I'm Still Here

His warm words still echoed in my head.1

You're special Annie, and I want nothing more than to spend this life with you......2

I tossed and turned in my bed in the sweltering Arizona heat. I wished to be anywhere but Phoenix. Anywhere but this small rundown town where everything I once had slowly slipped through my fingers.3

I couldn't keep my eyes closed. Every-time my lids slipped shut, I saw the all too vivid image of him, the one person I loved more than the life I was given. The life I no longer wanted without him. 4

The way you make me feel is indescribable.. it's like walking through a blooming forest at the dawn of spring. When everything is fresh and growing. When it's all so beautiful. That's they way I feel when I'm with you.5

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I sobbed. I chucked the pillow across the room and watched it drop the ground...6

Along with my heart.7

Nothing was the same since the accident. No one treated me the same, including myself. All I could do was pray for a miracle. Well, that and wish that the man who shot him would be tortured in the worst ways possible. 8

I let the tears roll down my cheeks for a while. The night was the only time I was truly alone; just me and the moon. It was the only time I let my guard down fully, and gave my all into my crying. The night was safe...9

Or so I thought..10

The soft tapping came from the window across from my bed. I could see the figure of a boy from behind the glass. I was almost positive it was..11

"Annie... Anne, it's me!" Marco's gentle voice called. He knocked on the window a little more harshly this time. He was holding something... possibly brownies? They smelled enticing. 12

I scrambled over to the window and clicked the small two latches, lifting up the glass and the screen. Marco handed me the plate of brownies and clambered into the room, falling on his ass in the process. He was wearing his pajamas, blue plaid pants and his favorite "Smooth like butter" shirt. Even I had to admit, he was adorable. It was hard to think of him as hot, considering he's been my best-friend since we were six. 13

"I thought you might like those." He smiled, gesturing to the plate of brownies I was now unwrapping. I'd never been more eager to eat something in my life. I grabbed one off the sheet and bit into it quickly. 14

"Why did you decide to come at 2 in the morning?" I questioned. 15

"You know, just in the neighborhood." He joked. He plopped down on the bed. I could feel him watching me in the dark.16

"I can't see a thing in here. You're like a bat Anne." He complained. I saw the black figure which I guessed was his hand move for the lamp on my night-table.17

"No! Marco don't!" I yelled in a hushed tone, but I couldn't stop him from turning on the lamp and exposing my tear streaked face.18

"Oh Annie...." He whispered. He got up from the bed and hurried over to me. I loved the way his arms felt around me. I couldn't help the tears that followed my sniffles. 19

"I miss him so much!" I cried into Marco's shoulder. We slid down to the floor, leaning against my wall. I clutched his shirt with my hand and buried my face in his chest. I never let my guard down like this, not even with him. Only with...20

The pain in my chest was unbearable. I almost doubled over.21

"Make it stop Marco! Make the pain go away!" I cried harder than I ever had. More than I ever had when I was alone. Now I was admitting he was gone. I was admitting that he was never coming back. Ever. This was the end of us. 22

"Shh Annie. Just breathe." He stroked my hair gently. "Just breathe."23

I then heard the thunder clap outside my window. The rain pelted down on the house. I could the tapping of the drops on the shed's metal roof. There was lightning and thunder the night....24

I sobbed uncontrollably. I cried in agony. My world was gone. It had deteriorated quickly. I had nothing more. I was nothing. My body shook in Marco's arms. My head whirled. The room was spinning around me. I couldn't keep up with my heavy breaths, which came out in irregular spurts. This was more than a panic attack...25

This was dying26

Marco put a finger under my chin and wiped away the remaining tears. He held me incredibly close. This was the only place I could want to be right now. In this moment, at this time. I couldn't ask for anything else, except to have him back.27

"Sh, Annie, I'm still here." Marco murmured as he picked me up and strode over to the bed. He laid me down, then plopped down next to me. "I'm still here." He assured me once again. I turned around to face him. His blue eyes shone compared to the dim lamp. "If only there was a way for me to take your pain." He groaned, wiping more tears from my face. I didn't know what to say after that. I knew he cared, I knew he wanted to care; and that was enough for me. 28

"I can't do this." I cried. I curled up next to him like a kitten, letting the tears flow. The crying never seemed to stop, not even after all of this time.29

"Annie." Marco began. He brushed the hair out of my face and rested a hand on my cheek. "You're a brave, beautiful, fucking hilarious, and loving girl. You'll make it in this world just fine. I know it hurts that he's gone, and that's going to take some time."30

I was shocked at how comforting his words were. I couldn't believe he understood me so well. Even as best friends, we were never like this. Never this close...31

"You know, Annie, there are a lot of people in this world who care about you." He smiled at me. I was at a total loss for words. I just curled up closer to him and cried it out. 32

"Marco?" I called, breaking the long, but sweet silence.33

"Hm?" He asked. His eyes were closed, but he still rubbed my back soothingly. 34

I reached over and grazed his lips. I threw my arms around his neck and pushed my lips into his. Marco's lips were warm and inviting, just like his. Their touches were the same too. Their arms felt the same way around me. It reminded me of the nostalgia I had for his kisses. 35

I could then feel the tears spring from my eyes. They weren't sad, however. I was happy. For once in a long time, I was truly happy. I had found what I needed, what I wanted.36

Marco finally pulled away from the kiss. He still held my waist. His eyes shimmered, and I couldn't help but smile at him. He smiled right back at me. 37

"He's still here." I whispered, looking down at my feet. Marco pressed his forehead lightly against mine, and for an instant I felt like we were one. 38

"We're still here." Marco whispered softy in my ear, making my goosebumps rise, and I couldn't help but let him kiss me again.