Business Disaster

Looking back on all that's happened I think I may have made a bad choice. Though, you have to understand that I was under a lot of stress. How about I take it all back so that you can understand it a little better.1

--------2

So my boss asks me into his office one day to discuss my future. He said, "Paul I think you can make it to the top here, but the CEO is going to need some convincing. There's a new venture underway concerning the expansion of this company and if you can really 'wow' him I bet him promote you on the spot." Naturally I was excited about this and jumped at the opportunity. I had just gotten married two months ago and a promotion would be a great way to secure my wife, Sharon, and I's future.3

I start to tirelessly work; day and night. Halfway to the deadline Sharon approaches me carrying a suitcase, "You never spend any time with me, and all you ever do is work! I don't think I can take this anymore, I'm going to move into my sister's house until...well I don't know how long exactly." I didn't notice that she'd felt neglected because by that time I was consumed. All that mattered was finishing; I've been told I have an addictive personality and at this point that seems like an accurate description. 4

At last today came, the day the CEO was coming down to our humble offices. As I strode down the hall carrying a briefcase with my very heart and soul in it I felt pretty damn good. I figured that once I secured my promotion Sharon would understand why I had to work so much and she'd come back to me. Reaching for the handle to the door of the conference room I knew my moment had come. 5

"So if we strike now we can buy out the majority of their shares for a very minimal cost." Some man in a tweed suit had just finished some song and dance as I walked in. Everyone was clapping but I was confident that whatever he had presented, mine would be far better. 6

"Paul!" My boss called from his seat on the left hand of who was obviously the head honcho. "Look I know you must have worked hard but it's already been decided that we're going to go with Mr. William's idea. I'm sorry." 7

"Mr. Williams! Who the fuck is Mr. Williams? I've been working here for seven year! What the hell! How could you screw me like this?" I smashed my briefcase onto the plush carpet floor, I was trembling. 8

"Now look Paul, this wasn't my decision. Maybe next time alright; so just calm down."9

Dead. That's how I felt. I mean, I'd just thrown away what could have been a happy marriage for this goddamn project and now this? I like to think that I'm in control of myself at all times but I just couldn't stop. That bastard CEO of ours had stolen my dreams. That's the only thought that ran through my mind as I charged at him, grabbed him by the collar and threw him out 29th floor window. You know the one I'm talking about of course, those huge windows that conference rooms always seem to have, looking out over the city and all that.10

I got to watch him fall, even saw him land on a taxi, before the other morons came to their senses and grabbed hold of me. He hit right on the front, smashed that thing up. I guess you know the rest since you're the one who responded to the 911 call. Don't you think that maybe you could loosen these handcuffs? I promise I'm not going to do anything. No? Alright then.11

Changed my mind you know. Tossing that bastard out was the best thing I've ever done really. He deserved it and I'm not going to feel bad about. Not only did I get rid of a particularly nasty piece of human waste I also learned a great lesson:12

Over-paid executives make terrible hood ornaments.13

Author notes

So I've gone with the prompt. I wish I'd had more time to work on this, to put more detail in.

For Work Place Revenge: I read and commented on A Tale of Revenge.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 304. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Gab8e
    November 20
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    That was great. I really loved the ending!

    beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Disasterous-Bastard
    November 19
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    Edit | Reply
    That was fun... kind of immature, I thought. The last part was very brilliant though, I commend you for that. Overpaid executives make terrible hood ornaments. Just wow! I thought it could've been written better, but the story itself was wonderful. Thank you. Good luck

    • Adinatak
      November 20
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      This is definitely not my best work, and I know it. Glad you liked the story, though.

  • Marta gold member
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    Great entry, I loike people who can get right in there and take their revenge head-on without too much planning.

    Great write and very funny. Thanks for entering my contest. and Good luck.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • Adinatak
      October 28
      Edit | Reply
      What can I say? Paul is a spontaneous kind of guy.


  • lesbian-in-love
    October 22

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    THis was a very good flowing story. I really enjoyed reading this. It was well done. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.


  • davelolione gold member
    September 18

    Edit | Reply

    Ok this is what I want to read.

    A nice little story. Good flow and characterisation. The rage thing and the CEO taking the drop predicable but i liked the way you off set it with your dark humour about 'hood ornaments.' Some words seemed to be a bit out of place, in their use; but it didn't affect the story for me. Hey i can talk take a look at some of my stuff!

    A good job done here and thanks for entering the competition.

    Good luck.

    Dave

    • Adinatak
      September 18

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a bunch and thank you for holding this contest!


  • amanda vampiress silver member
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    This was surprising and interesting. I liked how you talked to the reader at certain parts and others you were telling the story. I thought the part with the boss being thrown out the window was a little predictable but it was enjoyable none-the-less. I also found your little story to be humor filled! Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • Valkyrie silver member
    June 17

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    You drift back and forth between present and past tense verbs; you'll want to pick one of them and go with that throughout the whole story.

    The informal tone is perfect, and you made me lol with the handcuffs line.

    I agree with you, it could use a little more fleshing out, but the concept is sound.

    • Adinatak
      June 17
      Edit | Reply
      I'll try with the verb tenses, I find I do that a lot when I'm writing without noticing it. Thank ya very much for the comment.


  • Jennywinnie
    June 17

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    I don't think you need the first intro paragraph...readers like to just jump right in most of the time.

    Great Chacterization...very good flow and style.

    Great inner monologue in p8! I love your narative voice!

    This is hallarious! I love it!

    • Adinatak
      June 17
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      Thanks. I read a book with a tone like this, the main character narrating, and I really loved it so I thought I'd give it a shot.


  • Nublada
    June 3

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    This was definitely funny. I'm not sure it was meant to be? Either way, I hope you take it as a compliment! This was cool. And your last line was gold!


  • Neomaxizoondweebie
    June 2

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    That was hilarious! The dispassionate voice was strong and fitting. The last line was brilliant. I love how it seems as if the narrator is talking right to the reader. It establishes a firm connection between the two within a short amount of time.

    However, paragraphs 3 and 4, you get a little fuzzy with the tenses. Just make sure to watch out for that. I know I have horrible problems with that as well. ><

    But overall, this was a cute short story and I liked it a lot!


  • Queen Mab gold member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply

    Loved it!

    You've done a fantastic job with the prompts and time constraints. It is a gripping story and I loved the end. HA! I wasn't expecting that. Put a big grin right on my face.
    Thanks so much for the entertaining read.

    ~Mab

    • Adinatak
      May 27
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I tried to make something original. I really enjoyed this contest, it was tons of fun.

1 - 20 of 20