Strange Happenings pt 1


"Oh my god somebody help her she's going to jump!" I turned around as I heard a woman scream. Sure enough there was a girl at the top of a biulding with her long red hair swirling around her. I took off in a speeding run. Dammit, I thought. 1

2

"She's on the roof!" someone yelled behind me. Yeah, like I didn't already know that. I didn't talk the elevator up I ran the stairs going a lot faster this way. I threw the roof door open and crossed the space to the edge where the girl was. She turned around and saw me coming towards her. Before I could reach her she turned back and jumped. I lunged and managed to grasp her wrist. She screamed out in pain and struggled for me to let go.3

4

"Oh hell no," I said down to her as I stood up and pulled back. "Your not making me let go." Something brushed my back but I ignored it. That is until two strong male hands came around me and helped me pull her up. The girl was still struggling for all she was worth to break free and fall.5

6

"Dammit!" I yelled. "Stop!" Her pale gray eyes went dark and she slumped not moving. I yanked her all the way back onto the roof and turned. No one was there...7

Author notes

okay i'm not so sure about this but please comment anyway.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • May Kingston
    June 10
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    The idea behind it is not bad, but it is lacking in description, plot, and character development. There is not much of a story to it yet, but if you were to continue this with a bit more description and more of an explanation behind the character's actions, it could be quite promising. Thanks for entering!


  • whoudini
    May 24

    Edit | Reply

    I think that this would be a really good beginning .

    Where you would go from here and what story you would add is up you but it sounded real good and I think the grammar was good and commas here and there will slow is down and than pick it back up again. I think you got me when you look back and nobody was there, cool. Will make a good story but you have to decide where to go from here. Good job and well take care of the little things and I think you will make a good decison and look forward to the rest of the story. Thanks for entering.