Fingers ready… Check1
Barbs of truth poised… Check2
Sturdy soapbox in position… Check3
Grammar Nazi badge square… Check4
Age and maturity… Checked at the front desk5
Let me introduce you to a simple fact of life – bad grammar, spelling and punctuation is most definitely NOT a style. To say that it is would be tantamount to declaring that ‘Emo’ is a distinct subculture with something useful to contribute to society. In fact, bad grammar is to writing what Emos are to people that really have problems – both a menace and a mockery. 6
If one were to accept the declaration that bad grammar is a style, one would also need to accept other small-minded presumptions such as aliens enjoying butt-probes or trees possessing sentient intelligence. While we are at it, we may as well donate some typewriters to some monkeys – they just might produce the works of Shakespeare after all. 7
To demonstrate the level of ‘I obviously have my head stuck up my arse and don’t care much for the sensibilities of clear communication’ opinion of those that attempt non-conformity through the blatant misuse of the English language, I present the following quote sourced from this illustrious site: 8
‘well the entire “vauge non-descriptioness and choppiness” is a style. most of the grammatical errors are probably purposely placed there. sadly, becaseu its not normal, the errors distract people who arn’t used to the style’9
There are many more examples – people that state that grammar and spelling ‘cramp their style’ or ‘try to squeeze their brain to conform like robots’. 10
Not only are these empty-headed individuals vain, but they also insist on making judgement calls – especially using the black and white rule of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – on stories written by people that do adhere to accepted grammatical standards. Even worse – meandering around the ‘why’ of the judgement call in vague terms and then ending the critique with, 11
‘…sorry bout the rant, i jus didnt like the story or the praise that it is recieving’12
If we were to accept bad grammar as a style, society may as well go all out and declare that English papers should be submitted as text messages, or that job interviews may be conducted over instant chat. 13
Maybe we can dispose of the English language altogether and just grunt at each other… wait a moment… isn’t that the teen subculture?14
Better yet, save some time and intelligence, and start contributing to the Fund for the Proliferation of Typewriters for Monkeys…15
Goodness knows they would have more ‘style’ than some pale, spotty sixteen-year old who thinks he is the pioneer of the English language.16
Author notes
For a contest:
“All Hail Betty, and the Second Coming”
Lastly, if the person quoted in this piece has the sheer dumb luck to read this and has a problem, then they can take their hate mail (poorly written on faux-stylish paper made from those sentient trees) and stick it where only aliens like to probe...
A contest entry
- Freedom of Voice: Calling all Presses! by Mag the Chodja.
175 points, ended June 15, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Rant! Rant! Rant! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! by r4gg3tyM4n.
115 points, ended July 20, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want YOU to write a rant by TheRanter.
175 points, ends November 30, 42 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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I was very impressed with this, as it is nice to see some intelligent arguments on here. I am a little confused by your comment in regards to "Emo's". I did not realise that this was a style of writing?
I will admit that sometimes I am a little lack when it comes to my grammar, in particular when it comes to capitalization on "i". I think socially it is becoming less and less important to have correct grammar. Even in professional emails some of the spelling and grammar is appalling.
Sadly enough I do believe that the English language is starting to fade and if a more prominent emphasis is put on it in education then it will fade. We don't speak or write in the same way we did in Edwardian England. Sadly it is literary evolution.
Very thought provoking. Very rarely do I find an article on here that engages me like this. -
Oh my God, I know just what you mean. The English language is vastly unappreciated and lately I've been noticing this more and more. I mean, the occasional typo is alright, but when I am talking to people and use a "big word" I usually either get a raised eye brow or someone chuckling at me about it. When correctly applied, words can be very very powerful because they provoke action, but people don't seem to care anymore. Also communication itself seems to be dwindling into texts and abreviations. Anyway, that is just my thoughts on the matter. Interesting thoughts, I'm glad I read.
What I say may be slightly deviate from the point that you were trying to make, I am just expressing the thoughts that is provoked. ^_^
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Very good, in all honesty, this is the first time, I'd found myself laughing hysterically at a rant.
As for the rant itself, I've trained myself to use 'good enough' grammar. I appear to neglect semi-colons and underscores, I use commas, full stops, brackets, elipses, capital letters... (trails off) -
Nice rant! Good luck
PG9: "becaseu"
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Hmmmm.....
