I was sixteen and didn't believe I could get pregnant.
Life has a way of proving you wrong.1
Two months, sick, far from home on a dumb jazz band trip. I carried my double bass, too big for me to begin with, skinny stunted thing that I was, through the snow. I didn't smoke pot in the hotel bathroom with the other girls. I just slept, and closed my eyes every minute to help the nausea pass.2
Four months, still sick, now crying, alone. I had nothing in common with those other kids. All my friends had dropped out. Or weren't speaking to me anymore. I did nothing but cry.3
Around six, seven months, the familiar little tickle in my now gorgeously round belly made me smile. I'd remember, with a gasp, my blood is yours. Your flesh is mine. But at the same time, here is something new, so incredibly different forming and living within me. I love you because you are not me.4
The entire time there's guilt, and sadness, and never-ending loneliness. But what beauty in between- the flutter of my secret little fish deep within me. Tiny fists, tiny eyes, tiny belly and nose and ears. All imagined at this point. Yes, there was the sonogram, but really, much to abstract for me to believe in. I had to see you squirming, living, breathing outside of my body. And of course, you came.5
I don't remember that day nearly enough. I recall the exhaustion. All night in the hospital with the devil machines surrounding me, humming, beeping, flashing, strapping me down and how could I sleep? I wasn't allowed food or drink, either. That morning, I don't know if it was my desicion or not to put the Pitocin in my IV. All I know is that within that hour, god it began to hurt.6
They put something else in my IV, something murky and strange. The highest I've ever felt- I remeber astonishment at the pink elephants that were actually crawling accross the hospital wallpaper. How cliche! But it still hurt, and I let the world know it. A bellowing sixteen year old strapped to the hospital bed, terrible, terrible sound and pain and life blood.7
It's an ache. Like your backbone grinding, your hips splitting, The menstrual cramps you felt since middle school, magnified a trillion times by the life ignited within you.8
Once I screamed. The doctor made an incision, and a sound of pain I never knew I was capable of ripped from my clenched, parched lips. I looked up at his bald head between my legs. A splatter of blood covered his face and gold-framed glasses.9
"I forgot she didn't have any anesthetic."10
Fuck you, man. 11
But then there you were, and everything dissolved. The white, the nurses, the sterile, the metalallic beeps, the pain, all gone in an instant. I don't know anything that went on except for you, beautiful, perfect, so small and breathing, all on your own. "He's beautiful," is what I sighed, sobbing, though I don't remember it. I was crying and blissful. Me and my baby slept immediately. We were tired and sore the next two or three days.12
And here he is now- "mommy, uppy."13
He used to be only a little raisin, a tiny old man, a wrinkled bald larva. God, now he's a boy.14
It's the one thing that changed my life.15
Now I can love.16
I know what love is- labor, pain, ache, sorrow, joy, tears, bliss and life.17
Would I do it again? Hell yeah. I can't imagine it any other way.
A contest entry
- Baby, Oh Baby! by ExpectingMommy18.
225 points, ended June 14, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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excellent
Excellent story. Good pacing and structure. I would have liked to seen it be alittle longer though. I liked how descriptive it was, it almost made me feel like I was crapin' a little brat outta me! The style and pacing of the story also makes me think, perhaps is this a true story? If not, it shurely does feel like one, which is awesome. You can feel the emotion coming out of it.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 2, ending: 3, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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Heheh... yup, true story. Definitely needs to be longer, but I'm already starting to forget the details... sigh... wierd.
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Very nicely written. It was very realistic, and I really liked how you worded everything.
I also liked the Fuck you man lol
Also the change of time was very smooth, so good job on that too =] -
Great
I really loved the way you wrote this. The tone and description; you wrapped it all in so nicely. This was a fantastic story and you definitely deserve that gold.
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This is so well written!!! It's amazing how you include all the most important aspects or pregnancy and birth, without going overly into detail. I applaud you.
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WOW!!! nicley done! very realistic! I had a baby and yes, you're so right about it all, as i read it a flashback of my delivery started to play again in my head...the most painfully wonderful experience I'd ever had!!! Gread job describing it so well, keep up the good work!
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W-O-W. That's all I can say dude. W-O-W.
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this story is beautiful. There's nothing more I can say.
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I really like this story, it is fast but it is rather engaging
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It was really rushed. I had a toddler trying to get my attention about half-way through, so I kinda churned it out fast as possible. Will try to work on the pace when I get the chance- thnx!
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Wonderful story! I could feel the love and the pain! Very well written!
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this was beautiful and very well written
i think u r very strong because i for one had an epidural....they used pitocin and even had to break my water i couldnt handle the pain -
this was beautiful. really and truly.
fucking fantastic job.
gibson
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agreed. totally.
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I was hoping you'd read it after I edited it ^_^ but thank you so much love!
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Amazing
I really felt the emotion flowing through this piece. It came from somewhere that (as a man) I can never understand.
At times it was sad, painful and even terrifying. That it ended with a pure unadulterated love was the most beutiful thing of all.
Really accomplished writing here.
What more can I say?
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I figure a really hard kick in the balls comes close. I don't think that men can't understand. It's the love that matters, anyway.
Thanks a lot tho- this wasn't well thought out at all. At least I know I've got a great beginning now, eh?
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