It's a Silly Time to Learn to Swim When You Start to Drown

You look stunning today, I thought to myself as I saw her. My mind began to race, I felt my heart beat faster as she walked towards me. My palms grew wet with sweat; she made her way towards me and I caught her scent in the air, god only knew how much I wanted her to be mine. She stopped before me and smiled, I noticed how her head turned slightly to one side when she smiled, I found it adorable. She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek, I would’ve held her longer but the fear of her catching my ideas increased the panic in my body. She slowly pulled away and I let my hands drift away from her hip. “Hey” she said to me, again she smiled, “H-hi, hi there” I stupidly managed to say. Why had I always been so stupefied around her? It was as if her presence made me literally weak in the knees, except that feeling spread all over me, my mind, my legs, my arms, and mouth. 1

I began to wonder if she noticed me thinking off, I quickly thought of something to ask, “How are you?” I questioned, “I’m great thanks for asking! And you?” her kind eyes melted my heart; if she only knew how much I wanted her, how much I needed her. “Oh, um, I’m doing alright, you know in and out” I laughed slightly at my words. The bell rang with a sharp sound to my ears, she was leaving and I had wasted her time, was this what happened every morning? “Well, I guess its time for me to go, have a good day okay?” she said, “Right sure, you too!” I shouted above the loud noises my friends were making. I watched her walking off, everything about her seemed too natural, too perfect, I felt the slowing of my heart beat and the disappointment sinking in. 2

The day passed slowly, throughout the first hours I thought about her, about her smile and her smell and her beauty. My friend was talking to me “Hey, I saw you with her today, how was it?” most of them knew, knew about my feelings for her, all except for him, the boy across the room. I knew the way he felt about her, she might’ve wanted him, who knew, I sure didn’t, but I didn’t think it was right, he wasn’t right, not for her. I knew what I felt for her surpassed the feelings he had, I was in love and he was just, well falling for her.3

The hours passed ever so slowly, I passed class through class still day dreaming about her. For just a moment my mind snapped out of its paralyzed state. My friend was talking to me in class, “Hey, you there?” she chuckled, “...Huh? Oh um, yea sorry, I uh, I’m going to the bathroom!” I walked out of my seat and towards the professor, she knew what I had to ask, it was always during this class I made my short walk to the restroom. I took the pass from her hands and left the room.
Outside the air seemed lighter, less tense, the atmosphere inside the room was heavy. I had always found myself out of place, like everyone around me was a fool and I was the only one who saw this, well everyone except for her. I understood her, I knew her, and I had felt what she’d felt. We had so much in common I had feared to tell her. I shook my head to release the foolish thoughts. Making my way down the halls I saw students pacing, they reminded me of stray cats, animals searching for their home, this sure wasn’t it.
I stopped short at the bathroom door, I had always felt a nerve wrecking feeling before the door, as if I were to walk in and someone I knew would be there, waiting. Telling myself to relax I took in a deep breath and walked in, I turned the corner and my heart stopped, there she was by the sink, the last person I would want to meet here.
My mind began to race, my breath slowed as I stopped breathing, maybe she hadn’t seen me and there was still a chance to escape… “Hey!” she said “Funny meeting you here huh?” she laughed shyly at her own words, my body began to feel warm, her laugh was amazing, I wondered if there were a way to bottle it up and keep it forever. “Hey there, what’s up?” I replied. I made my way towards the sink next to her, releasing the cold flowing water relaxed my muscles. “I’ve missed you since this morning,” she walked towards me with open arms, without a chance to dry my hands I quickly managed to wipe them on my jacket, her hands made their way down my back, the hair on my neck was rising. I buried my head in her left shoulder, that scent, her scent that drove me crazy was all around, my heart started beating even faster, I grew aware that she could feel the heavy pounding, and with this I released her from my arms.
“Haha, you are too cute!” she giggled, “Um yea sure, thanks…” I blurted out. Looking down at my watch I panicked as I saw the time, ten minutes had passed; I said my goodbyes and stormed out. Running back to class I felt a big smile growing across my face. I walked into class and calmed myself down; just that one hug had given me an enormous amount of energy.
Taking my seat I tapped my friends shoulder, I guess she saw the excitement in my face as her next question was “You saw her didn’t you?” Was I really that readable? “No way, how di- oh...” I laughed at my apparent stupidity. “God, she is so amazing, I couldn’t feel my body the entire time!” I started rambling. “Wow, you are such a looser” she snickered under her breath. I turned away and organized my things, students from class were filing out of the class now, I followed slowly behind them, still thrilled by my experience.