Now, happily engaged, they had moved into a tiny apartment with a ceiling that leaked all day, spiders that scuttled all over the green shag carpet and a kitchen that provided the bare essentials: sink, stove, oven, and cupboards stuffed full of crackers, white tea, canned meat and chocolate-covered pretzels: Elle’s weakness. Keeping up with rent was tough, for Paul had to work 2 jobs plus graveyard shift in order to pay for Elle’s sophisticated taste in shoes, all of which she kept hidden under the bed like sex toys. 2
The thigh-high black boots were her favourite. She loved how the black leather creaked with each delicious sway of her lovely hips, the way Paul’s eyes bulged like Bugs Bunny’s whenever she did a little strip tease for him or sprayed whipped cream all over the luscious buffet of her breasts. Elle was often nude, even when they had friends over, for she never understood why people should be ashamed of what God gave them. 3
Countless men, all of them sculpted like marble statues, had buried their cocks inside her, had fucked her tight pink hole until it turned into jelly and swallowed every inch of throbbing meat; never sated, never ashamed of its hunger. 4
“I need to feed the beast”, Elle giggled. She tickled the thick, swollen pink lips of her blonde-haired monster. 5
Paul rolled onto his stomach, tortured by Elle’s languid waltzing. He licked his lips like a cat that couldn’t wait to pounce on its hapless prey. 6
“C’mere and fuck me, baby”, he purred in his deep, throaty voice, oozing masculinity as he flexed his sleek abdominal muscles. Paul was tall, lanky, and almost angelic with his bright green eyes and sensual mouth that was always wet, kissable, and delicious to look at. 7
He gripped the lilac sheets with large, calloused brown hands and and sighed, his climax building as he rubbed his cock furiously against the damp, silken fabric. Paul’s sensitive head pulsed painfully with each urgent thrust, his balls swollen and engorged along with his huge dark cock. 8
“I fucking hate you, Elle. Am I not good enough? I hope you get cervical cancer and die so I don’t have to put up with your bullshit anymore. Who’d you fuck last night, hmm? Was it that slimeball lawyer Mr. Reed? The engineer with the scruffy face? Or was it Bruce: that cute little sophomore who used to mow our lawn? You better explain yourself, bitch, or I’ll take one of those fat nipples between my teeth and rip it clean off!”9
“Actually, I blew a random black guy when you were at work.” Elle stated matter-of-factly. She studied Paul’s surprised face, relishing his jealousy and excitement as she twirled a lock of raven hair around her dainty finger. 10
“He asked if I wanted to come over for a drink and I said sure, why not? He was sweeter than cherry pie so I sucked him off real good, kinda like those mr. Freezies I used to suck all the time to control my sugar cravings. I have a terrible sweet tooth. Too bad you couldn’t watch me, Paul. This bastard had 9 inches of greased black cock shoved down my throat and I was working him like a pro!” 11
Her blue eyes gleamed like a promiscuous schoolgirl’s; exciting him further.12
“Wanna deep throat me?” Paul asked, unmindful of a huge gray spider that scuttled under the bed. 13
He was hypnotized by Elle’s long, shapely legs that were so smooth and graceful, tan muscles flexing as she sleazily walked towards him. The vanilla scent of her skin mixed with the pungent musk of her moist sex was enough to make Paul get down on his knees and beg like a dog. He thrust his strong, slender hips lewdly in her direction. Unfurling his legs he prepared for the best blow job of his life. 14
Eyes closed, lips twisted into a feral grin of desire, he jolted when warm, butter-soft hands caressed his vulnerable thighs. The elegant hands slid lower, teasing the coarse black hairs that surrounded his aching organ. A feverishly hot set of lips enfolded the swollen head of his meat and Paul moaned from the torturous suction. 15
Elle traced the prominent, spidery veins that were spread out like treasure maps underneath his sensitive, gloriously thin flesh, licking and wrapping her experienced tongue around the base before working her way back up. His body quaked violently from the intense pleasure and his mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water: helpless, crying for release. 16
“Cum for me”, Elle whispered, her voice muffled from Paul’s obscene length, and with one last tug he exploded into her waiting mouth. 17
X18
Two hours later, it was pouring rain. The silvery droplets pounded against the dirty windows--hard enough to crack the glass--and made soft, gentle little pit-a-pat noises on the roof like mice feet. 19
Elle lifted her head from Paul’s hard, smooth chest, a jet-black tangle of hair braided over one narrow shoulder. She rose from the bed and stretched, yawning. 20
Paul followed Elle with his predatory eyes as she tiptoed down the hall, her round, heart-shaped buttocks bouncing with each step. The gold hoop earrings jingled pleasantly as she rummaged through the kitchen for something to eat. 21
“There’s nothing but stale crackers and canned shit!”22
Elle sighed; annoyed that they were out of chocolate-covered pretzels. 23
“What gives? Why do we have no food in this cockroach apartment?”24
“Because the spiders ate it all”, Paul replied, grimacing when, as if on cue, the same fat gray spider emerged from under the bed, its fangs poised like daggers as it rose up on bristly back legs. 25
“Little fucker...” 26
He picked up Elle’s “The Shining” hardcover and dropped it on the spider. It made a loud, satisfying CRUNCH; the sound gruesome. 27
“That’s what you get for gobbling up my fiancee’s pretzels!”28
“Um, Paul, who are you talking to?” 29
Elle stood in the doorway, stark naked and gorgeous. She had the black leather boots back on, her creamy, supple skin incandescent in the moonlight. The way her obsidian hair fell around those perfect shoulders reminded Paul of the Elvin warriors he used to read about in fantasy novels. 30
