I Could not answer him.1
I knew soon that this would grate on his nerves. He hated it when I was silent. He loved knowing how scared I was. He could hear it in my voice when I strangled out an answer. This time I though I could not breath. I held my breath. The cold steel and the my desires burning me into small flames of convulsion. 2
“Careful now. We wouldn't want you to cut that pretty little cunt of yours open. More open than you already are for me and this crooked, hard handle.” he said panting heavily. Cold sweat dripping down his forehead. 3
He let his fingers slip out of my swelling pussy resting them against the rim of my virgin ass. He slowly lifted the sharp blade from my aching clit and brought it to his mouth running the edge of the blade across his lips. His tongue dangerously touching the blade.4
I closed my eyes. 5
My memories taking me back to the night on the balcony when he had taken a knife from the kitchen sink. The smell of raw meat wafting through the balcony doors. Causing me to feel ill. Causing him to become excruciatingly hard. 6
He had brought the knife to his tongue and dragged the blade down. Cutting it ever so lightly. Enough to bleed like a cut caused by teeth marks,but not enough to bleed out. He had dropped the knife to the floor. Taking my cheeks firmly in the grip of his hands forcing his tongue into my mouth. Filling it with the dangerously sweet taste of his carnal needs. 7
Coming back to reality I felt my nipples stretching against my skin. 8
Tight and aching. I watched as he lapped the last of my juices of the blade before he rested it down beside me lowering his head between my thighs. His nails digging deep into my cold flesh. Warming me instantly as the blood pumped through my veins. 9
“Do you want me to fuck you with the handle of the knife I used today?” he asked. His lips only centimeters way from my pulsating engorged nub. He blew on my clit teasingly. His lips pressing against it. His teeth nipping before he took it fully between his teeth and bit hard causing my to scream in pain. 10
I nodded, throwing my head back. I reached my hand out finding his hair. Beckoning him to stick his tongue inside me. To finish me off. With his teeth. With his fingers. With his tongue and lips. With the knife handle.11
“Say it,” he said lifting his head. His eyes glowing a feral red. “Say it to me. Tell me you want to be fucked with this fucking handle you stupid cowering bitch,” he yelled grabbing the knife and holding it above my cunt. Ready to stab the blade inside my convulsing pussy hole. 12
Fear swept through me. I could not speak. I struggled to get the words out of my mouth.13
There was something different about the tone of his voice. Even though I knew he was frustrated. It was much more than that. He was not playing anymore. He was genuinely furious with my lack of words. He wanted to hurt me. He wanted to fuck me with the handle. He wanted to do more than fuck me with the handle and cause fear that penetrated marrow deep.14
“Y-y-es,” I whispered. My eyes wide open. Never veering away from his hand and the knife. He looked possessed. 15
“Please, please fuck me with the handle. I want you to drill my cunt with it. I want you to stretch it open and rape me with it. Please. Fuck me now,” I begged. Wanting him to move. Wanting him to turn the blade upside down and ram the handle into tight swollen hole. 16
He smiled. His eyes a glistening site of malevolence. 17
“I'm going to give you what you really want. You callous whore,” he growled holding his hand higher in the air. His smile crooked and estranged. 18
My eyes flashed as I watched the blade coming through the air in slow motion. My heart thumping like a thousand beating drums. I closed my eyes awaiting my fate. Awaiting the sharp torturous sensation of the blade penetrating into my body. Releasing every desire I had ever had.19
I heard a sound coming from somewhere. A guttural blood-curdling screech. It filled the room echoing causing him to chuckle softly. 20
I opened my eyes seeing the knife laying between my legs.21
His hand was running between my breast to where my heart was beating furiously. He dug his nails into my flesh. Scrapping them against my supple skin.22
“ Why don't you Tell me what you really want?” 23
To Be Continued...
Author notes
It has been a long time since I wrote the first part but I was in an extremely motivated mood and I wanted to see where I could take the story. I intended to finish it with him stabbing her inside her. But it was a little to much and Ideally I want to keep writing it ;]
Will you read on?
Blair
[part 1] http://storywrite.com/story/262090
In a list
Will you read on ?
Comments
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This was a disturbing, dark, and deliciously twisted story!
However, I enjoyed the first chapter more than this one because your descriptions intrigued me. It terrified me yet, at the same time, I felt like a fly trapped in the honey jar; helpless to do anything but read on. Aside from some rough spelling errors I immensely enjoyed the dialogue between those two characters. The guy in this story was very disturbed, and the added fact that he was standing over the woman, threatening to rape her yet making it oddly sensual created a mesmerizingly beautiful scene. Also, this line was sex:
"My memories taking me back to the night on the balcony when he had taken a knife from the kitchen sink. The smell of raw meat wafting through the balcony doors. Causing me to feel ill. Causing him to become excruciatingly hard."
Holy shit . Nice imagery, Blair! I used to know this guy at school named Danny who wrote about this serial killer who wore a pig mask and kidnapped young girls, holding them hostage in his butcher shop so he could "play" with certain parts of their anatomies. It's a shame that Danny never posted anything on SW, because his stories gave me chills.
Anyways, I don't know if you want a heavy critique or not but I have to admit that there were spelling issues with this write. Your story seemed a little rushed, especially towards the middle, so I suggest re-reading the entire thing again to make all the necessary corrections. Sorry for being such a grammar hound .
"he said panting heavily. Cold sweat dripping down his forehead." (Para 3)
You should have a comma after "said." Also, 'Cold sweat dripping down his forehead' is a sentence fragment. I suggest writing it like this:
"He said, panting heavily. Cold sweat dripped down his forehead."
"He let his fingers slip out of my swelling pussy resting them against the rim of my virgin ass. He slowly lifted the sharp blade from my aching clit and brought it to his mouth running the edge of the blade across his lips. His tongue dangerously touching the blade." (Para 4)
This paragraph was a little mashed-up and difficult to read, so try using more commas.
"My memories taking me back to the night on the balcony when he had taken a knife from the kitchen sink. The smell of raw meat wafting through the balcony doors. Causing me to feel ill. Causing him to become excruciatingly hard." (Para 6)
It should be "My memories took me back" not "taking."
"My memories took me back to the night on the balcony, when he had taken a knife from the kitchen sink. The smell of raw meat wafted through the balcony doors, causing me to feel ill, causing him to become excruciatingly hard."
Sorry if I came across as a know-it-all, but if you patch up those grammatical errors then this story will be even more awesome . Can't wait to read the next bit!
Krista
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OMFG OMFG OMFG I cann;t even put my feeling in words this is so twisted in amazng way. I want more.
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WOW, did he really cut her with the knife? what is it she really wants? does he really want to hurt her with the knife. I can't wait to see what happens next.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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nicely paced...but just a taste?
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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