He enjoyed the crowded clubs that drew young healthy women like ants to a picnic. He eyed them with appetite and desire. He had thousands of young woman over the centuries. He had chosen a young lady earlier and he had watched her go home, but was waiting for she and her family to retire for the night, avoiding unnecessary complication. He wanted one or so more women. His thirst for life's young fluid was great. He had been a while without sustenance.1
He had noticed the young woman on the college campus earlier that day as he shopped for fresh blood and attractive bodies. Although the sun's glare did bother his eyes, he could get by with polarized sunglasses or dematerialize. He preferred night, but sometimes, as today, he hunted during the day. It depended on his mood and his appetite. He was very hungry today.2
She was attractive with brown hair. Slim, she was average in height. She wore tight jeans and a tight t-shirt which showed clearly her figure. Very pretty when she smiled and she had the look of innocence and youth. The very things that attracted him most. Unseen, he had followed her. Even as she walked home, she had no idea that death was stalking her.3
So he had left her at home to have dinner with her parents and planned to return later for her. In the meantime he was looking for more fresh blood at the club.4
She ate, did her homework, and took a shower. Delicately drying her beautiful body, she admired herself in the mirror. She liked the way her body was developing. She put on a satin nightgown and began to blow dry her long brown hair. It took only a few minutes. She turned off the the lights and went to bed. 5
She slept peacefully in her home and in her own bed. In the morning her parents would find her dead. She shivered as she lay asleep. She dreamed of love she hoped would come, but deathly indifference was near. Her face glowed with the inner peace of youth and innocence. That innocence had only an instant before it would dissolve into nightmare.6
He passed through the closed window like air through the cracks. He watched her as she slept and as she breathed. Her chest barely rose beneath her nightgown. Her hands rested at her sides. He admired her beautiful form. She was relaxed and peaceful in sleep. Only just eighteen, her youthful body was deeply enticing, luscious. The marvelous scent of her youth and her freshness filled the room. He could hardly hold back his hunger and lust. Knowing that control gave more pleasure, he paced himself. He knew his experience with her would be delicious. He shouldn't rush. He had chosen her precisely for her youth and purity. He was eager for her delicate taste.7
He placed his hand firmly on her soft pliant abdomen to wake her, glaring into her eyes. In his trance she was paralyzed and he enjoyed the intense fear in her pretty blue eyes as she woke. She stared helplessly at his face. He pressed harder watching her struggle for breath. The softness and warmth of her belly were wonderful. She shivered under his touch.8
In his eyes she saw black emptiness, no remorse, no pity. His icy cold hand on her tummy caused goose bumps of fear all over her body. She lay limp feeling his hand through her silky nightgown, solely for his pleasure, not hers. Still, it felt some comforting to her.9
Her soft warm skin was sensual to his touch. He rejoiced in her warmth because of the pleasure of the contact of her warm flesh. Also he anticipated his satisfaction at the sensation of feeling such warmth fade with the lives of his victims. She shuddered with unwanted excitement as she felt the pressure of his hands. He kissed her and under his trance she had not choice but to respond. She was chilled by his touch while the heat she tried to restrain built inside her.10
Hypnotically she lay still unable to move. Her brown hair was disheveled. Her eyes pleaded with him. She could not speak or scream, but had complete awareness. She could not resist him for all her will and the screaming inside.11
He kissed her again. Though she hated to, she responded; her body under his control. She knew he had no animosity toward her. She was like a mouse to a cat. She knew he would play with her until he was ready for the kill. She knew death was near. 12
He curiously thrilled and frightened her. His touch was cold. Her milky pale skin glowed with the essence of the freshness and youth of her body. She wanted to run, but could only respond to him. He enjoyed the sensation of her soft warm skin against his.13
She knew what he was and knew that he would take her life. Her time was almost up. 14
He kissed her long and then he bit deeply into her artery. Her feet and hands tingled at first and then began to hurt. Pain pulsed in her heart, arms, and legs with each heartbeat. Then there was a general numbing in her body, especially in her arms and legs. She felt dizziness and nausea. The pain in her heart was subsiding. Her heart and breathing stopped. She was surprised as she slipped into eternal sleep. It hadn't hurt as much as she expected.15
He had felt her last breath and the last beat of her heart. Satisfied as he swallowed the last of her blood; he remained on her feeling her body cool. Then he left her as she had laid before. Appearing almost as peaceful as she had been in sleep, she now seemed in death.16
A creature is prisoner of its nature.17
Author notes
Batuins Rock
http://th09.deviantart.net/fs10/300W/i/2006/112/f/3/A_Vampire____by_Rivania.jpg
Vampire and Damsel in Distress.
