My Heart May Be Dead but I Live For You /// Rosalie and Emmett & Bella and Edward

The lights flickered on with no warning when I had been sitting on the couch with Alice playing chess, although I knew she knew who would win, when Bella came in the room. “Carlisle? Esme? Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Alice?” I immediately got excited when I saw Edward follow her but with an angry touch to his appearance. But Jasper helped me be calm again.
“Welcome back, Bella.” Carlisle smiled. “What can I do for you on this... really early morning?”
“I’d like to talk to everyone at once, if that’s okay, about something important.”
Carlisle nodded once. “Of course, let’s talk in the other room?” We rarely ever go into the dining room and honestly, I didn’t like it. When I went in there, it all felt too serious.
Sitting down beside Emmett, he found my hand and held it, giving me a little wink. I wish I could blush so badly... I wish I could fall asleep in his arms... I wish he was my first... I wish he could be the father of my child... I wish I could cry, maybe I would feel better. I got Jasper to help with that, but it isn’t the same. Nothing is. I pushed away the feelings again like I always did and got antsy when waiting for Bella to give us her speech. Why must she be so slow?
Everyone took their seats in silence with Bella standing to say what she had to say. “Okay so I’m guessing everybody knows what has happened and what caused Edward to be back here.” Edward flinched and we all nodded.
“We’re all on the same page,” Alice assured.
“Okay good so then maybe this will be less painful.” Bella motioned to Edward but he didn’t look at her. He looked in pain. And I know it wasn’t from his thirst. “So um... Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you.” Edward glared at Alice in his own manner. She seemed not to notice. “They’re going to send someone to check and the whole sha-bang. Well my point is this involves all of you now. And I’m sorry for that because I didn’t want any harm done to Edward or to anybody.”
“Bella –” Esme started to protest but she held up one finger to stop her.
“Please let me finish. You all know what I want. But if you don’t want me I understand. So since there are so many different opinions on it, I think it would be only fair to have a vote. If it comes up to be a no then I’ll just go to Italy myself. I won’t have the danger anywhere near here. So please just a yes or no on the subject of me becoming a vampire.” She made it sound so easy. She’s so selfish! So stupid!
“Now just hold on a second.” Edward stood up, throwing back the chair with the back of his knees. Bella store him down but he just squeezed her hand. “I have something to add before we put you up for a vote.” She looked into his eyes, studying him. I guess she realized she had no choice because she only sighed and let him proceed, unwillingly. “Thank you. Ok so there was a reason why I didn’t want to touch Aro. Do you remember Demetri?” he asked Bella, taking her shiver as a yes. “The Volturi keep him because of his skillful talent – finding people. They keep him because he’s good at it. Damn good. While we were with them, I memorized some information I thought that would be useful. Now Demetri, he’s a tracker. And at that he’s much better than James ever could have been. He almost... counts on the flavor. It’s hard to explain. He pretty much follows the mind. But after Aro’s minor experiments –”
“You don’t think he can find me.” Good job, Bella. It’s nice for you to catch up with the clan. I would’ve growled if I hadn’t been crowded by everyone. Edwards plan was beginning to be unbelievably idiotic.
“Exactly because when the other sense doesn’t work with you, they’ll be absolutely blind.”
But I thought Bella did growl. She was mad. “How does that solve anything?”
“Apparently Alice can tell us when they are planning to visit and I could very easily hide you. It’ll be incredibly difficult for them to ever find you!”
Jasper and Edward exchanged fist pounds and I, astonished, gasped when Emmett did the same. “You’re all morons!” I hissed.
Alice shook her head multiple times. “No. No absolutely not.” And Esme didn’t do anything but stare at Edward.
“I thought the future could always change,” Bella pointed out and Edward rolled his eyes.
“You’re stealing my thunder,” he didn’t very well tease.
She groaned, slammed her hands against the table and leaned over it. “Well it’s about to turn into lightening, Edward! Now please! Can we just get this over with?!” Everybody grew silent, sitting back in their seats. The boys were almost scared I could sense. Bella calmed herself with deep breaths. “Thank you. Edward? Do you want me to be part of your world?”
