Scars Chapter 2

By the time lunch came I was so close to running out the building and crying that it was horrible. I walked slowly to the lunch line and put my head down, everyone was staring at me and laughing.I even heard some cheerleader saying how ugly I looked.My hand came up to my face again and my fingers traced the ugly red scars that were forever marked on my skin. I was pushed foward by someone so I piled my lunch on my tray quickly and walked to an empty table.The time went by slowly and I jumped when I heard the teens all cheering and laughing.In walked about 6 teenage boys with black hoods on.They stood in a triangle formation...1

I could tell from under the hoods that they were all very pale but they all had a rosy undertone to their skin and it made them all very beautiful. They were all tall and muscled but not overly so. They looked like trouble makers, from the looks of respect everyone was giving them they were very powerful in this school. A girl with blonde hair and a mini-skirt walked over to the one that stood in front and wrapped her arms around him. He flicked his hood down and I gasped. The boy was beautiful in the extreme of the word, His skin shone in the lights of the hall, he had almost black eyes but with little flecks of brown from what I could see. His hair was in dissaray but it only added to his beauty.2

The boy leaned down and kissed the girl roughly while the other boys were attacked by the gorgous girls. The main boy pushed the girl away and she blushed and waved at him as all the gang walked to a table in the middle of the room. Even the lunch ladies were looking at them with respect. The main boy twisted his seat and sat down on it as he murmered to the boys. They all nodded and grabbed crisps from the table next to them. The boys eyes swept the room before they landed on me. I looked down and ate my apple quickly. I got up and grabbed my bag before I dumped the apple core in the bin. I felt stares peircing my back so I ran quickly from the hall.3

When I got out of the hot halls I sat down on a bench outside and my heart went to my throat as I saw all the boys in hoods coming out.I kept my head down but gasped as I felt someone pulling my hood by the edge. I was dragged to main boy and he towered over me. The boys stood beside him and I shook lightly in fear as the main boy hissed quietly, 4

''Why are you wearing a black hoodie?'' One boy hissed at me. I didn't answer so the boy leading them brought two pale hands up and sweeped my hood down smoothly. I though I heard a sharp intake of breath but before I was sure the boys behind started laughing and chuckling. Murmers of freak and ugly went around. The main boy pulled his hood down again and looked me straight in the eye. His dark eyes wandered my face and time slowed down.I still heard the hollering of the other boys but I didn't care.5

''Enough'' Came the smooth, silky, strong voice.It was a command and a threat rolled into one. The boys went silent straight away. The boy continued to stare at me, his hand still rested on my shoulders from when he lifted the hood down..He must have not noticed.. His hand rose again and he swept my hair back, making my heart beat erraticly(sp?). He then pulled my hood back up and breathed quietly. His minty cool breath hit my face and made me lean in slighly.6

''Let's go'' The boy commanded.I watched as they walked away slowly. The boy turned around one last time and stared at me before pulling the door open angrily... My heart took a while to calm down, the bell rung shortly after and I ran to my class quickly..

Author notes

Romance

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • KrazywithaK
    August 25
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    Wow , Awesome


  • ELFgirl12
    August 24

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    Very well written!

    I greatly admire your writing. I think the story above was very well written, and I'd love to see more of your work. If you end up writting the next chapters, I'd like it if you submitted them to the contest, along with this one. There were two minor errors I'd like to point out and have you change:
    1) Paragraph 4, Line 3: "pulling my hood my the edge." Should be "pulling my hood by the edge."
    2)Paragraph 5, line 3: "smootly." Should be "smoothly."

    I will have to take off some points,though, for having a story somewhat like the Twilight series, and I said I wanted very origional stories. All in all, it was a very well-constructed story. Thanks for entering, and good luck!

    -Ellie (Rae)

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.


  • Lullaby.x
    August 22

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    Wow that was really good!! I think the boy is going to appear in the book a lot more then this. The wording was great too, and it felt like i was actually there. It flowed so smoothly and was very easily read. I pretty much lost myself in the words and was surprised to see the ending come so quickly.


  • Satan-chan
    June 17

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    Wow!

    I love it! But i want to cry when she was standing at the lunch line.. how could they do that to her! But i think the boy is going to be nice to her cool...


  • jennjenn95
    June 16
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    AMANDA you are a writting genious!!!!!!!!!!
    x


  • SimplyNoodle
    June 12

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    Omg Omg Omg this was great!!! I couldnt take my eyes of the page!!! great job hun!! cant wait to read more!! I really hope the boys never hurt her though Shes been hurt enough, keep writting.
    ~ Chelsey

  • Wow its jusst getting better and better.. i love ure stories.please let me know when you have chapter3 out?? I Cant wait

1 - 7 of 7