Hey!!! Twilight
mesolesokeso: Option: 2b
In a list
- Vampire Romance group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Vampires, were-wolves, and pictures! Oh, my! by Friesian.
175 points, ended December 10, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Give me some vampire thrills! by im....
130 points, ended March 11, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Vampires, Horror… Supernatural Episodes! by dark-fantasies.
300 points, ended April 27, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes by Vampiric souls.
175 points, ended May 17, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - They have sharp teeth, they bite, and we love 'em by NinjaMegami.
100 points, ended June 9, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Vampires Ghosts And Demons. by Web Haunting.
155 points, ended June 20, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - vampires! by machie.
150 points, ended June 16, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Fantasy lovers or commenting lovers by NinjaMegami.
100 points, ended July 18, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - STORIES, POEMS, ANYTHING! by Clary--Selene--Tayy.
350 points, ended February 13, 34 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - VAMPIRES! Twilight or not twilight! As Long as there are VAMPIRES!! by Toxic Valentine.
115 points, ended April 24, 47 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Three Options by Cupcake14.
150 points, ended May 20, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Vamp contest by Raining.Fire.
130 points, ended June 8, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - vampire stories by snoble.
100 points, ended June 14, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Under 1000 Words. by andhearts. ox.
100 points, ended July 10, 31 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Sour Angels by Ashlyn Rose.
182 points, ended July 27, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Vampires! *HISS!* by Len Shadow.
165 points, ended August 4, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Prompt Contest by neutraltint.
350 points, ended August 3, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Basically anything, but has to be dark. or horror. by CrystalFairyWings.
172 points, ended September 11, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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that was so cool. very beautifully written.
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Hi there!
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased you like this story.
I have this and another story with the same vampire. I also have this vampire in the original series of about fifty-five stories, but those contain explicit erotica. If you'd like the links, I'll be happy to provide them.
Andy
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yeah i'd love to read more. please send them through. thanks.
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IT WAS REALLY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I THOUGHT HE WOULD JUST BITE HER, NOT KISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hi Stella!
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I'm very please you like this story. I have another one with this vampire. If you'd like the link, I'll give it to you.
It's all right for the vampire to drain her of blood, but not to kiss her
?
Andy
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Nicely done, best of luck. I don't really like vamps personally, but I'll try not to let that cloud my judgment.
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Hi Krazy!
Thanks for hosting the contest. I hope you had fun with it.
You don't like vampires; what do you enjoy?
Andy
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Very well written. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest!
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Hi there!
I just noticed this comment.
I'm glad you like this story. I hope you enjoyed the contest.
Andy
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I've read this before... it was good you got silver remember... but you didn't follow the rules this time so I'm sorry you can't win. but i won't DQ you. thanks for putting Batuins rock by the way... they do you know? rock that is
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Yep FH!
Read right over your twelve contest limit. I also didn't remember your name, but I should have probably checked. I removed these entries.
Who or what is Batuins?
Andy
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This is very interesting. It was a good read, too. Very well written, and Very good. vampire-y too. I like the vampires
~Julia -
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Hi Rose!
I'm very pleased that you like this story. There's a sequel to it. Actually, the original vampire of this story was in Adult categories. I decided to write some versions that younger members could read. In the Adult series there are probably fifty stories or so.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
Andy
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A very interesting vampire story. I am glad you read the part where it said what story types I liked. Very well written. Good job and good luck in the contest.
louisethebeaver
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Hi Louise!
I'm very happy that you like this story. This is one of my favorite vampires.
I hope you have fun with your contest.
Thanks for hosting.
Andy
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It was a pretty good story, considering I don't care much for vampires or romance. It was really nice, but sadly it wasn't about a ghost. It was about a vampire. I apologize, but it can't run in the contest. I will, however, give you some applauses for your hard work. Thank you anyway and good luck in other contests!
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Hi there!
I figured that this story might be pushing the rules, but I noticed no clear indication eliminating vampires, so I tried. I don't often write about ghosts.
Thanks for all the applause. That was nice of you.
Andy
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I like this story a lot! I think that you did a great job.
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Hi!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
I hope you had a great time with your contest.