You make your point reasonably well, although a purist might quibble with you own use of grammar and one or two of your assertions.
Para 6 "Let me introduce you to a simple fact of life – bad grammar, spelling and punctuation is most definitely NOT a style." Actually, it is. It may not be to your taste, and it certainly detracts from the art and form of communication; neverthelesssince it exists and follows some rules, it is, by definition, a style. Incidentally, since you mention three constituent parts of the style, it should be "are not a style", even though the style is singular. An odd example of the arbitrariness of English Grammar.
In para 7, you really let your argument down. I know that you are a trifle incensed by the low level of communicative skill in others' work, but why descend to it yourself? It does much to diminish the force and intelligibility of your own view!
Para 10 "people that state that grammar and spelling ‘cramp their style’" People WHO state... beware of relative prepositions and participles!
Para 13 "If we were to accept bad grammar as a style, society may as well go all out and declare that English papers should be submitted as text messages, or that job interviews may be conducted over instant chat." You cannot be unaware that much of this is already happening. I'm not condoning it, and I am 100% behind the preservation of good English, but the simple fact is that a large proportion of the population is barely literate, and this includes teachers, bank managers, journalists and lawyers, in all of whom we expect a high degree of literacy.
Para 14 is the best so far; pity you didn't substitute this for Para 7.
let me reiterate that I have a lot of sympathy for your point of view, but I feel that a slightly more temperate and positive approach would do more good than this. And I'm fairly sure, given your capacity to use the language, you could produce a much higher quality piece than this -
Amazing rant, it's caused quite alot of interesting comotion. I have to say I truly agree and sure some people make a valid point by saying some children don't have the opportunity to learn proper spelling and gramar, but others do have the opportunity and chose to ignore it. I'm a teen myself, and am extremely tired of having to watch my generation go down hill.
Long story short, it was a great rant with a very valid point.
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There is some truth to your rant, but typing on a web page and having 'text talk' is fine, because it short and simple, It's when they hand an assignment in and it says on the first paragraph, 'i luv romeo n Juliet, coz they hav....' you get my point...I don't see where emo's came into the picture.
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Also, I nominated this for a spot light, I hope you get it!
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The Allies won? This explains why I get such funny looks when I wear my uniform around town..
Also, and this isn't a slight against you, but you might not know, I got probed four times last WEEK. So.. you know.. it happens.
An excellent rant, I thoroughly enjoyed and agreed with it.
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you arrogant p.o.s.
sorry to tell you but the allies won the war, the nazi were defeated decisively. which means yes grammer is a good thing but, people in general have the right atleast for now till the great obama takes that away also, to write our stories, tales,poems, or anything else we choose in any form we like it to be posted. so in other words if you dont like my fing grammer go f yourself and probe yourself while you at it -
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Well, the rant doesn't say you don't have the 'right' to, it just says you're gramatically wrong if you do.
A properly written story garners much more attention than a poorly pieced together one, and if anyone is serious about their writing they should always take a step back and ask-
'Will this hurt my reader's brain?'
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also emos are KIDS with problems. think about it, how often do you see a grown emo? Emos have no where to express their problems because their problems usually deal with their parents so they can't talk it out with them. Emos range from a young kid at the age of 9 to a teen the age of 17 possibly more.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5.
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nice ..... um rant but i do have suggestions. Some people never learned how to use better grammer, and there are kids who decide to write stories. I also don't like the part where you picked on teens, for i am a teen myself.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5.
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See, but the fact is that it is largely teens who do it. And the reasoning is simple, growing up in a 'text rich' environment many people believe that simply getting the message conveyed in the shortest, quickest, way possible is acceptable, when gramatically it is not.
Rants will always target one demographic or another.
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I dont think that when someone has bad spelling takes away from stories..The story is either good or it is bad..
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The problem is that when certain words are misspelled, the meaning can be lost or misinterpreted. Good spelling and smooth grammar makes a story read much smoother.
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Good essay, and very true. Of course, people have been ranting about this forever, and if anything grammar and spelling have only become worse. I especially liked the examples given. Itz about times that pplz learned to write good!!!!!
beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5.
