Ones birth is an event often lost to premature memory, but my rebirth shall always reside in my memory.. The lingering odour of cordite on the air, mixed with the the thick smell of blazing wreckage, both scents burnt into my nose. Hazy visions of soldiers dashing past my beaten and bloody corpse, thinking now, would I stop to observe the cost of conflict in their position?1
That being the first memory I have, who I am and where I come from being reduced to nothing. Even now, as i stare from my window at the distance conjouring a storm, it remains a mystery, all past identity forever lost.
That being the first memory I have, who I am and where I come from being reduced to nothing. Even now, as i stare from my window at the distance conjouring a storm, it remains a mystery, all past identity forever lost.
Author notes
This was originally a story i wrote two years ago, but the version here is compleatly re-written. The original was never finished but i hope to do so with this one. I've never written in a diary/journal, and that's the sort of essence i wanted to capture while writing this, so some bits will seem a little vague, while others missing or even compleate with rich detail.This is just the first part
Comments
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If you feel that you should work on your grammar some, and you do so, then you'll have a great story that is sitting here. I think your wording is kind of bad in some places, but the story and the way you wrote this short story was actually really good, so I look forward to seeing if you improve as an author or edit this story. Message me if you feel like doing so, if you feel that you would like for me to help you.
I enjoyed this for the most part and look forward to more stories from you. I like the descriptions in this, but the wording could use a little work.
Continue writing as you may and you shall only get better. If you want to, that is. -
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Thanks for the comment, i'm unsure of how to edit the story after i've posted it.. But yeah i agree, it does need some work still... I always end up going through tons of times to change things here and there..
I was quite tired when i wrote this (4am) too so it didn't help, my girlfriend forwarded me here and i wanted to put something new up aswell as improve on something already existing..
It's been a fair while since i did something serious like this, so all in all it's not that bad..
Edit: ^_^; found the edit button... And i've made some changes, but i havn't added more yet...
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