Andy
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Hmm...it seemed to repeat a little but was still very well written. Apparently many agree. *refering to trophies*
P.S. By the many entered contests and style...I can tell it's you Andy. -
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Hi!
Well, I don't really make much effort to hide who I am, it's the system that does that. As a gold member, when I host contests, I check the contests so I can see the names.
I'm glad that you like this story. I hope it fares well in your contest.
Andy
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I could figure out it was you just by reading the first sentence.
Youdefinitly have a distinct writing style. (I'm not saying that in a bad way.)
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Pretty good work you got here. The only thing I really noticed is I think you have a small typo on paragraph nine.
You wrote:
Still, it felt some comforting to her
it threw me off for a moment. Outside of that I didn't see anything that needed to be changed. Good stuff. -
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Hi Duke!
I'm very glad that you like this story. I really enjoy writing vampires, though now I'm spending more time in the company of cannibals.
Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
Andy
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Wow.
I can see why this won so many trophies.
It was such a shame for the porr girl. Dreams and hopes smashed and never fulfilled. It's a sad thing. Kinda awared me of the horrors of taking lives, I guess you could say.
You did a wonderful job. Good luck.
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Hi CMWUR!
I'm very pleased you like this story.
Another major reason that this story has many trophies is that it's been at Storywrite since Storywrite began. Makes me an old timer.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Wha?!
this this well it makes me want to cry! just well this sucks! Not that your story was sad! is totally was awesome. But that's why I want to cry. You broke my contest rule!
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Yep!
I done it again
. Are you sure that ten contest rule was in there all the time? Oh well, again, DQ if you need to. I'm glad you like the story.
Andy
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i really liked this. i felt sooooooooooooooooo sorry for the girl. very emotional!!!!!!!!!! great work
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Hi there!
I'm very pleased that you like this story. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Usually in my vampire stories, the victims don't survive
.
Andy
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I liked this. Alot. Good luck
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Hi Tori!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting on my stories. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased that you like this one.
Andy
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This was a really good story! It was gripping, interesting and impossible to not enjoy!
My favourite part was definitely this sentence: "Even as she walked home, she had no idea that death was stalking her."
Well done, thanks for the entry and good luck!
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Hi Heartless!
Thanks very much for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I'm so pleased you like my vampire.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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I really liked the description and word choice, but there was no twist, it was a classic with no change... I really did like it tho!
Good luck!
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Well,
Sorry that the vampire didn't do the twist, but you know how vampires can be
!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Good. A bit twilighty--i guess it was meant to be?
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Hi Beach-Bum!
I haven't read or seen Twilight, so I can assure that I didn't copy it. I'd heard they sparkle
. I do follow some of the vampire conventions. I've heard about some of the Twilight characters, mostly name only.
I do know that I wrote and posted my vampire well before I'd heard of Twilight.
I'm glad you like the story.
Andy
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hmm
i really liked this one, it was set right. you could see everything and halfway feel his icy touch. you could see his eyes and her eyes as if you were watching it all. this is very a very good peice. heck good isnt the write word its great. i did enjoy this peice very very much. then attention to the detail as you described him feeding from her was marvelous.i myself love a good vampire story and this one is very good. its not way to long not way to short. i must thank you for entering it into my contest
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 5.
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Hi! Snoble!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
I first wrote this story as vampire erotica. I stripped most of the erotica out of it so anybody at the site could read it.
I continued with the erotic series of stories and gave the vampire a name and a human assistant. There are more than forty stories in the series. I hope to adapt them into a novel at some point.
I'm very glad you like this story.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Awesome
You know...if this hadn't won so many awards already, and you had put this in my contest, it probably would have at least placed second. This was much better than your other story. I really enjoyed reading this. The attention to detail when you were describing how the vampire fed from the girl was marvelous. I was in awe while reading this. You really did a fantastic job with this one.
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Hi Caradoc!
This story is a revision of a story that included graphic erotica. I began writing stories at Allpoetry before Storywrite was separated from it. The story from which this story is derived, was my first story there. I took the erotica out so that younger readers could view it. Same with 'Coed Dorm'. The vampire in both these stories is continued in the other series and there are more than forty stories in that series. I gave my vampire a name, Victor.
I've since developed other vampires, but again, there's graphic erotica. If I remember, you didn't want that in your contest.
I write in a lot of genres, but most of my writing has been crime or horror erotica.
I'm currently co-writing a novel, which is nearing completion, that is a mystery/thriller. I think you'd enjoy it, but in a couple of chapters there is some erotica.