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I agree but not completely. In some cases, like Uncle Tom's Cabin bad grammar is there to show emphesize that slave are uneducated.
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I believe that is a completely different subject than what the author was talking about. In that case, the poor grammar is shown through dialogue. Using bad grammar in dialogue is a veeeeery different thing than using it in writing or description.
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Hey UrbanRealist,
It's said that writing should be thought provoking and this piece certainly is. The comments vary greatly with many POV. I agree with you in some respects, but I can also see what others are pointing at. I use bad grammar in dialogue all the time, as someone pointed out, people on the streets don't always speak in proper English. Emos are emos and they'll always be around and as far as the nonconformists are concerned, this country was started by a bunch of nonconformists. I think they are a necessity. My own personal favorite word that I see misused way too often is then. Billy was taller then Joe. My dad was richer then his. The word is than people. Enough from me. Good write!
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I agree with quiet a few spots in this. Bad grammar and punctuation are not styles in writing. The only reason you should be using them is if you don't know your using them in your writing. At the same time I beleive rather than scolding the person for using it, I'd try and show them the correct way and encourage them. There are very few kids in this world that actually try things like "writing" or "music" and other dreams. I think that if their actually going for it, if anyone is actually trying, then that's enough. As long as they don't get their book published in chat speak. O.o I saw one like that once and almost threw it out of the library.
Anyways great rant. points well made. It was quiet entertaining.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Nice rant.
'Style' seems to be the word many people use these days in an attempt to justify the fact that they have none. *laughs*
Writing isn't the only art form that suffers from it. You see it everywhere: music, fashion, artwork, etc.
I won't go into chat-speak other than to say 'some' young people with cell phones seem to think that is the only way to communicate now. And yes, I've seen it in stories on this site.
It's quite amusing to see someone express these thoughts in a story format.
Greg
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I most definitely agree with the contents of this narrative
; however, there are exceptions when writing fiction. The dialogue in fiction is often written in corruptive English to mimic the actual sound of certain speakers.
How much more realistic it is to ‘hear’ a Texan say, “Yah all” then for the writer to explain the fellow was from Texas and spoke funny.
As for our young—well, they have their own means of communication I remember when 'Bad' was 'Good' and everything was 'awesome' in America. Of course arse was only used by Irish writers 
and violating one was a 'Peeler's' privilege 
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I hate the small i standing alone, the u instead of you and so on 
. But just as the dot matrix printers gave way to letter perfect, these things will pass—I hope.
Good luck in the contest.
Geri
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It may not be a style and yes bad grammar can be distracting but , sometime that is what critics are for .
When one of these kids says, for someone to make a review, they would welcome the critcism and Yes, there may be spell check but the fact the kids want to write and take a try at it , is the real thing that matters. Its something that can be fixed and what can't, is losing writers that could write the latest masterpiece. The music now a days it not like the music that my parents , grand parents , and their parents , used to listen to and we all listen to whats out there now and so goes with writing. A writer, I think ,was a achiever was John Steinbeck, he went to college and they tried to tell him, how he was suppose to write and they didnt like his style and he told them where to go , quit school and went on to write, War and Peace and Grapes of Wrath, and now kids are required to read his stories in some school districts. Well your point was noted and to some extent it can be true. But to batter the writer instead of better the writer, we are not being true to ourselves. Was funny in a sense though. Thanks for your opinion.
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I adored reading that wonderful rant. Enough said. It was awesome. That was kick ass.
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Very well done, and I believe it was even written correctly...except in you quotes.
Trish
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Good Rant
Good emo/bad writing comparison. You have to remember though that some writings bad grammar in speech of someone who is supposed to be a "hood rat" or redneck will be drastically impaired as the character requires it. Writing in general though is something that should have proper grammar. Some of us teens still actually learn and use good grammar for writing.
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Bad spelling is something that really gets on my nerves and smashes all of my little nuerological buttons. Spell check isn't a hard thing to press. Grammar, it's not as bad. I write in broken sentences when I'm writing in first person, mainly because I think in broken sentences. It's weird but I do. Also, in certain situations, I feel it is okay to use improper grammar. For instance in To Kill a Mockingbird, Lee makes several different grammatic "errors," but I believe they actually enhance the story by proving the lack of urgency for education on these subjects. Her main character grew up in the Deep South (like myself) and it wasn't as important to use correct grammar in those days. Otherwise, I like to see a bit of effort.
