Who Am I? ( Chapter 12 )

That whole day felt just the way it used to between us. He was back to being his old self again. That made me feel at ease. Everything felt normal again. Suddenly facing the events of the day didn’t seem like such a gruelling challenge. Nothing could get in the way of how content I felt. 1

Luca doubled me on the back of my scooter, I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly. I think that he thought my poor little scooter was a dirt bike sometimes. It didn’t take that long to get to Prospect.2

I always thought that it was a small part of town, I had never come here before. It was quite large I found out as we drove through it looking for the house. It had a less then friendly reputation to go with it.  It was hard to believe that a town like this actually existed so close the beautifulness of Sunset. 3

The houses were so old and run down, the garden beds were full of weeds, the grass overgrown, windows nailed shut and broken glass on the cracked pavements. It stunned me to think that this was the town I would have grown up in had I not been adopted. Who knows who I would be now, not that it made much of a difference I didn’t know who I was.4

I was grateful for Luca coming with me, there were a few strange people that made me feel uncomfortable.5

“This can’t be right.” I said looking at the house that stood in front of me, climbing off the scooter.  6

“Why? What’s wrong?” Luca asked squeezing my hand.7

“This just isn’t what I imagined the house to be.” I replied.8

“Are you having second thoughts?”9

“Yeah…No….Kind of….Well maybe just a little….I don’t know.” 10

“Come on you can do this. I am with you every step of the way. See look. Take a step.” He pushed.11

“What?” I laughed.12

“Take a step.” He insisted. I did as he asked. I took one step forward and he did the same. I thought that was the cutest thing, he could be so sweet.13

“See.” He said giving me a reassuring smile.14

“Let’s do it.” I smiled walking through the not so steady gate.15

“You think that someone actually lives here?” Luca said following me up the path. “It looks kind of haunted.” 16

“Oh that makes me feel so much better thanks.” I smiled and playfully elbowed him. 17

Taking a deep breath I reached out and knocked on the door. I don’t know if you noticed but I had really been trying to get my snobby way of thinking out of my head. But I couldn’t help but wonder who was going to answer the door. I was seriously expecting some smelly person in stained worn clothes, brown tear and ratty hair to open the door. 18

But I was in for many shocks that day. Minutes later the door opened, we were greeted by a elegant, sophisticated lady wearing  a pink Stephani  suit; just like the one Mum wore. Did I have the right house? She looked far too young to be my grandmother, and to old to be my Mother. 19

“Can I help you?” She said, she spoke so well.20

“Um…I am looking for Charlene Davies.” I started. 21

“She doesn’t live here anymore. I’m sorry.” She replied.22

“Well is Mrs Davies here? Any Davies family members?” I asked hoping I wasn’t pushing my luck.23

“I am Mrs Davies. What is this about? Have you got information about my daughter? Is she in some sort of trouble?” She asked with an alarmed look on her face.24

She looked so young, I couldn’t believe this, I couldn’t believe I was there. How was I going to explain it without sounding like a crazy person. Would she believe me?25

“Uh…I don’t know how to say this to you.” I said trying to find the right words.26

“This sounds kind of serious, would you like to come inside? I’ll make some lemonade.” She offered.27

“Thank you, that is very kind of you.” I said keeping hold of Luca’s hand as we walked inside behind her. She showed us to the living room.28

The inside of the house was another surprise for me. It was beautiful. It looked brand new. Why would they have a house as nice as this on the inside, but not on the outside?29

“Bet this surprises you, excuse the mess. We have only just come back and the house is in shambles.” She laughed.30

“Your house is great!” I said looking around. 31

“Oh you are to kind.” She laughed opening and closing cupboards in the kitchen.32

“Why don’t you just buy a house in Sunset? It would be easier wouldn’t it?” Luca asked.33

“My husband doesn’t like that area. He says that is full of pretentious snobs. We are hardly home these days anyway, we spend most of our time travelling the world.” she explained.34

“That would be the life.” I said clearing my throat. 35

“So there was something you wanted to talk about?” She said handing us some lemonade.36

