In the vast, beautiful land of Sapphashire a great city stood. A city surrounded by a ridge of gigantic mountains. The city was thousands of years old and it was the greatest city in all of Felor. The towers and spires were so high they brushed the dismal grey clouds that drifted within the mountains. But there were all shadowed by the great tower that was the Lord's Palace. 1
This grand city was Cenos.2
This city held great power and magic within it's walls. The most extraordinary thing was that men and dragons lived here united in peace.3
Everyone was tense and restless inside the city. Dragons impatiently glided through the city's buildings. It was so silent, no children playing or babies crying, no Kanaks howling, no dragons bellowing, no one trudging through the streets. Everyone was waiting for their city's fate.4
Would Lady Jadiana give the city an heir, a ruler. Lord Hibiscus was dead but his Lady had been left bearing his child. If the child survived it would live to rule, live to protect the land from a growing threat. This child would be a Peace-Maker, the holder of all magic in Sapphashire.5
The only one who can save the land.6
A cry ran out from the Lord's Palace. A baby's cry. The midwife held the little girl up to Lady Jadiana,who lay dying.7
What is her name my Lady?'the midwife whispered softly.8
'Tiarana shall be her name. And Kanna?'9
'Yes, my lady,'10
'Send her away. Let her be safe until she is of age. Never let the enemy find her for she is the chosen one,without her the world will fall into darkness...,' Jadiana closed her eyes and her head fell to the pillow.11
Outside thousands of dragons bellowed and rose up to the sky spouting flame. Citizens of the city were full of hope once more.12
Secretly a woman crept out the palace and mounted a dragon. She held a sleeping baby in her arms and the dragon took off and glided out the city. A tiny little faerie dragon with beautiful butterfly wings sat on the woman's shoulder looking down at the child. At the chosen one.13
Author notes
Please tell me what you think so far. Do you want me to carry on?
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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wow, for only 13 this is a very good write. a very good start and i am off to read the other2. i will give better comments on those once i finish them.
Mistress Rose
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Now I have read this and the lack of quotes still confuses me, but I digress. I think I'll keep on reading this saga while I think of some new ideas and I have an idea for a character for you. Just IM me if you want to find out. You do have the potential to be an excellent fantasy writer. Just keep at it and don't ever stop thinking.
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I love this! I love how you've written it cause you instantly want to read more! It is slightly cruel of you in away cause now I kinda really want to know what happens next
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Nah, u r,...
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yep im a girl thanx 4 sayin im gud cos im not really
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Keep writing
It's an interesting begining for a story. You leave the reader wanting to know more. (I.e who are Tirana and Kanna? What is the chosen one? What is this "Growing thret" keep writing but maybe try more detail. -
2 sorry 2 say yet I didnt read the previous 1's so I wouldnt know much fer thirteen ur reazlly good thou, ur gurl right!?!? dont scream if im wrong.
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I am 13 plz say if u think i cn improve it
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It wuz...ok...not considering ur unknown age...u better not b over...13.
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I personally think you should continue because I really would like to know what happens later and how everything ties together.
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