He sighed and looked away. “You are my universe. But you already know my answer Bella. Don’t make this hard for me.”
And then I felt sympathy and pity on Bella. He was trying to make her feel guilty. “Edward,” I thought towards him. He looked at me in the corner of his eye. “Don’t do that to her. She’s doing this for you. Take pride in that.” He scoffed like I was only a two year old saying she wanted a pet elephant. But I didn’t try anymore. He’ll understand later.
“Alice?” Bella continued.
“Of course my answer is yes! I think you’ve known my answer since the day we met.”
Bella smiled at her. “Jasper?”
“Yes.” He was so certain. I was kind of surprised. And I think everybody else was too.
She hesitated when it came down to me. “Rosalie?”
I hesitated to, biting my lip. She was being a complete fool, but if I tried to explain that to her I would end up getting angry. And I didn’t want to scare her anymore. I had a feeling she would be part of us either way the end of this day. “No.” And as she went on to Esme, I stopped her. “Wait! I just mean... I wouldn’t have chosen this form of life for myself. And I would hate it if you started thinking that way to. I want you to be happy. And I want you to think about the risk you are taking. Even if it is for somebody you love.” I looked down at Emmett, rubbing his shoulder. He put his hand on mine, holding it to his heart. It didn’t beat the way I know it would have. “I think of you as a sister but think first, for yourself for a second. Not for the people around you. Make yourself happy before making somebody else happy.” And with that I sat down, straightened up in my chair and crossed my legs. I didn’t look up. I only focused on the intertwined hands that lay on my cold, frozen knee.
“Thank you Rosalie.” I nodded once. “Emmett?”
“Umm....” He looked at me as if looking for the answer.
“Go ahead baby,” I whispered to him.
“Umm.... Hell yes! One more and we’ll be unbeatable. Not that we weren’t before but Y’know how it works.” I smiled. He was so crazy. I loved him for that.
Bella giggled and looked at Esme for her vote. “Of course, Bella, you are already my daughter.”
“Thank you, Esme. Carlisle?” She looked so scared. I would have been. I am.
“Edward,” he mumbled.
“No,” he growled.
“Edward you don’t want to live without her. That gives me no choice on the matter.” Edward disappeared and we heard a crash and a bang. I rolled my eyes. “I guess you know my answer, Bella.” And as she said her thanks, I went to go find Edward.
It didn’t take me so long as I thought. He wasn’t even moving. He had toppled over the vase we had super glued together after that one day that caused this day. He sat on the floor, crisscross-legged, his head hanging in his hands. His face was clenched and he was thinking hard. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked. I sat on the side of my thigh, straightening my skirt. “Why are you so dramatic?”
“Dramatic?” he growled. “What do you call our life?! Rosalie? Can you answer that?”
“Why can’t you just be happy that you have somebody?”
“I want to keep that someone. Not kill her!!”
“She wants to be with you! YOU! Okay?”
“I get that... But why does it have to be me? She needs someone who can always be there and doesn’t have to be safe.”
“Oh brother, don’t even go there.” He looked up and stared at me confusingly. “You’re the one for her, Edward. There is no explanation for that kind of love.”
“But still...”
“Shut up. Be thankful you have her. Take her in, please her. Be the one she wants. Don’t fight it. You’ll never be happy if you let her go.”
“I’m scared.”
“You’re making it scary. Love isn’t terrifying.”
His voice was beginning to calm down and it was easier to be reasonable. “No... I’m scared for her. Not of her.”
“Edward.” I waited until he looked at me. “If you hadn’t last this long with such emotion and understanding, do you think that wouldn’t mean anything? She was made for you. You were made for her. There is a reason why you were to be chosen for the kind of lifestyle you have lived in. It’s fate. If you had died back when you were suppose to, you would have never met her. She would have been with Jacob and because she isn’t, you were probably made so he couldn’t have killed her. You are her destiny. Edward, she loves you so much. Don’t lose that. You’ll never find it again.” He was speechless, and I was out of words. But there was another voice.