Great job with this! Finally someone who understands! God, I dare not imagine the world of essay text messages and Internet chat-interviews... What will become of us?
As a sixteen-year-old, I see a lot of this kind of behavior and I almost always call out my friends when they use it. First of all, I don't understand. Secondly, it makes them seem ignorant. I don't believe it's a "style" so much as laziness. Will it ever benefit our youth? Nope.
(last thing I swear) You know once I actually found a book almost entirely in char speak? It got a lot of hits from the young adults section. 0.0 Terrifying.
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Nahahaha, smeggin' brilliant.
"To say that it is would be tantamount to declaring that ‘Emo’ is a distinct subculture with something useful to contribute to society." Love it.
So much burn in here. I have a few friends who I know will enjoy this one a lot.
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"Smeggin'"?
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You need to watch some Red Dwarf. That or Wiki the word.
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+1biziliun ur so kewl i luv ur rant OMG!!!11!!!11one11!!!
Well done, Urban! I love the emo/bad writing comparison. I haven't taken a poll to see if they correlate, but your parallel comparison is well done either way.
The difference between emo/mainstream and bad writing/clear writing is more than preference, sadly. I've never seen a cut-and-dried definition for emo, but it seems to be mostly made up of sensitive souls who don't want to fit in anyone's niche, so they make a niche to belong to. (Not sure how that's better. It's still a label.) But with writing, if you're writing badly on purpose/because you're too lazy to follow all of the SPaG rules, you're just hurting your own ability to be understood. I suppose that perpetuates the condition, though...
I'm curious what the "emo" generation will do when they reach the workforce. Some of them seem overly filled with self-entitlement, and that's not going to work when everyone only cares about what they think they should receive, and not what they can contribute.
If you don't contribute first, you probably won't receive. That goes for comments on this site, an honest attempt at clear, standardized communication, like the rest of the world uses, and generally all of life. The world is give-and-take, in that order.
Whining about not getting what you want won't get it for you, when everyone else is just like you. If you know this and use it to your advantage by only whining to generous people, then you're being a manipulative parasite. Yeah, like we need more of those.
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Good one. I laughed at this one,this was funny and I award you high points all around and let's see if I have enough points for the clapping hands if if I don't consider them there.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Emos are just children looking for an identity. They are a tame lot so mockery is a bit unkind.
If they were the Teddy Boys, Mods, Rockers or other violent youth movements of the past then you would really have something to moan about.
Anyway.
Adhering to basic grammer is fine.
But when you start nitpicking it becomes a substitute to actually analysing the story.
A story is either good or bad, period.
When you read the short stories of Charles Bukowski you can appreciate them as art whilst ignoring the grammatical mistakes.
I never like conformity in any of its forms, so I have to respectfully disagree with your POV.
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I like this little rant.
I like it because it is something I entirely agree with. I'm not the best in the world, or even the best on this site - hell, I'm not even the best in this group when it comes to grammar but at least I try.
I don't mind reading a story containing bad grammer so long as the author, once reviewed, takes on board the resultant suggestions and endeavours to improve.
I do NOT look forward to the day when the No 1 best seller is a novel written in chat speak/text messaging.
Your point of view is shown clearly and the sprinkling of humour enhances the point you're making.
Well done.
Lawrie
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Freedom of Voice
LMFAO!! Yes! Thank you!
They call it a 'style' now?
Good, Lord. First Emo, now this bullshit.
I completely detest the idea of non-comformity. It's so retarded. By not comforming to society, you're comforming to the non-comformists who cling to the concept like a bad taco to a street vender. They crave the attention garnered by this, feel that it makes them special, different, unique.
You're not unique. You're retarded.
Most are just too dumb and don't understand grammar, so they shield their deficiancy with the illusion of 'style'. I -loved- your emo comment, by the way. Glorious.
Your flow was very fluid, the structures of your paragraphs and points were awesome, and the color scheme seems to help bring out the vibrance of your ranty nature. Hate on, my friend. Hate on. *salutes*
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