Shade Chapter 20

Helix shook my shoulder and I woke up after a moment. I was wearing nothing but a blanket tied around me much like a dress.1

“Helix?” I asked, bleary eyed, “What’s going on?”2

He had his gun in his hand and his eyes were wide.3

“Shh,” He said, putting a finger to his lips, “You’ve got to be quiet. Vera wasn’t lying, but I don’t think she knew it at the time. The hunters are coming. I saw them early though, we’ve got about two minutes, I’d guess.”4

That woke me up, and quickly as well. Helix slipped my gun into my hands.5

“I’m going to wake up Dax, Rara, and Lesta.” He said, “I’ll be right back, stay in here and get dressed. You’re clothes are by the foot of the bed.”6

I took my gun, sat up, and he was gone. It hit me again, all very painfully, what we were up against when I sat up. Maybe these weren’t the people that killed Aries but they were close enough for me. And they would kill us just as quickly, I though as I pulled on my pants. Probably quicker, since that had been the intent with Aries. A sharp stab of pain went through me at that though. 7

I just finished lacing up the shirt when Helix came back in with Dax, Rara, and Lesta following him. They seemed to be arguing.8

“I’ll stay, Helix,” Lesta was saying, “You had to know this was coming, I know you did. You know me too well!” 9

“No!” Helix replied angrily, “I refuse to let you sacrifice yourself for the rest of us. You’ll come with us; you think I want your death on me as well?”10

Dax and Rara were quiet and Helix turned to them.11

“You’ve got to tell her this is insane!” He said, “She can’t die for us!”12

They looked at each other.13

“We were going to stay too, Helix.” Dax said apologetically and I imagined that wasn’t how he intended on telling Helix.14

“Si, we’ve done all we can and they won’t kill us if you aren’t here.” Rara added.15

Helix’s eyes went wide.16

“You…you’re…you can’t do this!” He stammered and I was speechless, “I won’t let you! No!”17

But their expressions were resolute. 18

“This is our house,” Dax pointed out, “We can stay if we want, it wouldn’t be suicide for us, it would be for the both of you.”19

Helix stammered a few more syllables but none of them made it to words. His eyes turned to Lesta.20

“What about you then?” He asked her, “Would it be suicide for you?”21

We all knew he wasn’t asking if the hunters would randomly shoot her.22

She stood up a little straighter and squared her shoulders.23

“If I die, then I die.” She answered in a strong voice and I shuddered. She didn’t sound depressed or suicidal, I think I could have handled that; it would have made sense to me. She sounded as though she’d thought this over again and again and she’d accepted it already. 24

I couldn’t let her do this. But, at the same time, I knew I couldn’t stop her. And, part of me, the merciful part I think, didn’t want to stop her.25

“Lesta, please,” I started to say but I was relieved when she interrupted me since I hadn’t known what I would say next.26

“Shade,” She said and the way she said my name softened me instantly, “I don’t expect you to understand. Maybe you did at vHaven, and in that I think you understand more than Dax or Rara, but I could tell something inside of you hoped so much for your Helix to come back that you knew he would. I could tell when you mistook Aries for him; it was in your voice.”27

I nodded my admission.28

“I thought so,” She continued, “But I know Aries isn’t coming back. I’ve known him for a very long time. He simply wasn’t strong enough and now, with the sun, I know he’s gone. But I didn’t have a life before him; I don’t see how I can have one now.”29

“But what did you do when he was serving overseas?” I tried desperately.30

“I mourned.” She answered without missing a beat. 31

I knew there would be no persuading her after that and, like Helix, I tried Dax and Rara. But I didn’t get a single word out.32

“Shade, don’t,” Dax said, stopping me, “The worst that can happen to us is we’ll be in prison for a week and we’ve had worse. Hell, we’ll tell them Helix threatened to kill us,” He said and Helix laughed, clearly they’d already decided this, “It wouldn’t be the first threat he’s been accused of and at this point I doubt they keep track. You’ll be free and, in the end, so will we.”33

I heard the unsaid words. Most of us. No one mentioned what Lesta wanted to do.34

“You’ve got to go, Helix, both of you.” Lesta said urgently, “It’s the middle of the day, but you’ll be able to get to the car if you’re covered.”35

Helix grabbed her and hugged her one last time. 36

“You don’t have to do this.” He said, holding back from crying again.37

“I know,” She answered, “But it’s my choice, and this is what I’m choosing.”38

He let her go and nodded simply as she turned to me and hugged me as well.39

“Gonna miss you, sis,” She said, trying to sound cheerful though her voice cracked at all the wrong moments for that, “Aries and I are gonna be looking on you from time to time now, don’t forget that.”40

I tried to smile, I did, but it came out as a grimace.41

Helix and I turned towards Dax and Rara but they shook their heads.42

“No, don’t,” Dax said, “We’ll see you again. It might be a good century from now, but save the goodbyes until they’re needed.”43

“See you later then.” I said and Dax nodded.44

“Back at you, kid,” He answered grinning. He was ready for the fight, I knew. Just like Aries, it was a game to him and it didn’t really matter if he got hurt in it as long as he played.45

Lesta put her coat over me, pulled the hood over my head, and put a pair of sunglasses over my face.46

“That should help some,” She decided, “And take this with you. You might need it later.”47

She put her bag over my arms and shushed my protests with one of her classic looks as she pushed both Helix and I towards the window.48

The BMW had been parked around the back of the house so we’d be able to get to it without being seen. Helix picked me up and I buried my face into his chest as Lesta opened the window for us.49

“They’re inside now,” She said almost excitedly, “Go! Good luck!”50

I didn’t get to say anything back, Helix had leapt out the window and I had to hide as much as possible to keep from burning as he ran towards the BMW.51

He unlocked in from the driver’s side and put me in first but I waited until he’d gotten in and shut the door before putting the coat off of me. He looked over me as he started the car, swiping his hand across the scanner while paying no attention to it. 52

“I’m fine.” I answered, but he wasn’t satisfied.53

“Famous last words.” He responded. Neither of us said who’s they were, but I really was fine and he kissed my forehead when he established that.54

We both sat silently for a moment, waiting for some sign that told us to go, anything. It came about ten seconds later in the form of a gunshot. Helix covered my mouth with his hand to hide my scream and hit the gas pedal. I curled back into his chest to block out the sound but there were no more shots to follow. The quiet was too much and I forced myself to sit up and look back at the house as we drove on. 55

Lesta was on the ground, fallen from the window, with blood around her body centering from her head. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned back around, trying to will the image of her away and wishing I hadn’t seen it but knowing I’d have gone insane from not knowing if I hadn’t.56

“Helix,” I whimpered and he held me close, “Tell me she’s with Aries, tell me she’s happy and safe and everything’s alright. Please.”57

He was silent for a moment and he kissed the top of my head before answering.58

“Nothing can hurt them anymore, Shade,” He answered with complete certainty, “She’s more than happy and safe now, she’s perfect.”59

He didn’t tell me everything was alright, but who was I to point that out? I could even form the words.60

“You know we’re going to see her, don’t you?” He asked, “I promised you that I’d make you safe before this was over and I always keep my word when I give it. We’ll see them both before this is over.”