Who Am I ( Chapter 11 )

“No come here.” He sighed.1

I walked to his bed and fell into his arms, it felt so good to be in his strong and warm arms again. I squeezed him tightly not wanting to let go of him. He ran his fingers through my hair, it felt like old times, it felt like nothing was wrong.  I think that he got lost in the moment as I snuggled into the creases of his neck. I felt his grip loosen and move away.2

“We need some sleep.” He said clearing his throat.3

“I don’t want to sleep alone Luca. Could I please sleep with you?” I asked adding “Please!”4

“No Hales you can’t.” He replied, the look in his eyes told me another thing. He didn’t want to sleep alone either. I could just tell.5

“Please Luca. Don’t do this. I need you to hold me.” I tried.6

“I need a lot of things that I can’t have from you Hales. Goodnight.” He said rolling on his back and turning off the lamp.7

I laid there in darkness, I felt my salty tears start to sting my eyes. I didn’t want to cry I was so sick of crying. It was time to take charge of things the way I used to. I couldn’t let him be angry with me, I needed to make it up to him, the only way I knew how.8

I lifted his shirt and started kissing his chest softly.9

“Hayleigh you said…” He tried.10

“Forget what I said.” I hushed ignoring him, I carried on kissing his stomach, I circled around his firm pecks with my tongue.11

“Hayleigh!” He repeated this time it didn’t sound like he meant it, he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I kissed my way down the his pants line, keeping my eyes on him the whole time. I didn’t want him doing anything he didn’t want to be doing, now was his chance to put an end to it. I looked into his deep blue eyes, I saw the pain, I saw his longing for me, I saw the invitation for me to keep going.12

With his gaze fixed upon me I managed to pull down his jeans with his boxers, to reveal his throbbing member, it’s hardness showed me how grateful it was. I stared at his hot throbbing member in my hand as I massaged it gently. 13

“Hayleigh.” He said again but this time it wasn’t an objection it was a long moan which told me my advances were most welcome. 14

I ran my tongue over his swollen head a few times, I took it deep into my mouth, my head bobbing up and down as my tongue caressed his shaft.15

“Hayleigh….” He moaned again as I pleasured his wonderful tool. 16

I stopped momentarily and he grabbed me pulling me on top of him, he flipped us over and pinned me to the bed underneath him. I thought he was mad, I thought he would yell at me and this would all end, but before I knew it he was kissing me ferociously on the mouth. Our tongues wrestled and I found myself moaning with him, I wanted him. I was so turned on. Minutes rolled by as we tasted the sweetness of each others mouth. He kissed my neck passionately and actually ripped the top from my chest, in one swift motion he reached around the back of me and removed my bra. 17

His gentle hands wondered over my bare smooth back and slowly moved down towards my hips, he took hold of them and squeezed them tight. He grabbed at my pants and pulled them down revealing my long smooth legs, my ultimate prize was hidden by the g-string I was wearing. He scanned my body, looking at me in awe.18

“If there is any perfect definition of a girl Hayleigh, you are it.” He said in a tone that could only mean honesty. I lay there watching his eyes wonder over my body, taking in every piece of it. I smiled at him wanting him to take me, I wanted him so bad.19

“It’s just a pity I’m not good enough for you isn’t it?” He said. I wanted to say something but before I knew it, he buried his head between my legs and started kissing me with such passion. My back arched and I began to moan with pleasure. 20

“My GOD Luca!” I moaned wriggling around. 21

After a while he stopped and raised his head, gasping wildly from the lack of air, he ran his tongue the entire way up my flawless skin and moved to my perky breasts, he cupped one which fitted perfectly in his hands and took the other in his mouth. 22

I was so caught up in the moment I didn’t even feel him enter me, that was another movement I found it hard to control myself. He began thrusting into me and moaning, my moaning matched his. We had made love 100 times but this was more animal like, it was so hot and heavy. I grabbed his hips with both hands and squeezed him. I wanted him closer, I needed him to go deeper. It was a feeling I could not describe23