They locked eyes for a moment, ocean blue mesmerized by luminous green, mouths slightly agape yet unable to produce speech. Finally, after for what seemed like hours, Paul decided to break the ice:31
“Nick’s throwing a party on Friday, want to go? Dave will be there.”32
“Davey...?” 33
Elle’s lips curved into a broad, dazzling smile, showing off straight white teeth. 34
“Since when does that guy go to parties, let alone NICK’S parties?”35
“I don’t know, maybe he needs a break from church?” 36
Davey Holden was twenty-eight, a music director at the small community church Paul attended, and Elle’s best friend. He was like the big brother she never had; always there for her when Paul wasn’t around just to make his life miserable. Whenever they went to church Elle dressed up real nice. She’d push out her cleavage and flip her black hair just so, ruby lipstick applied with a knock-out pair of red spiked heels to match. 37
Paul knew that she adored Davey. Elle would suck his dick in a heartbeat and probably do more graphic and sexually morbid things with him then Paul in a million years. Just the thought of his little bimbo fucking Church Boy’s holy brains out made his cock spring to life. In truth, Paul loved seeing Elle act like a dimestore hooker once in a while: it turned him on. If she wasn’t drooling over Davey in church she would randomly show up at his house, uninvited, to watch movies or stay for dinner. One of the most annoying things that Elle liked to do lately was grab Paul’s arm, give it a little squeeze, and gush: “Can we adopt Davey? He’s SO cute!” 38
“Would you like to fuck someone at Nick’s party, slut?” Paul asked, trying hard to keep a straight face.39
“Oh yes”, Elle said. She glared at him expectantly. 40
“Ok, but I’m gonna change the rules this time: I want you to fuck Davey.”41
“What?” Her jaw nearly hit the floor. “But...but I can’t fuck Davey.”42
“Either that or you lose the game.”43
“Oh, so this is a GAME now?” She blurted; furious.44
“You love Davey! What’s the problem?”45
“It’s just...we’re such close friends and...Well...it’s just WEIRD.” Elle was turning pink with embarrassment. “How the hell do you expect Davey to have sex with me?”46
“Oh grow up! He’d cut off a limb just to KISS you”, Paul smirked. “It’s so obvious.”47
“Ok, fine, I’ll do it! I’ll fuck Davey Holden and tell everyone at his church that you’re the antichrist.”48
“Put on lots of red lipstick tomorrow”, Paul said. 49
“I bet he’s a better kisser than YOU”, she hissed, tiny hands curled into tiny pink fists, and flipped Paul the bird as he laughed. 50
X51
A slut—that’s all she was; that’s all she was GOOD at. Elle had spent her high school years humping every player on the football team, humping her teachers, humping her friends’ boyfriends, humping complete strangers, and even humping other women. She liked to dress up and sashay down the street in the most flamboyant outfits: princess pink ruffles with blue silk ribbons in her midnight hair. She pretended to be Cinderella when she was really the evil witch from Snow White; poisoned apple in hand. 52
Now, at twenty-two, she and Paul had agreed on experimenting with multiple sex partners with the expectation that they were disease-free, of course. After the wedding, however, everything would be different, and Elle dreaded the moment when she'd have to gaze into Paul's eyes like a starstruck teen and say "I do."
Author notes
This isn't finished...but I'd like to know if it's OK so far (worth finishing?). Otherwise I can submit something else 
A contest entry
- A Midnight Fantasy by SubKitten.
700 points, ended June 11, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Let the Sex Begin!! by Peace-Out-Chic.
276 points, ended July 21, 34 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - It's an EROTICA contest... Go figure. by MalevolentDesire.
2000 points, ended June 17, 30 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Definitely finish!
This is a very enthralling and intriguing story!
I love how you used Davey from Seventeen as a character and made it all link together! Very good (: -
Worth Finishing
How does she do Davey?? :-) Make it detailed! -
i cant wait for thr rest
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Hello Midnight Writer!
Thank you so much, sweetie.
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good job!!
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Hi Sir-tino!
Thank you.
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Now here is a character Henry Miller would love...
a slut more than Mona....please sexplore this more...beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 3, characters: 5.
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I like the opening paragraph a lot. Even though it's only a physically description, it seems to reveal a lot about her personality. Maybe it was the manicured fingers that gave it away but she seems to have this very lavish personality. She thinks highly of herself, like she deserves better then what she has. One thing about the opening paragraph, the part about her hair felt a bit jagged, maybe it's the "hair that was the glossy..."
ha. I think it's funny that she lives in such a shitty apartment when she carries around this air of luxury.
I don't know why, but the name Paul makes me laugh. I just can't take that name seriously so I had a hard time taking the character seriously but I guess in a way that's fitting.
I have to make on suggestion though. I think the two paragraphs at the end of what you have so far should be in the beginning. I was so confused when Paul mentioned her blowing the black dude and how he seemed to be jealous but not mad and then when he said she should fuck what's his face, Davey. I didn't realize that they were in an open relationship and because of that I laughed even harder at the Paul character for acting like such a jackass.
But yeah. I think you should continue this story. I'm curious about this Davey chap. I wonder if there's going to be a twist or something, like she falls in love with him, that's probably too predictable though.
by the way, I'm completely shocked that you have 200 views on this story and not 200 comments. people are such fucking assholes.
&hearts

