Her silken toe shoes1
guided her lightly2
across the rose covered3
floor 4
Her hair was pulled5
back tightly, not6
a single strand out7
of place8
Pirouette, Pirouette9
and leap…completed10
perfectly11
The smile upon12
her face telling13
you how much she14
loved this 15
feeling dancing gave 16
her17
The glisten of her18
eyes letting 19
the audience know20
that this was her 21
life22
..dancing..23
Author notes
Let me know what you think.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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hey sarah...havent talked to you in a while....great poem..i really liked it..later
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I like the title as well, gives it a delicate conotation which goes quite well with the poem, the description was well done, as I could see most of it. Only thing I would say, is a little more imagery about the place she's in, stage presence. Otherwise, very well done. Take care.
-m- -
That was good, now i'm going to attempt to find out what a Pirouette is, keep writing,
Josh -
Aww this is such a cute poem! It's so pretty!! I really liked it! Great job!
**Hannah -
Most of the points that break (separating the stanzas) are where there is only one word on the line..I think that there is one that has two words..but yeah. If that needs correcting, let me know!
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that's a really good poem, short and sweet. I think the title's good, the one thing that confused me in the poem was the lack of punctuation, it was difficult to tell where one thought ended and the next one began. But once Ifigured it out it worked very well.
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Hehe...Why does the beginning sound sooooo familiar?
Sorry I didn't respond to your question sooner...I've been beyond busy and oh so stressed by my stupid journalism teacher....I am in Freestyle 4 but I'm testing in December. USFSA, I'm Pre-Juv...I think...Maybe Juv....It's been so long since I've tested...My flip jump nearly killed me...
Great poem...Loved it
!~YS4e~!
Scarlett
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I love the title. I think it could use maybe a final, strong concluding sentence. Perhaps it's just me who thinks that though. I thought it was great, Sarah...you're great at all this poetry business...DOLL...
Just kidding. Write some more, you loser. Enjoyed this one...
Jackie -
i really like the title! and the poem, too! i used to take dance, and i loved it. especially the recital at the end of the year. i didn't like my dance teacher though. so i stopped taking dance. lol. anyways, great job very pretty.
Lei -
Wow! This was really good, Sarah! I can relate to this... and I'm sure you can too! Lol. Keep writing, you haven't in so long! Which sucks because you're so good! You really "painted a picture" however corny that might sound. Lol. Good job!
~*Samantha*~
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