“She’s right.” We both looked up and Bella was standing in the doorway quietly. I knew what was coming so I looked back at him and thought, “Edward,” he focused on me for once. “Listen to her. Don’t think of what to say next to defend her innocence.” I gave him a questionable stare and he nodded once. I smiled at the progress I had done today.
I got up and gave Bella a little smile. “Thank you,” she whispered. I walked away feeling proud. I stopped in the doorway of the dining room. Everybody had left but Emmett who sat at the far end of the dining table. I cleared my throat and he looked up quickly.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Well I’m waiting for you, love.” He flashed me a grin and rushed to me. “I heard everything you said to Edward.”
I groaned. “I’m sure everybody else did to.”
“Bella did to.”
“Yeah, I know.”
He grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Let’s go somewhere.” But before I could respond I was cradling in his arms and we were looking out in a horizon.
“Where are we?” I asked astounded.
“Umm... I don’t really know. But I can sure pick a place, huh?” He sounded pleased with himself.
)))))))
“Edward...” He scooted up against the wall and set his elbows on his knees. I didn’t know if he was trying to get away from me but I sat up against his stomach and he wrapped his arms around my waist, placing his chin on my shoulder. His cool breath soothed me and I hoped I warmed him. “Why are you scared to be with me?”
He exhaled and sighed. “Baby... I love you. I will love you forever and I am absolutely confident to say that. And I’m not scared to be with you. I’m worried for you to be with me.”
“Haven’t we already been through this?” I was almost mad. I couldn’t take another broken heart.
“Please let me explain. When I left it was for you. But I’m staying now for you. But... honestly, I’m staying mostly for me. I can’t be away from you. I want you so much Bella that it’s impossible for me to take a step away from you. And that really concerns me because what if one day... that goes too far? I could hurt you. And I could kill you. And I would be the next to die.”
“I would rather die in your hands because it would have been for a reason.”
“Don’t you ever say that,” he hissed.
“If I can’t speak the truth I won’t talk at all.” I was being demanding. I had to be. I wouldn’t let him leave me. I would make him see how much I needed him. And he could see that I know once he kissed my neck. “Please don’t leave me...” I begged. A tear rolled down my cheek. I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“I’m so sorry...” He was in pain.
“Don’t be sorry. Promise me. Promise me you’ll never let me go. Promise me you won’t let me die.”
“They won’t get a mile close to you.”
“Not THEM! ... Death....”
There was silence. It lasted for fifteen minutes and twenty seconds. I couldn’t help but to count. I was terrified what his answer would be. I didn’t know if it would have been a defense or a comment or if he would have pushed me away and ran. But he did answer.
“I promise.”
)))))))
I couldn’t tell where we were. Where our home was, it was just barely morning. But now, the moon was high in the sky and the stars were twinkling. The body of water lightly rippled out in different directions and glistened in the strip of moonlight. The mountains were extraordinary under the pure white snow and ending in green, feathered trees. The warm air helped me feel comfortable but when Emmett wrapped me in his arms, I really believe I could have fallen asleep if I wasn’t dazzled by the scenery.
“So... why did you give that speech to lover boy?”
I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder. “I wanted to make somebody else happy before I could make myself happy.” He picked me up with one arm and placed me on the ground where we faced each other. We weren’t touching and he looked hurt. Rejection washed over me... The worst pain I had ever felt... “What did I do?”
“Y-You’re...” he stammered with his words. “You’re not happy?”
And then I smiled. “I was thinking about that while I was talking to Edward. And sometimes...” I got on my knees. “You just need to...” I started crawling to him slowly and, hopefully, seductively. “What’s the word I’m looking for? ...forget everybody else... and make yourself happy.” I was just in front of him and so I slid my hands across his hard chest... over his broad shoulders... around his neck... and down his back to pull him closer to me. I wrapped my legs around his waist gracefully. “And baby you make me happy.” And in that instant he kissed me. Aggressively I must add. And I wasn’t gonna complain. “And I know now... that I have been upset all these years because I was scared I could still lose you.”
He placed my hand over his heart and held it there, looking into my eyes and I wouldn’t dare look away. “I promise... that I will never leave you and I will defiantly never ever let you go.”