not living up to my family’s expectations of me- little did they know that later on in life I’d disappoint them in the worst way ever. When I was 8 years old my dad walked out on us, I grew up really fast at that point. So much responsibility was expected from me, at that point my sister was only a few months old, I knew how to bathe, change and feed her. But life goes on of course, I grew up I don't think I was a difficult child, no one knew how I felt about my dad leaving though, I didn’t want to show any sign of weakness. 1
In fifth grade I met Kris, he was my best friend, my rock, and it was amazing. We went to middle school and everything was great, I had awesome friends, I was getting great grades- and during that time was when I didn’t want to come home from school. I kept myself occupied in a lot of things, in middle school was where I discovered acting, and I was hooked from the beginning. I did a few plays during middle school- and of course my family was the only one that never showed up but I pretended that it didn’t bother me, even though deep inside I was torn apart.2
Kris and I went onto high school, the first year we were as close as ever, then we made the mistake of dating. It ruined our friendship for about a year, 10th grade we didn’t even make the effort to talk to each other. 11th grade was when we started to talk- we talked, we weren’t close but we talked, he was dating another girl, and I was dating another guy so we were both kind of occupied in our own little worlds. My dad came back into my life when I was 16 and I thought it was the best thing ever. I continued in my extra activities, I was involved in student government and my life was going pretty good. My boyfriend and I broke up right after finals during my senior year, so I had a semester to myself, that semester to myself was when I changed my life in a whole different way. I wasn't my normal self for a while, I was so hurt after being broken up with that I ignored all emotions, all feelings for a while, and during that while was when I got pregnant. Some girls would regret it, I don't, not one bit. 3
My pregnancy wasn't exactly an easy one. A couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant Kris died in a car accident on his way to my house. My older brother had left a few months before I got pregnant. I had talked to him a couple of times during the first part of my pregnancy then got nothing afterwards. I went through my pregnancy alone, sure I had cousins who helped out every now and then but the father of my daughter was hardly ever around, at first he even denied her as being his. My Aunt Sally, cousin Layla and friend Brad were the only ones who came to the hospital with me when I had my daughter, Kara Lynn, on March 1st, 2005. It’s August 4, 2005 today as you can see it took me a while to get my life back on track, I plan on going to a Community College soon, and I'm raising my daughter with some help from her father. Things are going pretty good, my brother has been back in our lives for a couple months now; turns out he made me an aunt. My dad left for a couple of days but came back saying he couldn’t put us through what he did when he left 11 years ago. 4
So you see, my life isn’t really all that interesting. Sure in some ways it wasn't the best, but like I said to a friend the other day, I truck through the bad days just so I can have the chance to actually enjoy the good ones. I hope you enjoyed reading this little summary of my life.5
Author notes
Well, I got bored, so heres the story of my life.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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You have me bawling at this. Not out of pitty for you; but the fact that your brother made you an aunt; that information made me realize that I will never have a biological niece or nephew; my brother will never have children. I don't know why it hurts so much, but it does.
Anyways, thanks for sharing this. Sorry I babbled so much.
Hugs
Mommy Jess -
Dad, you reading this really means a lot to me. Kris was my best friend and sometimes I catch myself thinking about him, it hurts the only thing I had in life at that time. Mike (Kara's dad) yeah, he comes around, do I love him? Ive known him for years but love? Not enough to be in a relationship with him. Brad, well we were close, then a little arguement drove him away, which the way I see it- if he up and walked after that then maybe its best I didnt get too attached. Im keeping my options open, Im not really picky I just expect the least from most people and have yet to seen it. But Im young, so Im not afraid of being single forever, plus its not only me that'll be involved with a man if Kara gets attached only to have the guy walk out- I think thats the most horrible thing ever. On any note, Ive got faith that with time and consideration- everything will work itself out.
Thanks again for reading, it really means a lot. -
and one step closer...
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OK, my Dream Angel, I'm not bored, but I want to read this anyway... why? Because your my AP daughter, of course!!!
...family never showed up, and you were torn apart... now I'm thinking of my own cold heart... and who it may be hurting right this moment... (I'm touched already by your story...)
dad comes back, and it's a good thing... you were lucky there! ...WHAT? Died in a car accident on the way to your house??? (I'm assuming he was the 'father'...) geeeeeze, that is tragic... and so recent... Oh, there was another 'father', and of course he'll have trepidation- he's only a kid! (I'm assuming it was a classmate and not some older man who would not have cold feet...) a boy named Brad came on your delivery day??? Sounds promising, or maybe just a lifelong friend, maybe a neighbor...
I'm going back in time now, I am at the hospital, you have your baby girl, I am smiling with the others... in spirit...
you're getting some help from her father, now that is big of him if he is your age, and if you still love him, when he actually enters manhood and feels secure enough, he may return to marry you, I know I would!
Your brother is back, you're an aunt, your dad was about to take flight again, then had a change of heart... your life right now, Malzy, seems to perpetually hang on a thread, and I pictured you as not having too many cares in life... responsible, yes, but cares and worries, no...
you truck through the bad days...
well, my he-man eyes are all teary, and this journey you took me on will not full sink in for a while, but that is a good thing, because we'll both be here for a long, long time.
your almost-crying AP dad
(sniff, sniff)
OK,
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WOW... This is awesome Mal!!! I miss ya lil ap sis!!! It is not boring at all!!! You did a great job!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
Not interesting????
Bah. You're interesting.
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Hey!
Thanx for reading, Ill have to get some more pictures of my daughter up but here are the ones that my AP grampa posted for me.
allpoetry.com/Poem/1274999 -
Hey Girl,
Even though you may say your life isn't that interesting, you've established one thing that sets you apart from everyone else. I admire your strength and ability to be able to say things like "I truck through the bad days just so I can have the chance to actually enjoy the good ones". Hope things are going well for ya, we'll have to catch up on things soon.
Love,
Bexxie (and yes, you're the only one who has EVER called me that. I like that.) -
Hey grandaughter, this was good. I knew most of this but a few details I haven't heard. Glad you wrote it and glad your dad is back - that's good news. And, I hope it all works out well for EVERYONE at your place.
Love ya,
Grampa -
Well, I was bored!
It's interesting that so many people are telling all of AP their lives right now, it's kind of nice. Can we see pictures of your daughter? 
I liked your last little paragraph, especially the part about trucking through the bad days. Very nice write!
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