Eighteen Candles (pt 8)

Vinewood1

After stopping at2

two gas stations3

a Burger King (where I wound up getting something ot eat)4

plus riding around 5

a business estate6

I finally find 7

Vinewood Women's Clinic8

Mapquest failed to tell9

me it was located in the boonies10

they should hire people to scour11

those addresses so on the map12

it will say:13

4508 Blocker Dr.-in the boonies14

Good thing I left early15

or I would have been late.16

After parking my firebird in the17

last parking space18

I walk up the rocky path19

that for a moment looks20

like a trail to a wicthes cottage.21

It's crowded.22

The walls are decorated23

with phote-framed pictures24

of naked babies with mommies25

Van Gough paintings26

and Darwin theory posters27

(If my baby is born an ape or a dolphin-28

somebody better lock me up in a insane29

strapped in a straight jacket! I'll be beyond ballistic30

if my baby's crying sounds like monkey hoots!!!)31

White oval tables32

with Baby and Parenting magazines33

pregnancy pamplets34

It's a nice room35

not very cold-thank God!36

I get chill bumps real bad37

and my nipples freeze38

and poke out of  my shirt-gross!39

The lady at the front desk gives40

me a clipboard with papers to sign.41

I take a seat in the back of the room,42

next to a woman whose stomach43

is so fat, if someone touched it44

it might explode.45

I try not to stare at her46

knowing my belly will47

be that huge pretty soon.48

**********49

Good News50

I am healthy.51

That means no:52

HIVs53

or 54

STDs55

My doctor- Leslie Wells56

was very helpful and easy to talk to.57

I didn't lie to her (although I was tempted)58

I told her how old I was59

and how scared and depressed I've 60

been over the past few weeks.61

Before she gave adivce62

she laid out all my options63

Adoption64

Abortion65

Keeping my baby66

There was no way I wa going to chosse67

eithier A's, I told Dr.Wells I planned oon68

keeping my baby and rising him or her.69

"Well I'm proud of Denzel." she said. 70

"Most of the young mother's your age71

don't feel that their fit to be a mother."72

"or not ready for the pressure." I added73

She nodded.74

Dr. Wells suggusted I sign up for 75

parenting classes and read as much as I could-76

which I told her I was.77

"I see you've already been preparing yourself, Denzel," she laughed78

"Yeah," I said feebly79

She patted my back.80

"Well if you have any questions, 81

just give me a call, alright?"82

I nodded.83

Before I left84

Dr. Wells added that it might help85

if I could get Zale or some family to come with me.86

I did my best not to snort.87

Dad would kick me out of the house88

before I could ask89

and Zale-90

Oh gosh! Zale...91

I don't even want to think92

about it. But I promised her I'd try.93

I guess I'd want Zale to come-94

and dad. It'd feel extra special.95

******96

Modeling97

After I step out of the98

shower, I stand in front of the mirror99

and model-100

soon-to-have-a-big-belly- modeling.101

I pick up a beach ball from out of102

my closet and up it under my shirt103

I laugh at myself.104

I looks funny really.105

I model and put my hand on the round106

ball to keep it from slipping out.107

Honestly I don't look bad.108

I actually like the idea if having a round109

stomach all of a sudden.110

Prideful is me.111

I dance on the rug112

with the ball and wiggle it in front113

of the glass.114

Zale would laugh at me.115

The balls slides out.116

I sigh and perch on the toilet seat,117

I miss him.118

I really do.119

I wish he was here120

modeling with me.121