Stumbling backwards my feet caught the edge of the pavement. My hands flew backwards and I came to a sudden halt as I hit the steaming road. Using my grazed hands, I picked myself up, diving back the way I had come; avoiding my assassin's hot wheels and bumper bar.1
Author notes
50 word story for the unit I'm doing in English right now.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Thank you Zoeeee!!!!
~*Meri ♣ -
Im going to ignore david's comment in part and would like to state the fact that i had to write a 50 word story in creative writing class and geez was that a hard task. Yes, many people WOULD write short stories on this site but but do those people attempt 50 word stories? Some yes but the major part no because it is NOT easy and it is not exacly golden trying to cram all of your ideas into 50 words.... you did a good job meri with this and i commend this piece because you made a story in 50 words and i feel it worked.
i should really read more of your work more often - it is always good to read your work.
With regards,
Z -
Just in reply to Davo's (Vasquine) comment. Just because is has been submitted for marks, doesn't mean the author couldn't still work on it. And if you say that there's no point in changing it, because it won't change the mark, doesn't mean a person won't want some comment telling them how it could be improved. And yes, it might just have been submitted to this site to be read, but there is nothing wrong with that, and they might get some encouragement from the comments people post.
~The Enigmartist~ -
My opinion on Vasquine's comment -
We don't all have to write comments saying "This is great", "That's great hun", and so forth. If someone doesn't like it, they should be able to say that. And, as he said, it is hard, nay, near impossible to build on a 50 word story.
-N.S. 2004
Edited on Jul 23, 4:42 because 'I can, motherf*cker'. -
What would encouragement do?
Look, she's already handed it in to who-ever-the-hell and it's been marked, so what can I do? I'm not prepared to say: "this is great!!" When I don't think so at all.
Stories like these are posted merely to be read, there is no room for improvement or encouragement, there is no continuation, because it's an academic piece, so there's nothing you *can* do to improve it.
I used to get these "Nice imagery" and "Great flow" bullshit "comments" all the time, and they don't mean anything. This is starting to drag on..I'm probably ranting, so I'll skip to "amaranth816"'s comment by saying I write short stories all the time, and it is difficult, sometimes it's hard to cut down your story when the requirement is fifty words, it sucks, but you work with it. This is called drafting & editing, and it's how even crap stories become good stories.
...Cars. I think someone was actually chasing the character, rather than him being a victim of a hit-and-run (Assassin is rather a strong word for accident).
-Vasquine. -
I commend you for saying so much in so few words! Your write carries a warning and a message that I don't know if you intended or not, but is valid and important nonetheless. Cars are much more dangerous than they seem!!! Every day, people are killed crossing the street or on the freeway!!! We need to remember to be careful... Thanks for raising awareness!
I kinda like the way that this feels like a snippet out of something larger. The ambiguity allows the reader to make up his/her own complete plot/story. I honestly can't think of a good way to have a beginning, a conflict, a middle, and an end in 50 words, so don't listen to these people's insults. Let THEM try it... Prolly not as easy as it looks...
Great job, hun, and keep it up!!! 
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I disagee, that was a story...and not so bad. Hard to get so discriptive and still have a story line in such short space.
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Strange
This is more of a event or discription than a story. Infact it can not realy be called a story. It could be compared to those poems that tell a story.(Those collosal ones) But in reverse. There may usualy be poems made of this, but you turned it into a 'story'(keeping with the comparitive aspect). Although I presume I'm seeing sense in what doesn't actualy exist. -
That was harsh Vasquine. Have you not heard of encouragment?
Merciless Beauty, this is quite a good 50 word story. Only thing i can say is maybe change the ending so it has a bit of finality? Other than that it's quite good!
One love,
Kitty xxx -
I'm just wondering what you hope to achieve by putting this on the site.
That's all.
-Vasquine.
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