I'm very glad that you like this story and happy that you looked it up.
Andy
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Well do you have a link, lol? I have no problem reading erotica, it's just that I wasn't in the mood for it when I started the contest.
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sweet! i love anything vampric, and the detail of the kill and the fear was amazing. great story and good luck in this contset alnog with future ones!
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Hi Dassy!
I'm very glad that you like my story. I was hoping you would. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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My, you write vampire stories too?
Why did you enter it in a story for sad stories? I liked the vampire more. XD
You're a finalist!
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Hi!
Thanks again for the honorable mention and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
I've written a whole lot of vampire stories. I have a series of more than forty stories about a vampire named Victor that I hope to adapt into a novel. I also have a bunch of other vampires in other stories and poems, but unfortunately in your case, they are in adult categories. I've got a few that aren't. If you'd like, I can find them and send you the links.
Andy
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Haha this was good. Ummm I thought lacking a bit of substance, but it was very good. I did ask for romance, and he had no deep feelings for her. Also, it irks me just a bit when one has already one at least three trophies on something and they continue to enter contests. Just because it isn't altogether fair to other contestants. But I really enjoyed your writing and found it incredibly easy to read. You held my attention and had really good description, although I daresay you could have gone into it more deeply. I liked your flow and the way that you wrapped your sentences around eachother a bit, if that makes sense. I also liked the lazy type of voice that you gave the character. The characterization was very good. Good luck and thanks for entering my contest!
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Hi!
Guilty! I'm a trophy whore. If a contest is open to prewrites and I feel I have a qualifying story, I'll pop it in. Unless there is a restriction in the contest regarding the number of trophies a story may have, I'm not really concerned. I'm sure that sometimes having trophies attached to a story reduces its chances of winning.
I'm glad that you like my character, writing style, and enjoy this story. This character was introduced initiatlly for a contest, I've since used him in more than 40 stories. Later he gets involved with a human female, white witch. Except in his relationship to her, he's not very romantic.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Nice, it was good, descriptions were good. Even though I am a more romace fall in love keep her alive, you did a nice job!
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Hi Angel!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
Yep, the vampire's interest was more his blood lust than romance. I've written a series of stories with this vampire in which he falls in love with a human white witch, but it has erotica and is therefore rated adult.
I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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This was great!
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Hi!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased you like this story.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Well done! I love reading your stories. When I get bored I read one and they always lift my mood! This story was well written, and very discriptive! The charactors were so belevable too! I really can't put into words how good your stories are! Seriously! WELL DONE!!!
~Cat
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Hi!
Thanks very much for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I'm greatly pleased that you enjoy reading my stories. Do you like vampire stories as a rule?
Andy
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To put it simply, I LOVE vampires! So in answer to your question... yes!
I think vapire stories are fun to read becasue they are fictional, and everybody has their own ideas on vampires so every sotry is a little different. Like the Twilight series, who every thought a vampire would sparkle, or be so intoxiating, or be their own kind of vegitarian! I could go on but I wont...
They're just as fun to write for the reasons above too! My vapire story "Vampire Night" was heaps fun because it was filled with whatever I wanted!
But seriously though, the more vampires out there, the more fun!
~Cat
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Hi Cat!
Most of my vampire stories are adult, but I have one other story that you can read about the same vampire. If you'd like, I'll send you the link.
Andy
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Oh, yes that would be great! Thanks!
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omg that was excellent. i loved it! best story i have read for a while. It was written extrmemely well and the story line was very good.I really enjoyed it, keep up the great work. Well done!!!
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Hi there!
I'm very pleased that you like this story so much. It's an edited version of the first story I posted at Allpoetry when Allpoetry was a poem and story site. When Storywrite was founded, the stories at Allpoetry were transferred over here.
Thanks for reading me and for commenting and all the applause. I appreciate it.
Andy
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hm...
HOLY SMOKES I LUVED THIS STORY! thank-you for your entry, i will be reviewing the finalists momentarily! -
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Hi!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased you like this story.
I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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i liked it
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Hi!
Thanks for reading and applauding. I really apprciate it. I'm very pleased that you like this story. Thanks for dropping by.
Andy
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Awesome! I liked how you described every little thing that he felt while stealing her life from her. One thing would be that you talked about hyer warmtha tad bit more than was necessary. one time is enough
-Dani -
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Thanks Dani
I'm glad you like this story. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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good, but there is something missing in ur author's notes! fix it quick!
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Fixed!
