My Friend Scott

The flys started to buzz around my head. My friend Scott just sat there wondering if he should call the police. The internal debate seemed to twist his face completely until it was unrecognizable. To be fair it wasnt his fault, I dont blame him at all... unfortunately I couldnt tell him that.1

The deep ditch ran across the east of the city, for a good long while. It was right before the train tracks. Me and Scott had always walked in across the field and slid down the ditch and climbed up the other side over the train tracks. To be fair taking the path meant another 15 minutes to school. And 15 minutes seemed like a lifetime. Especially before the long agonizing day that was the 7th grade. So thats how me and Scott ended up discovering the wonders that were off the path. 2

We had found a lot of things back there, someone had thrown a couch in the ditch. and on the top of the hill was a large group of ominous bushes. We would cut paths through there and eventually had set up our own private place in the world. The patch we had made went deep into the brush, even if someone had wanted to find us they wouldnt be able to find us, the path was nearly invisible except to us. Scott and I would spend hours out there. We began with just hanging of branches and talking. At one point Scott had brought a deck of cards. We would hang out play cards at one point I had stolen a pack of my Dads cigarettes, of course we got busted and my Dad beat the shit out of me. But it was worth it. No one else had a clue about the spot and we kept it that way. 3

I had been the kid in school that people didnt like, but didnt dislike. My teacher had informed my mother of my anti social behaviour. I tried my best, but school seemed to be a hell on earth. I didnt even hang out with Scott at school. I didnt know why our friendship was a secret really until now. I think we both didnt want to spoil it. We had a good thing going and trying to carry it on to be a school friendship too would be almost selfish.4

Scott was short, maybe the shortest boy in the class. He had sandy blonde hair and thin brown eyebrows, most of the girls liked him. We didnt talk about girls that often, mostly because we didnt give a crap about them. I think me and Scott both knew way early that we werent just friends. I mean of course we were great friends, but we both knew there was a lot more too it. 5

Scott was the first one to say it.... the *L* word. I hadnt had the guts to say it. But I remember that day so clearly probably because it was the worst best day of my life...6

" He hit my mom today." I said sheepishly
" You should tell someone Jay." Scott was poking into the creek with a large stick. His eyes were on the water.
" I'm telling you arent I?" I sat with my knees up to my chin.
" I mean the police... you should call the police Jay." He turned his head toward me, staring at me now.
" My Dad would kill me if I called." I hid behind my bangs now not wanting to look at Scott.
" I want to kill your Dad. No asshole like that deserves to live." He jabbed hard into the water with the stick, and to my surprise pulled it up out of the water, a frog dangling off the end of it.
" What good would that do? Besides I dont want you to get in trouble." I did a small chuckle it was half hearted more of a courtesy laugh just in case. Scott tossed the stick far into the creek, he turned and came to sit next to me.
" I would do it you know... kill him for you." he said it very solemnly, I took it seriously. My head turned to check his face to search for the joke in his statement. There was no joke.
" Why would you do that?" Im not sure now what answer I had been looking for, all I know is the one I got.
" Because I love you." Scott wasnt looking at me. Im glad he wasnt, mostly because Im not sure what my expression showed. 7

The train blew its horn almost on cue, I didnt have to speak. I didnt know what to say. I certainly wasnt going to say the wrong thing thats all I knew. Everything running through my head told me not to say anything. What if he was joking? What if he wasnt? All I knew was that I loved him too. And I knew for some reason that I couldnt tell him that. The train however eventually passed by.8

" What are you thinking Jay?" He now turned to look at me.
" Im not thinking about anything." I wondered if my lie was obvious.
" Dont worry I aint going to kiss you or anything." He laughed and tossed his arm around me. I laughed to forgetting the insecurity I had felt just moments before, this was Scott.
" Fuck you." I scoffed. He laughed with me and gave me a side hug pulling me into him.9

Scott didnt ask me to, Scott didnt hint at me or anything I just did it. He was still laughing when I kissed him on the cheek. After I did it I felt so stupid but Scott didnt flinch or look disgusted at all. He smiled turned to me and kissed me on the forehead. We sat there for a long time both of us looking out watching the frogs and just sitting there. It was a moment I wont forget. The moment I knew that no matter what I would always have Scott.10

But back to the growing buzz that swifted around my bleeding skull. We had been walking to school, there was a rock, I tripped, I fell, I died. Scott was there. Scott was sitting, school had already started by now. I can only imagine the thoughts running through his head. How much I wished I could just stretch out a hand to touch his face or pat his back. Scott cried for a while, before he had decided what to do. Scott stood up, dusting the dirt off his pants, he turned around and walked home. Scott never took the shortcut again, nor did he tell anyone about my death... I loved Scott, and he loved me... sometimes I wonder what wouldve happened, if we had had more time.