We were all sick. Sicker then I'd ever seen us before. The four of us were lying around, trying to figure out if anyone of us were well enough to eat anything.1
The house was a mess. The only energy I had was used cleaning up after my puking children. The only thing I was proud of when the EMT's and police arrived, was that my house didn't smell. Bleach was a wonderful scent killer.2
I remember it being a bright December day. Christmas was only a couple of weeks off and I was hoping to feel better soon. I needed to buy a couple of last minutes gifts, and there was Christmas dinner to buy, not to mention the elusive Yule log to find.3
My mind was on these things as I sat in my over-stuffed plaid chair, holding my very sick two-year old. On the couch across the room, Shelbie, my twelve year old, mumbled something about thinking she could handle some crackers and water.4
Derrick had wandered into the kitchen for his own water, so I asked him to get Shelbie some too. I had just lifted my mug of tea to my mouth, breathing in the peppermint I hoped would soothe my stomach, when Ryelee's head flopped back and her eyes rolled up into her head. She had stopped breathing.5
I frantically called for Derrick as I lay her on the floor. He handed me the phone.6
My hands shook as I dialed the three numbers a parent should never have to call.7
"911 operator, what is your emergency?"8
I cried into the phone that my daughter was not breathing. She asked me the usual questions, and as we were finishing, the police arrived.9
With them they carried a nondescript square box. I was confused by this, but inside were sealed breathing equipment. Luckily, by this time Ryelee had started breathing and the box was not needed.10
The EMT's were finally here, along with the fire department. The guys checked her vitals and then loaded her up. I rode in the ambulance with her. She screamed the whole way and I cried the same. Ryelee's screaming was a good thing. This meant she was breathing.11
I thought the worst was over. I was wrong!12
I hadn't, in my life, heard such screaming. Blood-curdling, life-threatening, two octave higher then normal screaming was coming from my petite baby. She fought hard to fend off the restraining arms of the EMT techs...with the apparent strength of a girl far older and far stronger. 13
The nurses struggled to put an IV in the dehydrated veins of my two year old, as she twisted and squirmed. I was scared and my feelings weren't helping. Ryelee screamed harder when she saw me dancing around her bed.14
Finally I just grabbed her. I calmed my fears and she quieted long enough for the needle to be put in.15
She slept while they took blood and ran tests. I laid on the bed stroking her hair back from her perfectly shaped forehead and cried.16
Derrick and Shelbie showed up after the hassle was over. The nurses gave Shelbie coloring crayons and a book to keep her busy, as Derrick paced the room, worried.17
***18
When a doctor showed up, I was stunned. I was expecting a clean shaven older man. What I got was a tattooed, bleached, spiky hair, lip pierced, barely legal boy. I just remember thinking there was no way this guy was taking care of my child. Come to find out he was a pediatrician, and had been for a few years.19
The information he relayed to us was not promising. They could not find anything wrong with her, besides being dehydrated. He suggested a MRI, we said yes.20
By this time Ryelee was getting stronger. Every time she woke up she asked to go home. She wanted her blanket and needed to use the bathroom. I was relieved and I cried. I wanted so much to take her home, but I knew we needed to stay. I needed answers.21
When my father was younger he had epilepsie. That was running through my mind. Was this disease hereditary? Could my perfect 'mistake' have this? How would it effect her life? Was I a strong enough mother to help her deal with this? Would she be all she could be with epilepsie? I had so many questions.22
The MRI came back with no conclusive answers. They were stumped and I was worried.23
We were asked to stay the night, just in case. We stayed. The night was peaceful. I slept in a cot, holding my Ryelee in my arms all night.24
The next morning we were released with the conclusion that she had that once in a life time seizure that happens with dehydration. 25
Ryelee has never had another seizure since that time. But I would never wish our experience on anyone, friend or enemy.
Author notes
DONE!!!!!
In a list
A contest entry
- Everyone has a Story - Part One (Invite Only) by Kevan.
600 points, ended June 12, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - True Stories!Prewrites are allowed! by Sheilasbabygal4life.
250 points, ended September 17, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
-
Ache
Every parent's worst nightmare. Standing by as your child is in pain and not being able to "make it all better." Glad to hear it is in the past.
-
Whoa this is really fast paced. It's scary to think stuff like this can actually happen. It must be very tough to go through. It was very well written, and it was very moving.