I guess I didn't read carefully enough. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading. I appreciate it. I hope you like this story.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy -
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no problem, its just a little thing. good story
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hmm...mostly well written. ow you phrased some of the sentences confused me a little but it wasn't enough to distract from the story.
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. Sorry you were confused. I hope you had many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Um...
Wow...again, it was SPECTACULAR! Great work.....
.......................Um.......................
......Oh yeah, good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I'm glad you like this story.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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very good i like it
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and the brief comment. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased that you like my story.
Andy
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Cold and evil. Love the detailed description. Love this one.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I'm very glad that you like this story.
Andy
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That's a really good story, and good advice! Great job! Thanks for entering it!
*With Love* ~Wendy Elizabeth~ -
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Thanks Wendy Elizabeth
I'm glad you like this story. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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oooooooh.
very nice and lots of discription. good job! -
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Thanks
Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm glad you like this story. Thanks again for stopping by.
Andy
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THis was very well written though somewhat predictable. Your grammar and flow are brilliant and i think that you would be able to expand this into something larger...like a second...? Just a thought. Very well done!...but then again...your stuff usually is
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Thanks Durian
Yes, with vampire stories the victims usually are usually enslaved, turned or killed. My vampires usually kill their victims. In my vampire stories, the ultimate end is usually very predictable. I've got a couple of vampire stories where the ending is different for the victim apparent. However, really for the most part, my vampire stories are somewhat repetitive. I had a fan base at Allpoetry which was following my vampire series.
I'm glad you like this story. It is actually the edited version of a larger story. However, having read this, there would be no surprises in that story. It is more sexually explicit.
Andy
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This was really well written and I think that this could develop into a great story, it was really well written and it had me entranced (Sorry lame joke)Thank you for entering.
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I hope you like this story. I also hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Hmm, this was very interesting. Although there were a lot of short sentences, it still flowed really well, and drew me in from the very first sentence. It would've helped if you had more descriptions and emotions though- that would've brought your piece to life. Your storyline was interesting, but not very gripping, and more of a twist to the ending would've made it stand out more. As for vampires and horror- I didn't find this scary or chilling, but this was very vampirish. The way you wrote it gave it an almost dreamlike feel, and if that was what you were going for then well done. I liked the detail in this, it really brought out your characters, but more of a background to the vampire would've been nice. There weren't one or two paragraphs which stood out when I read, because all of your paragraphs flowed freely into one another, which helped keep flow and pace. Overall, this was a very enjoyable piece. Well done.
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased that you like this story.
I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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There are too many short sentences that make the story seem immature and lacking excitement. It seems like your character is going to come to her demise but there is no suspenceful buildup.
The story seemed a little one dimentional and I didn't feel any emotion from it. I wasn't hooked in and the style was more telling instead of showing so I didn't feel the fear of the victim or the hunger of the vampire.
I did like the concept, however, as I enjoy vampire stories and I loved your photo to represent the story.
Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Thanks Jenn
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. Another one you didn't like. Oh well. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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wow
This was rather interesting. Nice words! I could see this entire story in my head, good luck in my contest!
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Thanks
Who is Edward Cullen?
I hope you like my little vampire story. I'm glad that you could visualize the descriptions. Thanks for hosting this contest and reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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WOW!
This was astonishing!!! I LOVED it!! I really enjoyed the descritpions and the phrases, especially the awesome end! Great job! Good luck in the contest!
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Thanks Friesian
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased that you like this story.
Andy
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Sorry!
Hey sorry.. we made a mistake.. we you did.. this story DOESN'T fit into option 5. Option 5 is about the life of a pink banana.. option 4 is vampires. But no worries. We know what you mean!!
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Thanks
I'll change the option number. Sorry about that. I have a poem about a pink banana. I'm very pleased that you like this so much. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I hope you have many good entries and a lot of fun.
Andy
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cooooooollllll!
Hey that's really cool! We liked it heaps.. Good luck in the contest! This fits perfectly into category/option 5. You have good chance of winning... ☺ -
I realized you had used the phrases of youth and freshness in different ways repeatedly. That seemed to pop out at me more than most of your errors. However, many of your descriptions were very well-written and the last sentence was just what I love, something to keep the reader awed even after reading it all. Good job, I wish you luck in the contest and thank you for entering.
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it. I hope you have many good entries and a great time. Hmm. You make it sound like I have a lot of mistakes. Oh well, I hope you enjoyed reading it.
Andy
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good
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