We were all alone and, for tonight, the beach and the ocean belonged to us. Though the sun had set hours ago, the midnight air was still humid and left our cloths sticking to our bodies, but the gentile breeze that carried the scent of the ocean gave some relief. As we walked in silence down to the shore, the sand was rough and warm under our feet. Holding hands along the way, we kept our steady pace, reaching the water's edge, where the sand was cool and damp between our toes.1
As the waves crashed on the beach, reaching out to touch the tips of our toes, I turned to look at her. Seeing her usual pale blue eyes grow dark with passion made the heat rise in my cheeks. I was nervous; I had never been with a woman before.2
I watched as she slowly pulled her T-shirt over her head and tossed it to the side, leaving her breasts bare to the pale moonlight. Hooking her thumbs in the top of her light blue Daisy Duke's, she slipped them over her hips, allowing them to slide easily to the sand. Standing there, naked, she reached up to unclip her hair and let the long, black tendrils cascade down her back. All of this seemed like a dream to me. I was too afraid to touch her; afraid that, if I did, I might shatter this beautiful illusion.3
Just as if she had read my thoughts, she reached out and placed her hand on the back of my head, curling her fingers in my short blond locks. Leaning in, her breasts lightly grazing my own, she gently kissed my lips, then my chin, trailing all the way up my jaw line to nibble and suck on my ear.4
I closed my eyes to take in this moment; her warm, wet tongue licking and nibbling at my ear lobe sent shivers down my spine. The air seems to be getting warmer, or maybe it's just me. I could feel the heat rising as I was becoming more and more aroused. Then, abandoning my ear, she started a circling motion with her tongue down my neck to my shoulder....and bit.5
"Oh God" I moaned, as I grabbed on to her hips to steady myself, afraid that my knees would buckle.6
I wanted to be taken right then and there but, before I knew it, she backed away and smiled mischievously. Leaving me there with my head spinning, body tingling and completely aroused, she started walking into the water.7
With a wag of her finger and a little smile, she beckoned me to follow. 8
Author notes
i had said before that i had wanted to expand on my poem The Beach and, well, this is it and its my first attempt at writing a story. i hope you like it and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated thanks
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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wow babe... this is great work so far... i can't wait till you finish it.. although, when you move here we could actually finish ourselves... i know a nice little spot where we could go after dark and act out part one and finish the story for ourselves and then you could write it!!! i think you are an extemely creative writer and i love the way your mind works... i cna read your work over and over again and never get sick of it... maybe i am a bit biased, but as a person with an english degree i would think i have a bit of knowledge... but at the very least i know what i like and i love your work as well as you baby... great job... can't wait to finish it with you!!!
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thanks, im glad that you liked it. yea its a short story, there's gonna be more to it once i finish writing it. i've kinda put it off cause i've been so busy with school but ill try and work on it.
Hidden Angel
Edited on Oct 14, 7:22 p.m. because ''. -
very good
nicely written
enjoyed reading this
keep on writing
(is there a rest to it??)
i thought this was more of a story than a poem
Edited on Oct 14, 7:17 p.m. because ''. -
wow. what a great beginning to a story that i really want to finish reading. i love how you convey the hesitation and concern, it brings us right there into the story. you've got a knack for this, i hope you stick with it. blessings...
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dont worry.... there will be more. i dont know if it will be ready for the contest though, ive had a lot goin on but ill work on it.
Ashely
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You should definitely keep working on this...I would like very much to know what becomes of these two, where they came from and whether or not this love play will result in something more. Good luck in the contest.
-Shae Lynn- -
This was a wonderful start, but it seemed incomplete, it was sexy and sweet erotic and innocent all in one, the descriptions have a really good basis, but I would like to see them expanded on a little, for instance wht was the other girl wearing, what brought them to this moment on the beach? Great grounding though, good luck in the contest.
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ack! you're stopping THERE?! hahaha talk about build up. what you've got is great, but it needs to keep going, please continue hahaha for the contest's sake. and mine! ahaha
thanks for entering
julie -
good
i agree with listen, its a great intor and the second part would be great -
this is really sweet,but it seems a lot like an intro to a story.i would really like it if you continued to work on this.remember,2 entries are allowed.so if you come up with the next part to this,that would be fun to read.thanks for entering and good luck.
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