There is a forest that I know of1
where music flows like the coo of a dove.2
There is always laughter everywhere you look3
and there are beautiful clean brooks.4
The trees are tall and give plenty of shade5
if you can ever get there you will have it made.6
One hour there is worth a thousand years any other place7
and when you return there would be something different about your face.8
It is so peaceful there that you want to laugh and cry and sing9
as you dance with others in a large ring.10
I guarantee that if you go there you will always wish you could come back11
because in comparison the rest of the world will seem rather black.12
If you ever get the chance I recommend that you go13
whether the weather there is summer or snow.14
When you go there you will find that when you return home from there15
no time will have passed for anyone else anywhere.16
but be on guard for when you return who knows17
how many years have passed or how many snows18
it could be a thousand years or no time at all19
that has passed when you next come to call.20
A contest entry
- Narnia Inspired by shadowchild25.
300 points, ended July 24, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very Great
Not only did you manage to incorporate the story into it beautifully, but you managed to convey the emotions regarding the danger of leaving and the time differences and the implications. You tied multiple books together in such a short poem. A absolutely wonderful poem.
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OMG! That is AWESOME! Brilliant Job!
Keep Writing and Long Live Aslan and Narnia!
-Crystal -
Awesome! You have captured the spirit of Narnia in your words. C.S. Lewis would be proud.
language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Enchanting
I really love it! The poem let's you clearly visualize the world of Narnia and has a very nice ending. Great work!
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Interesting
It seems a little forced. I don't think it really has a steady rythm, but I do love your discription as far as the language you use.
Great Job, keep writing
Summer
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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It's cool how there's almost a warning in the end. Indeed, great things don't come without a price. You described it so beautifully, I wish to go there. Oh and I haven't seen the movie or read the books. But you make it sound so enchanting and lovely. Cute bears... wonder if it symbolizes something. Again, nicely done.
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