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The two peragraphs at the end r erfect!
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Awesome work!


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okay i swear to god if you don't finish this i will a) either come through this screen and throttle you or finish for you omg it was a great story go on go on please i am begging here!
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This story was extremely intresting and could envolve in something brilliand and harsh with a very sad and depressing ending.I loved the filthy atmosphere and the honest cruel characters.I feel that the main character is lost in this world,that female could be the cause for a lot of things,for a lot of tragedies.
Very intresting,I liked it a lot.
I hope you continue this.

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If you don't finish this...I will yell at you! a lot! lol
not a good threat but what could beat your stories? nothing... so continue! -
Wow, I love the descriptions in this, so vivid and well thought out. This story is very realistic and believable. This would make for a great movie haha. It's such a devious, twisted tale of deception. And the scary thing is there are probably people like that!
You have a way with describing erotic, steamy scenes. And that is difficult, I know haha. So you get praise for that. You should finish this, it is deserving of it.

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finish it off! she's a slut, that's for sure. hope i won't see anyone like her in my life, but it's too great to not write about. just plain wonderful!


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Amazing.
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Thanks so much!
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Wow. Well of course I loved the title and the sexual description twas just awesome. I would hope that you would be continuing with this as tis quite interesting where you left off.


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Thanks, T!

As always your positive reviews encourage and inspire me to write.
Will continue this...sometime.
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This was exceptionally well written, and you left a great air of anticipation, with your descriptions, and with the telling of her history. I definitely think you need to continue this, and if the end is anything like the beginning, it'll be a knockout story.
Your use of descriptive language made the story more real, more inviting. Your spelling and grammar was great, and I couldn't see any errors at all.
I thoroughly enjoyed this story, and I hope that you will continue it, so that we may see what happens, if anything, between her and Davey.
Thank you for entering, and good luck in my contest.

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Hi MalevolentDesire!
Wow, thank you for the positive and thoughtful critique of my story
. I'm gonna try to wrap it up tonight, and make it HOT.
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damn girl... please finish this. I want to know where it leads and how it will end. will she get Davey, with they get married and continue to play games or not. this is way to hot not to finish.


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hey Enchantress!
As always, I love your inspiring reviews! Thanks so much
I'll add more when I can.
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I think that was amazing! I'd love to read more, because I'm very interested where this is all going to end up. It's a very interesting take on this kind of relationship, and a very enjoyable and hot read.


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Hi la belle gitan!
Appreciate the applause and encouraging words
. I'm glad that you enjoyed my story. There will be more, don't worry!
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