I took a large mouthful before speaking again.37

“I was wondering if you could tell me where Charlene is. I need to find her.”38

“I’m afraid I cannot answer that. I have not seen her for 16 years and 10 months now. I barely hear from her. “ 39

“I’m the reason she took off, she left because of me.”40

“Oh honey, how can that be? You look barely 15. You weren’t even alive.” she said looking confused.41

“I was. I am her daughter, the one she was scared to tell you about.” I said.42

She dropped the glass jug full of lemonade on the limestone tiles. It smashed into pieces. 43

“Oh my lord.” She gasped. Luca rushed to help her clean up the mess. Here he was cleaning up yet another one of my messes.44

“Oh dear, look at the mess I just made, silly clumbsy me.” She said in a fluster.45

“Be careful you will cut yourself. Let me do it.” Luca insisted lifting her to her feet. “I think you need to sit down.” He added helping her onto the sofa.46

“I knew there was something about you. I don’t let strangers in, I hope you don’t think that. This town is to dangerous for me to be doing that. You look just like her.” She gasped with tears in her eyes. My eyes began to flow with tears without me even realising. 47

“You believe me?” I cried.48

“How can I not when I am staring my daughter in the face? You are her double. I haven’t seen her in since we left for France. We got back and she was gone.” she sobbed.49

I handed her the letter which I found in the box Mum had given to me.50

“That’s the letter that she left with my parents.” I told. 51

She took a moment to read it. I felt for her, I had only known her for minutes, but I felt like I knew her forever. She knew what I was going through. She was the only one that could completely understand how I was feeling. 52

“How did I not know about this?” She sighed. 53

“So you have no idea where she might be?” 54

“The last address I have is 6 months old.  I don’t know if she will still be there.”55

“So if you have an address how come you haven’t gone and seen her?”56

“We searched for her for 3 years and found nothing. She calls every now and then, but she has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with us. I don’t understand what we have done so wrong. She didn’t give us a chance to get used to the idea of you. I never knew about you, until now.” 57

“I live over in Sunset, I have all my life. I only found out about this all recently. I am so sorry that I just showed up like this.”58

“Don’t be sorry, everything makes sense to me, Hayleigh. That is such a beautiful name, she picked a great one.” She said. “I have been a grandmother for 16 years and never even known about it .” She added in tears.59

“I can go, you can pretend like I never came. This is hard for me too.”60

“I didn’t mean it like that and I don’t want that at all, this is just a lot to take in. I probably said that already.”61

“I just really want to find her.”62

“You and me both, it frightens me to think where she is or what she has become. Before we left for France she was so angry and refused to come with us. I guess I know why now. She was pregnant. She was always going to parties, failing school, getting into fights. I will give you the last address I have but I am not sure of how useful it will be. I have been hoping and waiting all these years that she would come home. I know this will sound harsh but I can’t keep doing this to myself. I can’t.” She cried. 63

The rest of the afternoon seemed to float on by with ease. We talked for hours, it didn’t feel weird it just came natural. I felt at home with her. We just seemed to hit it off. She showed me my Mum’s room which was really nice. You could tell that no one had used it for a long time. I finally got to see a picture of her. Looking at her photo was like looking in a mirror, every detail was the same, her eyes, her hair, her long skinny finger even her cute yet mysterious smile. She even looked how I felt; happy on the outside and lost and confused on the inside.64

It made me start to think about why she gave me up. Why did she look so lost? Why didn’t she give her parents a chance? I mean she was scared that her parents would freak out and force her to give me away. But yet she made that decision on her own. She gave me up herself and left town. She could have taken me with her but she didn’t .65

I thought that this trip would answer all of my questions; not create more. It gave me a few things that I was grateful for though; it gave me a grandmother, another clue and pictures of my Mother. She loved Luca to bits. They got along really well, he told her all sorts of stories about us growing up. She was such a caring lady, I was grateful for that too, I mean she could have been really horrible and told me where to go. If meeting my Mother went as smooth as this, I would be really happy. I would have nothing to worry about at all. What would be my next step though? The address that she gave me was in Pewter Point. That was miles away. Suddenly my feeling of comfort and contentment, subsided; I was scared, really scared. 66