The Pasta Case

Detective Walagash surveyed the scene through slanted, thin eyes.1

"Can I get a bottle of Snapple in here, somebody?!"2

He barked orders at them like they were children. In a minute, they would be.3

"I'm going to the bathroom," he told the captain, who seemed relieved to end his interrogation.4

"But I'll be back in forty minutes to ask you some more questions."5

Walagash knew that the captain was hiding something, but his present state of mind alone was no match for the defenses and scattered bits of his subject's thought.6

Closing the bathroom door, the Detective produced a bag of Psylocibe Mexicana- short, white, small, dumpy. Some of the most effective of their kind.7

There is something about eating mushrooms alone, by yourself, that feels unreal. Like eating a food you're allergic to, you know something will happen. You don't exactly know what, though. Always something almost unnoticeable, but then-8

Detective Walagash was eating lunch when he noticed everything was a very bright shade of turquoise. He dutifully paid and stepped outside, where he saw tiny multicolored tendrils on every corner of everything. He saw perfect circles around every light. But most importantly, he thought- most importantly, he could-9

"Of course he wants me. Look at me, I'm beautiful." The woman walking by, talking on her cell phone, did not even look at Walagash.10

"He only wants you because you're beautiful."11

The Detective gave her a stern look.12

"Excuse me? Do I even know you?"13

She strutted away.14

When Walagash got back to the captain's cabin, the light was on. The door was halfway open, and the captain was reading a note.15

"Excuse me, Don."16

The captain reeled around in his chair. 17

"Can you not just come in-"18

"Whats that, captain? That note. Yes. What is that?"19

The captain hesitated, but handed it to Walagash.20

I got your girl. Meet me tonight at 9, same place.21

Bring your money.22

Take out your piece, and I'll shoot you up. 23

"Captain. Which girl is this?" Walagash looked deep into the captain's eyes. "Who is she?"24

The answer came trembling- "there is no girl."25

"What? Don, be reasonable. Don't try to handle this by yourself. This one may involve the same guys as last time."26

"I'm telling you, there is no girl. This is nothing, Detective. Not linked. Not even a girl."27

"Where are you meeting this man? How much does he want?"28

"I told you detective- stay out of this! This has nothing to do with anything, and I don't want you snooping around in my personal business!"29

Walagash looked at the captain with his parenting eyes. 30

"I'll see you then, then."31

"Get out of here, detective! Out! Out of my sight! Don't you follow me!"32

As the detective turned to walk out the door, he realized there was no girl, really, there was none.33

Captain Donald DeBillo was a heroin addict.34