A broken heart,
With broken dreams,
A razor stained,
With memories.1
I sold my heart,
Gave away my soul,
I've lost my mind,
And all control.2
A metal blade hidden from sight,
I tried, but it became to hard to fight,
A carved up arm,
And shattered dreams,
I've lost a fatal part of me.
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Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Very Nice
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i love it
that poem was so good
i can relate relly -
Wow.
Beautifully written.
I can't write poetry, but I certainly can enjoy it.
Lovely and wonderful. Great job and keep writing!
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I'm guessing that this was a suicide-attempt due to some torturous love. Am I right? It was a wonderful piece, the emotion was eerily pleasing. Well done.
-Chantale
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Nope I was too scared to even try to commit suicide....
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This is a really good poem. It's full of pain and tells a very meaningful story. You used great descriptions in it and I especially like the first stanza.
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Sorry bout the last stanza I couldn't think of anything...
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For a short poem, this has quite an impact! I thought it was very well done. It's so very sad. It seems like cutting is everyone's solution to problems nowadays. :[
"A razor stained,
With memories."1
That line is brilliant.
I like how you didn't overdo it with the rhyming, and the structure of it is kinda broken, similar to what the main character is feeling, I'm sure.
Great job overall, I really liked this!
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Thank you.
I wrote this when i was going through a phase about a month ago.
I thought I'd lost the love of my life. But I lost something to find something better.
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