-
Wow this was really good and it was very moving. Thanks for entering my contest and best of luck to you!
-
WOW! very fast paced and horrific...the fact that this stuff really happens makes it much, much scarier than anything one can imagine...congrats on the silver...and a job well done...
-
I'm only fifteen and I CANNOT imagine that ever happening to my child! You must've been owrried sick...actually, judging from how well-detailed this happening is written, I know you were worried sick!
A once-in-a-lifetime seizure from dehydration was quite a lucky medical problem from little Ryelee to have. I mean, judging from my mother's best friend's daughter's brain tumor incident, it is.
I'm very happy that things went well for you! You seem like a very good mother to your kids...and yes, you should know CPR. It's fine if you don't, I'm not judging you...I have no right too, just telling you that it's extremely useful!
I'm looking through your stories...haven't gotten to commenting on one yet, but I will!
-dancer. -
Excellent
Hi Brooke,
That must been so scary for you! Watching your baby go through that. I hope that she is doing well.
Excellent write! Your words had me glued to this piece. I just kept waiting more.
A great job,
Lynn
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
See, it's stuff like this that I hope I never, ever have to deal with. My kids are both under age 5, not even in kindergarten or anything, and I'm afraid they'll wander home with MRSA or something one day, and die the next. Thanks, Big Scary World of Interconnected People Who Don't Stay Home When Sick.
I'm glad you reached out and grabbed your daughter and calmed her down. No one should have to watch their little one suffer alone. You sound like a good mom who loves her kids more than life, and I'm glad your daughter is all right now.
Your story really conveyed your emotions well. I was holding my breath during parts, waiting to learn what happened next!
-
I had a similar experience with my youngest child when he was 18 months old, so I understand exactly what you felt during that awful time! Thank goodness, all seems well! And reading your story brought all those emotions flooding back!
-
Hey Sage,
Being the father of eight, I've been there done that more than once. Kids pick up all kinds of stuff at school and every parent should know CPR, the Heimlich maneuver. I've had to use both in the past. Probably the hardest thing is don't panic. Happy this little horror tale had a good ending.
-
Wow! I can't even imagine what it felt like going through that. I'm sure it was hard even to write this, remembering those feelings so vividly.
My sister has epilepsy and I still remember her first seizure. I was like six so she was about four. She never stopped breathing like that but we all still freaked out until the doctor told us what had happened.
This is very well done considering what it's about. It was easy to feel your panic. I was worrying along with you while I read it. *laughs*
I'm glad to hear she was fine afterwords and it hasn't happened again.
Nicely done!
Greg
-
WOW! I can't even imagine going through something this scary. It must have been terrifying to see your child like that. I'm really glad everything worked out.
What were you all sick from? Was it just a bad stomach bug? Or food poisoning? God, it sounded AWFUL!!!
I had only one editing suggestion:
PARA 13-- I hadn't, in my life, heard such screaming. Blood-curdling, life-threatening, two octave higher then normal screaming was coming from my petite baby.
-- I (think) in this instance, that 'then' should be 'than'....but I could be wrong! lol.
Anyhow, this was really well done. You did a fantastic job of conveying the terror and confusion you must have been feeling on that day.
Great job!
-
Wow.. I... wow.
It is difficult, going through an experience like that. It's so unfortunate that you had to deal with it, but like you said, I'm sure you wouldn't wish it onto someone else.
Sometimes we wonder why these things happen, and then we realize that all is not lost, and that the world will go on.
Great job. Best of luck in the contest,
Kevan.
-
-
Thanks for the silver and the comment
Brooke
-
-
Though its not done i still like it
-
Just one comment, its spelled epilepsy.
I know how scary it is to deal with a seizure, my best friend had her first seizure in the middle of passing time between two classes earlier this year. -
As this story is incomplete, I shall wait to give a full comment just the same; I am very much looking forward to hearing what happens.
This must have been a terrifying experience for you, something that none of us should ever have to go through. It's scary sometimes to realize that we can be thinking of something so innocent, so normal, and then all of a sudden fate shows us how vulnerable we really are.
Gary has caught all the errors I found and he has already listed them below. I do hope your little one turned out alright, and you and the rest of your family right along with her. -
-
I am hoping to finish this tonight.
I was so afraid, I didn't even know how to think at the time. The only thing that matter was my baby laying there
Thanks for reading and I am off to write.