I could feel the pressure mounting, I could feel it wanting to explode, I could no longer contain the sheer ecstasy wanting to burst out of me.24

“OH GOD! Luuuca!” I screamed as I came head on with a wall of orgasm, my legs shook as I clenched my thighs together, I could feel the internal spasms start as Luca moaned and I felt him release into me. Seconds later he collapsed on top of me. We laid there breathing heavily. I felt completely relaxed. 25

“Wow.” I gasped holding him tight. 26

I didn’t want to let him go, I didn’t want the glow of that moment to end. I had deeper feelings for him than I thought. Maybe we were more than friends. Maybe I did love him. I was never one for showing my emotions though. I couldn’t tell him, I didn’t know how to.27

“Yeah that was wow.” Luca replied rolling off me and laying on his back. I snuggled into his chest. 28

“Don’t get up. Let’s stay like this for a while.” I smiled leaning up and giving him a kiss. It felt like he was kissing me back. This whole moment just felt right.29

“Nah I’m going to go and have a shower.” He suddenly said trying to get up.30

“Please don’t I wanna fall asleep with you.” I said.31

“Okay.” He sighed. “But let’s go to sleep I am tired.” He added.32

“Okay.” I smiled snuggling into his neck and closing my eyes.33

“I love you Hayleigh.” He said and I could tell he meant it, I could hear the emotion in his voice. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I wanted to tell him that I was tired of playing the little games I did. I wanted to tell him that I wanted to be with him, but all that came out was;34

“Oh thanks.” Followed by a stupid little giggle that would have hurt any guy. Why did I always have to be such a jerk? Why couldn’t I just be honest? But I thought to myself, hey I just had sex with him, that would be enough for him for now. He would wait for me. How stupid could I be! It wasn’t just that though. I mean I honestly didn’t want to hurt him.35

I had never had a serious boyfriend before, guys were like toys to me. Every guy I had gone out with I ended up hurting without giving them a second thought. Luca was different, I didn’t want to start something with him and hurt him. I mean he was my best friend. Too many things could go wrong. 36

I decided that I would talk to him the next morning. I didn’t want to lose him, but what he was looking for he wouldn’t find I just didn’t know if I had it in me to give it to him. I was so confused, in the space of ten minutes I went from loving him, to not, to not being sure. 37

AGGGHHH! I just wanted my brain to stop thinking. Why did things have to be so damn hard? Why couldn’t they be simple the way they used to be. The way we used to have sex and make out and he wouldn’t want more. Why did he need more? WHY did things have to change? 38

The next morning I awoke feeling with a sick feeling in my stomach, I didn’t want to wake up. I knew exactly why I was feeling sick, I was going to start looking for answers today. Even the thought of doing this terrified me. I really wanted to talk to Taylor, over the last few weeks we hadn’t talked much, I mean I know she came and seen me when she found out and all. Things felt different between us. I didn’t feel as close to her anymore. Nothing felt the same anymore since I found out I was adopted. 39

But she wouldn’t be back for 3 weeks and she wasn’t allowed to take her phone with her on vacation. Her family think its rude going on a family vacation and spending the whole time on the phone to your friends. How lame is that? 40

Luca wasn’t laying next to me when I woke up. Where was he? I heard the shower going. Oh. Well that answered my question. A smile spread across my face, I jumped out of bed and slowly opened his en suite doors, I couldn’t see much through the steam but I could make out the shape of his body. 41

He stood there washing himself. He was so incredibly sexy. I felt my body fill with desire. I wanted him again. I stepped in the bathroom, and closed the door behind myself, he hadn’t heard me yet. Which made me even more excited. He had his back to me I opened the glass door and stepped in behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. 42

“Morning gorgeous.” I said pressing against his back.43

“Morning.” He replied. I turned him around to face me, his eyes were a little puffy. Was he okay? I told myself that it was because of the shower.44

I pulled his head down to my own and started to kiss him, he slipped in his tongue and it was on again, I found myself swept away in the passion as he placed his fingers in my opening, I placed mine on his member and before I knew it, we were making love again.45