The only girl in the school

Just standing there in the empty corner, alone, isolated and lost. But that’s how it’s always been – me against the world. Every time I walk into the classroom there they are whispering about me. Then I freeze and there’s nothing more I can do about it. It’s me against them and no one wants to help. Everything I do they make a comment about. They look at me with hatred in their eyes while I stare back with my fear filled eyes. Their eyes burn into me while mine fill up with tears. All my fears come rushing back to me and I feel so lost. Maybe it’s because of the way I dress, the way I talk. Maybe it’s because of who I am.1

But who am I? The timid girl with no one to talk to? Why does that make me a victim? If people would talk to me then I wouldn’t be lonely, but no one wants to talk to me. Walking through the playground is hell for me, why should I have to look at other girls laughing and smiling when I’m hurting? So I sit down in that dark corner all by myself and it reflects just how I’m feeling – lost, isolated and in despair. I just sit in my corner and close my eyes and everything is so vivid. I can feel their hands, pulling my hair, punching my face. I can feel them spitting at me. And I can feel see them talking, but I can’t hear a word they say. Because I’ve blocked it out. To me hearing the hateful words that come out of their mouths is worse than them hitting me. I can feel my hands tremble and my body shake. But they’re still hitting me and I’m suffering in silence. I can feel my body collapse but I’m still silent. Then I cry out and release all my anger, pain and hurt. I cry and cry and they leave me alone. They are so shocked at my out burst, at what they did, that they leave me alone. I just lie there and sob and they watch me crumpled up into a little heap and no one does anything. No one wants to prove that they care; no one wants to show each other that they have gone to far. I watch them through my blue eyes filled with tears and I despise each and every one of them. I cried and cried and I watched them watch me.2