Brooke
-
-
Very frightening. I've been there. I'm not used to ever seeing you with any spags so I can see how much it must have hurt you to even write this story. I think I would leave it just as it is.
Trish
-
-
I was terrified. I don't wish this on anyone. Thanks for reading.
Brooke
-
-
Was it fast food?
Whew! Another tough tale...stirring life episode.
Few corrections, if you care:
P1..."four of us were laying around" = LYING around!
P3..."plus there was Christmas dinner" = AND there was Christmas dinner"
..."to buy. Not to mention" = ...to buy COMMA not to mention"
Elusive is used correctly here! GOOD FOR YOU! (Most writers don't have a clue!)
P5...Wondered = WANDERED
P5..."to get her some too" = to get SHELBIE some too
"my mug of teat to" = my mug of TEA to
P6..."as I laid her on" = as I lay her on
P12..."along with fire." = along with the fire department (or) fire department personnel...(or) firemen.
P13..."the worst was way over" = the worst was over.
P14...lose "in my life!"
("ever" implies this!)
leif = life!
(Typo, I know!)
"normal screaming?" lol!
(I would also find another metaphor than a fighting momma GRIZZLY to describe your two year old)
P15...I don't think you need "Needle" after "IV" since this IS INTRA-venous and implies the needle going into the vein.
(Just "IV" is enough.)
P17..."She slepted" = she slept
Glad all worked out!
Harrowing!
G
-
-
Gary,
Was wondering what metaphor you would use to describe the fierceness of Ryelee's fighting.
Have fixed the rest, but waiting for the help on the metaphor.
Thanks for reading.
Brooke
-
-
Wow, this is a really scary scenario :S
I sure hope everything turned out good, and that your girl is all fine now! As for the story, I like the way it's written, and the way you manage to convey your fear to the reader. Well done as always, and I'll come back to re-read again when you're all done with it
-
-
Mads!! wow thanks for reading. It was very scary. I hope this never happens to another parent, ever.
Thanks for reading.
Brooke
-
-
I know just how you felt when this all happened. Ever since I was little, my sister's had seizures. They're extremely scary. I'm glad that everything turned out alright with this and that you, your husband and your daughters are okay. I can't imagine what I'd do if anything like that happened to my Lilly and she's not even here yet. While there's a bit of editing to do here, it's okay to put it off for a bit until you've got this finished. It shows how emotional you were when you were writing this.
Ruth
-
-
I do hope that your sister is doing well and that the seizures don't happen anymore. My father had seizures when he was young and grew out of them, but the thret is still there.
Thanks for the read and I will finish this and do the edits
Brooke -
-
I'm not sure if my sisters seizures will ever stop, but I'm glad your daughter hasn't had anymore. Seizures suck. Oddly, peanut butter stuff helps my sister come around faster. Hers is from a tumor in her brain, but because of where it's at, they can't do anything to remove it. It could cause serious damage.
-
-
-
Brooke ,
This would be very scary. I can only imagine. I don't have kids, but i do have a close friend who is sick from cancer. I see him as a brother and sometimes when he's down real low, it is very scary, so in a way, i can relate. However, he has never stopped breathing so i know i would be a total frantic mess.
best luck in the contest,
rian
-
-
I am sorry about your friend. It is a hard thing for all to understand and face up too. Good luck to you and your friend. May the Goddess look upon you favorably.
Thanks for the read.
Brooke
-
-
Brooke, I was just cruising by at the right time. I can appreciate just how you felt at the time. Little children are so absolutely helpless. I was one of those lucky parents, my kids did not have any seizures or anything like that. They did cause some consternation by having frequent, weird and unusual accidents, but nothing life threatening at all.
-
-
I never thought I'd be the parent of a sick child. I had given her water and thought I had done good, but *sigh* I didn't do enough.
Again thanks for reading.
-
-
You have aroused my curiosity no end here. Perhaps a little more descriptive. I have raised 5 of my own and helped with 6 grandkids, yet I wonder where this is going. I feel for the parent as little children change so quickly when they are ill. Overall - food for thought as the imagination is activated and memories stirred.
-
-
Wow, you are quick
I spent two days in the hospital with her. The doctors couldn't find out why she as the seizure. They thought it was a dehydrated seizure, but wasn't sure. She's never had one since and I thank the Goddess everyday for that
Thanks for reading.
Brooke
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 32 of 32
